Welcome Hanta!


I have a new rodent and I'm quite enamored with her. I've named her Hanta Virus, Hanta for short. (yes I know I'm touched in the head for naming my gerbils after rodent borne illnesses - Bea, short for Bubonic Plague). We picked her up earlier this week. I have wanted to get a friend for Bea as I had read on several sites about how gerbils are social creatures and need a buddy or they'll become depressed. I am the last person to want a pet rodent on Prozac so I began looking for a companion female gerbil (no breeding pets for me, I'd rather have a couple of lesbo rodents than have a litter of gerbils to deal with). A continual check of the nearby Pet Smart yielded us no luck as they only carry male gerbils (and other rodents) (we learned of their anti-female rodent policy earlier this week when we finally ASKED if they had any females) - I had contacted a few breeders about wanting a baby but none of the butt-licks.. I mean breeders felt I was deserving of a gerbil or an answer for that matter. We headed south a couple of towns and found the coolest mecca of pets - just as it was about to close! K pleaded with the proprietor that we were just needing a female gerbil and they apparently were the ONLY place in the area that carried them. Everyone scurried out of the car and into the store. I was imediatly in awe of all the exotic little beasties for sale and promised the Little People that we would definitly return to this store if only to let them (and ME) see all of the furry critters I won't ever let them have. We were quickly ushered back to the Wonderful Wall of Rodents (that's what I call it anyway) where we all ooohhed and ahhhed at the amazing selection of rodents - the chinchilla was sooooo cool! Before I became mesmerized by the adorable bunnies, I told the helpful, ever patient proprietor that I wanted the smallest (because it would probably be the youngest) female in the cage that wasn't Cinnamon colored (because I want to be able to tell my rodents apart, duh). The specimen pictured above is what I got.

We paid our $10.81 and left with a little cardboard box wrapped rodent. My rodent.

Once home I proceded to prove to my family what an incredible idiot I truly am. I dumped Hanta into Bea's cage. Suddenly what was intended as a cute and cuddly gerbil moment turned into a caged death match between Hanta and Bea, with Bea being the giant agressor. Despite the gerbils being rather tiny I was still reluctant to stick my unprotected hand in the cage to break up the battle - hey I've seen Bea reduce a wooden spoon into splinters in just a few hours, she can turn a toilet paper roll into shreds in 60 seconds, I wasn't about to have her mistake my fingers for Hanta and have me bitten, because then I'd hate her and seriously consider poisoning her or tossing her to my cat for a treat or something unmentionably horrible that I would consider but never actuallly do. Seeing the danger my new baby was in I skillfully used the box to separate the gerbils (well actually I think I made some uninteligible sounds of panic as I shoved the box in the cage to stop Bea's murderous rampage, luckily Hanta is smart and realized her best chance for survival was to hop off the side of the cage that she had just jumped on and to get IN the box) and removed Hanta from harms way (harms way = Bea's homicidal rage). Hanta is now in her own tiny cage - safe.

Apparently I missed the section in the gerbil FAQ's that said that some gerbils are not so much social as Sociopaths and that the longer they are kept as lone gerbils the more likely they will develop homicidal and sociopathic tendencies. Bea has taken to watching Hanta. she even took all the bedding out of her little penthouse - she used to spend much of her time stuffing her penthouse with bedding or just burrowing in her bedding up there. Now she's made a little nest in the bottom of her cage where she can watch Hanta in her cage. She occasionally goes to the bars to sniff at her and sometimes bites at the bars, I suppose in frustration or anxiety or psychotic rage.

I had read about how it can be difficult to introduce a companion to an older gerbil (Bea is a few months old and considered older), but for some idiotic reason I chose to completly ignore that and just assume that some kind of Disney union would take place and we'd all be knocked into a diabetic coma with sheer cuteness of their new friendship. Not so. Now I surf the internet for tips on introduction and antipsychotic medication in gerbil doses. I don't want to have a dead gerbil, I also don't want two cages to clean. I'm giving then just a few weeks to get used to each other and then I'm going to get rid of one (most likely Bea will go live with B (I'll have to check if it's even legal to give a gay man a gerbil) and I'll get a companion for Hanta) if they can not live together. I want two gerbils, cute and cuddly and if I wait to long and they never accept each other (well really if Bea continues to be a sociopath) then I'll have the same issues with Hanta. So that's where it stands, Hanta Virus and Bubonic Plague are incompatible, but there is much hope that they can co-exist.