Bus Station Freaks

When I went to visit XXX (I've changed his nick-name from XXXX to XXX as Petey thinks Triple X is a much cooler moniker - He's right. Truth is, I had always intended to change the name but couldn't think of anything that fit him and wasn't identifying) I took the bus. I did this to be kind and compassionate to K as he wanted to be able to take the little people for a few outings whilst I was away. Also the cost of a bus ticket was the same as the cost of gas for the trip and the length of time it would take to ride the bus was not much longer than me driving there (or so it seemed).

I raced through work on Sunday so I could arrive back home at 11 am and make the drive to the bus station down town by noon. We got there; I bought the ticket and got in the rather long line. Now the secret to riding a bus and not ending up sitting next to the 'hasn't bathed recently, alcoholic homeless person who reeks of urine and quotes random bible verses at you then falls into a drunken stupor that somewhat resembles fitful sleep on your arm for the entire trip" is to find your freak first. Don't wait for all the freaks to be chosen as you WILL end up sitting next to aforementioned drunk smelly religious zealot. I chose a rather tame looking Hispanic guy with lots of tattoos. He was very nice, we chatted about his work and he showed me photos of his children and grand children. When it came time to board the 12:15 pm bus, the line was stopped a few people before me. Seems the bus was full and there were 7 of us who would not fit on the 12:15 pm. Fuck. The bitchy terminal worker told us to wait and a new bus would arrive shortly. I called Triple X and told him of the delay, he was amused as he didn't want me taking the bus in the first place - he worried about me being downtown with the pimps and ho's. I went back to my suitcase (second rule to taking a bus is to NEVER carry more luggage than you can store in the overhead compartment) and continued chatting with my chosen freak. Another freak had joined the conversation. She was a rough looking girl, very much a freak though. Shortly before 1 pm (the next bus was at 1:15pm) we were herded onto another bus - my chosen freak was sent to another bus and me and freak girl went to the same one. Damn. Freak girl sat across from me and we commenced chatting. She was a very nice person. 21, three kids, face piercings, freaky hair, acknowledged the fact that she had no business raising her three kids with her life style, had come to Dallas to meet a guy she met in a chat room (and had no clue what he even looked like!). She was a very very nice person and I enjoyed chatting with her - still a freak, she was just missing the tattoos to complete her somewhat scary look. In Austin she departed the bus for good. I was sad that I'd have no one to chat with the rest of the ride.

Left In Waco
At the Austin terminal an old lady got on the bus, I saw her depart the bus when we got there; she got back on and sat in the seat right in front of me. She started chatting with an old lady in the seat in front of her. This is what I heard:

Old Lady #1 (in seat ahead of me): Thank Gawd I got my plant back. My baby gave it to me.
OL#2: Mmmmhmmm..
OL#1: I was on a earlier bus and got left in Waco. I can not believe that driver lef me in Waco. He saw me get off th bus, now why did he leave me there? I had them call ahead and have him leave my plant in Austin. I can not believe he did that, he KNEW I was on that bus, now why did he leave me there? I was coming from my dawter, she's in the hospital and I gotta get to my other dawter, they just put her back in the hospital. Lawd I do not know why he lef me there.
OL#2: (mumbles something incoherent)...You look familiar, where you from?
OL#1: San Anton. You?
OL#2: Oh me too.
(OL #1 & #2 start talking about church activities, etc and I glaze over wishing they would fall asleep or something)
OL#1 & OL#2:(various snippets from the conversation I wasn't tracking too carefully) Oh yeah, th Holy Go was working that day, oh yeah the Holy Go was working.... Lawd have mercy. Thank Gawd.
OL#1 drones on for a few more minutes about her two 'dawters' Michele and Queen (yeah what the fuck possessed her to name one a normal name and give the other one a fucked up name???)
OL#2 (when OL#1 takes a breath finally): We just got a prayer request for (Insert Appropriate Old Southern Name), do you know her?
OL#1: I am (Insert Appropriate Old Southern Name)!
OL#2: Well I knew that I knew you! I'm (Insert Appropriate Old Southern Name)!
OL#1: I knew you looked familiar!
(fill in appropriate repetitive conversation of how Gawd must have planned OL#1 to miss her bus so she would hook up with OL#2 and how bus driver left her in Waco and about sick 'dawters', etc - this must last for the next 30 - 45 minutes without deviating from the above mentioned subjects)

I was thankful that the two old ladies finally used up their reserves of energy or it was their nap time or something and they both went to sleep or fell into a coma or whatever, I didn't care as long as I didn't have to hear about the bus driver leaving her in Waco, Gawd's plan to have them hook up and Michele and Queen being sick.

Getting My Freak On
I arrived at my destination and immediately had strange men trying to pick me up. *eek!* I had a Fan-Fucking-Tastic visit with Triple X. (Insert appropriate details of wild and exciting time that my sweetie and I had… damn that was great). My only complaint was that it had to end. *sigh* (yeah I'm all sappy and smitten with this man - damn, someone smack me before I start spouting poetry and drawing hearts on all my papers).

Finding My Freak
The trip home was less entertaining. I arrived right on time and in line was a cute little Goth chick with nasty looking dyed black (and blue) dreads, a tattoo spanning from her wrist to her shoulder and her eyebrows were shaved and replaced by two thin black pencil marks that somewhat resembled Minnie Mouse eyebrows. She was very nice and cordial as we stood in line. I found my freak! Before boarding the bus to Dallas my luggage and purse were searched. I was instantly glad that I had dropped BOB in my overnight bag and not in my purse. The bus dude pawed through my purse asking what my Star Trek phaser key chain was. I was tempted to be a smart ass and say it was a weapon of mass destruction, my phaser. Luckily my sanity kicked back in as the image of me being held off the bus, my luggage being carefully searched and a nice chat with the local law enforcement flashed through my head and I said it was just a key chain. Goth Girl explained to me that they almost always search luggage/passengers on the trips heading North but not South as I had mentioned that I was not searched when I left Dallas. Apparently this is because of the proximity to Mexico and the 'man' wanting to keep the influx of "Party Favors" being brought from across the border to a minimum. Eh ok. I suppose I didn't look like a drug runner and my purse was somewhat boring as I wasn't subjected to the same thorough search as the three people who were ahead of me in line. I boarded my bus, Goth Girl and I exchanged a few words. As soon as the bus started everyone pretty much went to sleep - including me.

I arrived back in Dallas near 11:30 pm and took a walk around the bus station to look for K who was picking me up. In my walk around the block I was hit on my three desperate and scary men, preached at by one street preacher, had a religious pamphlet shoved at me and was asked for money by one person. K was not there. Grrr... He arrived about 10 minutes later and we headed home with one quick trip to Wataburger to procure me some foodstuff as I had neglected to eat before leaving XXX.

All in all it was a great trip, I miss XXX like crazy.