Dangerous Night



Before I start this tale, let me be clear that I bear no ill will towards K and he bears none towards me. All of the animosity that might provoke either one of us (me mostly) to spill the other's blood was brief and has passed many years ago. Now on to the tale.

K is a very fuzzy guy. His hair is super thick and his beard grows in thick and wooly like a sheeps coat. For nearly as long as we have been married (11 years in June), I've trimmed his beard and cut his hair - without incident. Tonight was like no other night.

K was looking more like Ted Kaczynski than like himself so I figured it was time to bring out the sheers and get the dirty work out of the way. K got the clippers out and started getting them ready when disaster struck! Well okay, that's a bit of an exageration, a minor accident happened as he was cleaning the blades and checking the clippers, and he cut his thumb, right under the nail - OUCH! (see first picture). When K signaled that his bleeding was finished and the clippers were ready to lose his winter coat, I get started. Part way through the bush that is his beard I decide I need to change guides on the clippers to get a closer cut. I turn off the clippers and pull off the first guide, as I'm putting the second guide on the damn clippers jump from my hand and attack me! Cutting three of my fingers! (the pinky finger hurt the worst!)(see second picture)

That should have been a warning to STOP! But I rarely heed warnings like that. We forage ahead. Things were going well, we were discussing current events in our lives when suddenly the guide flew off the clippers and hit the floor. The problem with that is that I didn't realize the guide had flown off the clippers until it hit the floor, meaning I had already put the clippers back to K's head, there by giving him a VERY close shave in one spot. Okay, okay, I gave him a bald spot - square, bald square. Yeah I did. It wasn't my fault though! The damn clippers are possessed or something! They were out to get us! Anyway... When I heard the guide hit the floor I realized the error in my ways and GASPED as I looked at the bald square now in K's hair. K started laughing - he had JUST been joking about his imaginary bald spot now being visible with shorter hair... well now it wasn't imaginary or a joke. He kept laughing. I started laughing, realizing that he wasn't going to grab a knife from the knife drawer (which unfortunately was closer to him than me) and turn it into a bad episode of CSI. I literally doubled over laughing, partly from shock and partly from relief that he wouldn't kill me (I'd even call it justifiable homicide for this too) - I of course turned off the clippers first, wouldn't want to cut any of my lovely locks! It takes a good 5 minutes for us to stop laughing.

Luckily it's not really a huge deal, K prefers his hair pretty damn short especially in the back (it looks best like that also) and the bald square is toward the back. I just put the really short guide on the clippers and finished up, with many snickers and giggles and occasional waves of guilt. His hair looks fine now, really it does. Yes you can still see the bald square, but it's not so bad. In a week it will have grown in enough so I can do a quick trim and no one will be the wiser... except for everyone who actually sees the bald square and those who read about it on here.

I refrained from taking a photo of the incriminating area affected. I figured that was just best, I really didn't need to photo document my fuck up.

Anyway, before all was said and done, I had to clean the clippers. As I had already been injured by the clippers I decided to let K put the guide back on - and tragedy struck again! He was cut yet again by the Clippers of Pain! (picture three)Damn these things!

Everything is fine now, the blood is cleaned up, the wounds bandaged and K looks fine. I however will snicker about this for weeks, then feel horribly guilty for mameing K in such a way. Then snicker again.