Kitchen Fires, Toxic Fumes And Knives Hurled At Me… Damn! What A Damn Fine Mother’s Day!

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I’m sure everyone knows that by now. I worked because it was a Sunday and I normally work on Sundays (as I’m sure everyone who reads this on a semi-regular basis knows already). After a busier than normal Sunday at the hospital and lower than expected sales for the day, I headed home. I was in a really good mood. Everyone was napping when I got home, so who am I to make waves… I napped also. I heard the children and hubby get up shortly after I went to nap and heard them leave for the store. When they returned Super Girl bursts into my room yelling “Happy Mother’s Day mamma! We got you some flowers!” hehehehe… I tried to send her out to watch cartoons or torture the cats – I didn’t care what, I just wanted to nap some more. I was tired from us having friends over for a delightful dinner the night before and of course it ran a bit on the late side. Once I realized that more sleep was just a feeble wish of mine that would not come true, I got up and stumbled into the living room. Hubby informs me that he and the little people had procured ingredients for a special Mother’s Day dinner for me but we are out of butter so he (and them) would need to head back to the store to purchase butter. Super Girl informs me for the 500th time that I have flowers, then they leave. While they are at the market I poke around the kitchen, hmmmm…. Fresh green beans – very nice…. Ohhhhh fresh corn on the cob – I do like that… Ahhhhh steak! I love that!… yum yum yum yum yum! Dinner rolls! Mmmmm the food of the gods! I wash and trim the green beans while I wait for my family to return. Super Girl announces to me as soon as she walks through the door that “We got you a card mamma!” I hear hubby muttering “Thanks for keeping a secret…” hehehehe… kids.

I go sit on the couch and start watching Treasure Planet as hubby starts preparing dinner. 10 or so minutes into this Super Girl starts yelling at me “Mamma! Mamma! There’s a fire in the oven!” I look towards the kitchen and see the yellow-orange glow of fire and hop up off the couch. In the kitchen I see fire coming up from under one of the burners, hubby has been pouring salt on it to put it out. Not working, but it’s not really getting any bigger, I help by popping up the burner and the grease catching thingie that goes under the heating element – ya see, the fire is not IN the oven, it’s IN the STOVE TOP. Actually under the burner. Once the heating element and the grease catching thingie are off it takes just a bit more salt and it’s out. I turn on the vent to suck the smoke out of the kitchen and head back to the comfort of the couch, restart the DVD. We all laugh. 10 minutes later I smell toxic fumes and muse aloud “What’s that smell? What’s burning?” A quick look towards the kitchen answers both of those questions. I rush off to the kitchen as the lovely yellow-orange glow seems larger this time. Ahhhh… the stovetop fire again. Well at least it’s not one that would require the fire extinguisher this time. We go through the whole removal of the heating element and grease catcher thingie and pouring the salt on the fire. I ask, “Did you clean that out before?” “Yes I did.” Is the rather testy answer I get from hubby. (men.) He shoos me aside to get the steaks out of the oven and as he takes the steaks out of the oven he knocks a LONG serrated knife off the counter and on my foot. A look at my foot and a quick count of piggies reveal than none have ‘gone to the market’ and his feeble attempt to kill me has come to nothing. I go open windows in the living room to let in some breathable air in the house. Back to the couch for me…. Restart the DVD yet again.

A few minutes later hubby serves the most delightful dinner, he even cut the corn off the cob for me. Mmmm mmmm. The steak was so damn good and so tender. Hubby serves the little people (who of course turn their nose up at everything except the corn and rolls) and he finally sits down with his plate. We restart the DVD… AGAIN.

So all in all, the food was fabulous, the movie was really good and hubby’s lame attempts to kill me were unsuccessful. It was a good Mother’s Day. Of course after thinking it all over, I don’t think I’ll let hubby make me a ‘surprise special dinner’ anymore… every time he’s done that, it’s been absolutely spectacular, but something has ALWAYS happened… once he made dinner for our anniversary, the dish washer broke and flooded the kitchen and hallway, we ended up eating our elegant meal on paper plates because I didn’t want to get plates dirty since we didn’t know how long it would take to get the dishwasher fixed (it was Friday night). Another time he made dinner, the kitchen sinks clogged and he could NOT get them unclogged, so again we ended up eating our gourmet dinner on paper plates. No more surprise special dinners made by him, they always taste wonderful, but one of these days they’ll be the death of me!