I Am Satan
Just ask the Tiny Terrorists. I am Satan and THIS is the house of TORTURE. Being a sadistic omnipresent individual as I am, I have devised an especially torturous task for the Tiny Terrorists. WRITING THANK YOU NOTES! *Sounds of screams by tortured souls, then the sound of whips*
The writing of the thank you notes has taken HOURS and has amassed one of the offspring 4 days of grounding off the Wii. (The other progeny smartly got with the program early on and managed to gain 3 days off her grounding. She's such a suck up at times.)
So to all of you who will be on the receiving end of the torture induced Thank You Notes, please be aware - they were NOT in fact written in the blood of small children (namely the ones who were writing them) nor were any means of restraint actually used (though duct tape was considered) and definitely no physical pain was inflicted (unless you count the throbbing headache I have now). YES, YES there was much writing under duress and LOTS of threats to make the writing happen, but I assure you EVERY FUCKING LETTER in these Thank You Notes are full of deep and heartfelt sentiment. EVERY FUCKING LETTER. REAL EMOTION. Mine and all of them somewhat hostile and directed at my progeny, but what the fuck, it's true emotion from the heart.
And now for...
I love HELLO KITTY! (She doesn't talk back to me)