Sequels

I’m convinced that the best reason to have a second child is to experience the differences that come with a second child. Like how when you have just one you think that little one is so amazing and cute and intelligent and amazing and then when you have the second you realize that you kids are only those things to YOU and that most other people think they are one step away from the missing link. Also, the way that becoming a parent can be a humbling experience (i.e. walking around all day long with spit up down your back), the act of becoming a parent to the second power is a humiliating experience (i.e. walking around in the Wal-Mart in your house shoes and rumpled clothes dragging two screaming kids dressed in their stained and ratty Halloween costumes in the middle of December while you search for a bottle of children’s cough syrup and a few hundred boxes of Kleenex). It’s also an amazing learning experience, mostly learning how frighteningly similar preschoolers and schizophrenics are, and this is a magnified experience when you have a second child. Why? Because the first one is always just ‘going through a phase’ and it’s cute, but the second one, well you aren’t fooling yourself anymore and you just sit there going ‘WFT???’ Let me illustrate this with Cabbage Patch’s actions today. She spent most of the day playing with a basket of nail polish. Yes nail polish. She never opened any of the bottles, she just took them all out of the basket and did things with them. She hid them then retrieved them all (at my firm demand), she set them all up in rows then stacked them, she gave them little voices and personalities and made them interact with one another (which was most disturbing as there was a lot of screaming and falling involved), she made them dance and sing and she did this ALL. DAY. LONG. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or get her some Prozac.

Weird People Make Me Smile

Just a moment ago Kent saw something on my toe and asked me what it was, thinking it was blood and maybe I hurt myself. I said ‘I don’t know.’ Then I added ‘Maybe I killed someone… with my toe.’ And he said ‘Ahhhh.. with Toe Fu.’ I had tears streaming down my face.