Prison Break


My morning usually starts like this: The alarm goes off, I get out of bed (eventually, usually by the third time I get out of bed), I go to the kitchen, turn on the lights and start making breakfast and coffee, then to the computer to check the news, as I walk past the gerbil cage I say hi to Bea. This morning I got to the part where I peer into the cage and say hi to Bea only to be met with a gerbil-less cage. I tap the cage to see if she's just hiding under the shredded stuff. Nope, no gerbil. Suddenly I'm wide awake despite not having had even a sip of my coffee yet. As I have Tiny Preditors (cats) my next thought was 'Holy shit! There's a half eaten gerbil carcas around her somewhere!' I didn't recall stepping on it si I made a quick search of the living room, dining room and kitchen. No crime scene. I dash upstairs to K who was in the shower and poke my head in the door to inform him that Bea is missing. Back down the stairs to search for a missing gerbil. I check the bar where the cage sits, I check the counter below as well. No gerbil. At this point I notice The Best Fucking Mouser In Texas AKA Sunshine sitting patiently stareing at the refrigerator - more precisely at the space between the refrigerator and the wall. I surmise that the gerbil must be behind the refrigerator. Hmmm... That's good and bad. Good that she's still alive, good because Sunshine can't reach her, bad because I can't reach her. I begin smacking one side of the refrigerator with one of the Little People's swim noodles and peeking in the other side - Bea comes out just a bit then will dart back behind the refrigerator. Grrrr... K comes down from his shower and I inlist him in banging on the refrigerator while I prepare to grab the gerbil. We do that for about 5 minutes as the Little People look on in amazement and confusion. K has enough and starts pulling the refrigerator out. I did not do this before for one main reason. We have things on top of the refrigerator. Things like the food processor, the bread maker, a wine holder, a box of fancy oriental soup bowls, the food steamer, etc. I did not want something to fall and break or worse fall and squash a gerbil. Anyway, we have discovered the best way to flush out a fugitive gerbil is to drop an expensive Margarita pitcher from the back of a refrigerator (yes I know, probably not the smartest place to keep the pitcher, but my storage space is limited). Bea shot out from behind the refrigerator and into the middle of the kitchen. Then the chase began. She was terrified. We had trouble getting ahold of her as she ran through the kitchen, into the dining room, over the cat's food (that's just asking for trouble) and back into the kitchen, K finally got her and she's safely back in her cage... with something heavy on the escape hatch.

Well that's my excitement for the morning, probably don't need this cup of coffee now.