Pampered Chef Party Of Doom

So yeah, back to the Pampered Chef Party. Whysper took me and the Little People to Lady B’s for her Pampered Chef Party. I’m a total sucker for Pampered Chef stuff, actually ALL kitchen gadgety things really. I hadn’t been to a Pampered Chef party in a long time so I was excited to go and see all the new stuff they had to offer. Upon entering the party, the Little People made fast friends with the Pampered Chef consultant, bonding over their Polly Pocket dolls.

The party got underway and luckily the Consultant kept her talking to a minimum so as to allow us to try out all her neat gadgets. As she spoke I eyed something called ‘The Ultimate Slice & Grate’ or as I would soon learn ‘The Ultimate Finger Chopper’. I wanted to try it. It was one of the few items in the catalog that I had never tried out and damn I wanted to slice and grate! After the talking part was done, I made sure the Little People were involved in a non-lethal activity and headed to the kitchen for the sharp and pointy gadgets.

Upon spying my object of obsession I headed straight for it. I deftly grabbed a potato from the counter and attempted to put it onto the holder thingie. This was the first indication that I was not qualified to operate this item, I could not figure out exactly how to get the potato onto the holder thing the right way. Eventually (with the help of someone else) I got it attached and proceeded to grate that potato. Huzzah! Feeling a false sense of superiority over this gadget, I changed the blade from the grate blade to the deadly and super sharp SLICE blade. A fleeting feeling of foreboding and dread washed over me but was hastily replaced by childlike glee and utter abandon as I snagged another potato. Again I had trouble getting the vegetable onto the holder that’s (supposedly) designed to keep my digits safe and attached to my hand. Again, someone stepped into help my lameness and positioned my potato on the holder as I prepared to jump into danger with nary a thought to my safety. I awkwardly slid the potato down the board and deftly cut a large chunk of my thumb (through my damn nail) then turned to the hostess of the party and announced “I just cut myself.” Lady B got ointment and bandaids after I assured her that I was fine and proceeded to bleed into a paper towel. After maiming myself I was pretty much banned from any cutty-sharp type things. Probably for the best. Though I was now truly regretting that I had not taken off the dreadful chipped green nail polish prior to the party as now I quite certain that even holding the bottle of nail polish remover would cause me horrible burning pain.

Cabbage Patch showed her talent for chopping broccoli with the food chopper. And Super Girl showed her proficiency with the Citrus Press. I see a bright future in food service (and not McDonalds!) for them!

Anyway, my thumb is fine. It looks a little nasty, but it’s cool.