Drinkin’ Gin n’ Juice From A Sippy Cup

Actually it’s not gin… gin is a nasty, nasty liquid to have to get drunk on. It’s something much nicer and probably a bit more potent – Loki! But it is in a sippy cup.

* We Interrupt THIS Post As The CHILD Has Remembered To Ask About HOW BABIES ARE MADE! Yikes! I thought she FORGOT about that! No fair! I JUST now started to DRINK! Back to my drunken ramble after I educate my offspring and scar myself for life.*

Okay, I’m back and it only took half a drink and a few Google searches to give her an answer that wouldn’t make my brain hemorrhage. Hopefully the explanation involving alien abduction and probes will hold her for a couple more years.

Toilet of Doom…

(I’m moving on to another subject because I totally forgot what I was writing about due to the trauma of explaining how babies come into existence to my first born, so let’s move on…)

One day last week after I had spent most of the day helping D move, I returned home in the wee hours of the morning only to walk into my room and find squishy carpet in front of my bathroom. Fuck I said as I tried to figure out HOW my carpet got so damn wet. Fuck I said as I screamed angrily for towels and an explanation as to the wet carpet. *&^%$#@!@#?!?!^&$@# is what I said when I realized I could blame not my Tiny Terrorists nor my gay husband but only the gawd forsaken TOILET OF DOOM! So here I was at 1 am with all the towels in my home thrown on my carpet to try to soak up the water therein. Apparently the fucking toilet had overflowed and no one noticed it. Damn it, I need to perform another voodoo ritual in the bathroom! EVILNESS is CLOGGING my pipes! Er… the toilet’s pipes… and not totally clogging them, just making the toilet act funny. I hate that toilet.