Let The Party Begin!

So, for the past month or so I’ve been building to the mother of all Anxiety Attacks. Now, well the journey is nearing an end. I seem to have reached my Anxiety Attack and I’m in full panic mode 24/7! Woohoo!

Yeah, no kidding. Today I reached a new high sometime in the afternoon when my brain started racing like a gerbil on speed. I don’t imagine I’ll be able to sleep more than 20 minutes at a stretch for the next week and that’s just fine. I have so much to do I can’t stop thinking about it! If I’m not working, I’m thinking about how I need to be working and that just leads to panicking about it. When I am working I’m thinking about how I need to get this done and I can hear an imaginary clock in my head just clicking away (which is actually not to bad considering it drowns out the voices I normally hear), when I’m sleeping my normally refreshing and enjoyable dreams are interrupted by thoughts of work and the rhythmic sounds of a sewing machine.

Even now as I sit here just a few feet from my sewing machine, I’m tortured by thoughts of what I should be doing (sewing) and how much (sewing) I have to do and how long it (the sewing) will take to finish and how I need to seriously forgo sleep so I can finish (sewing) it all. Well that and I’m also thinking about how I have somehow managed to pull a muscle in my chest and how when I move and it hurts I suddenly get all mental and think “Maybe I’m having a heart attack!”, but I know that’s not happening, it’s just that I’m having this total anxiety attack and I just am not thinking straight, in fact really I probably didn’t even pull a muscle, I probably just have my bra on to tight and I’m to addled in the head to realize it’s crushing my ribs and cutting the circulation off to my brain and more importantly my boobs, which I don’t really need to do anything at all to cause to get SMALLER – dear sweet holy Moses, please don’t let my already small boobies get smaller! Oh... um… what?

So yeah, I’m a little insane at the moment. It’s fine. I just need some coffee… and some sugar… and to scrounge through the pantry to see if maybe there are some antidepressants left over from a few years ago. No worries, I’ll finish, I’ll regain sanity, it’ll all be over soon. No, no, don’t tell me how many days until then… that’ll just make it worse, just send me coffee.