Yesterday K and I went to procure new swim attire for the Tiny Terrorists. That meant a trip to Ross. It also meant that I would get to peruse the racks of clothing for some new funky piece of clothing. After the selection of new swim wear for EVERYONE (even me, but that’s another story) I steered the cart over to the fat chick area and started pawing through the racks of stuff and lo and behold what did I find… the MOST PERFECT pair of pants EVER made. In my size even. A pair of camouflage Capri pants. I immediately dropped the mini skirt I had been carrying around and snatched the pants off the rack declaring to K that THESE WERE THE ONES! K immediately started to smirk and make snide comments about how all I needed was a wife-beater and some combat boots to be ready for the pride march. I cast him a disparaging glance and muttered to him to shut up, that I didn’t think they let bi-sexuals in the march anyway. I searched through the racks of shirts to find a PERFECT one to go with my fabulous new pants (oddly enough I did keep finding tank tops that would go with the pants, but I didn’t buy any – because I already have some and secondly the amazing camouflage tank just wasn’t in my size) and ignored K’s continual comments about my Militant Lesbian uniform as I selected the perfect white lacy shirt to compliment the pants. When I tried the fabulous pants on, K commented that they actually looked really good on me. I’m thinking that camouflage print makes my fat ass harder to see… Maybe I need to buy all my clothes in camo from now on. Might not actually HIDE my ass from sight but in a pinch I’ll be able to hide in the bushes.
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