But It's Useful!

Last night my husband was having an out of mind experience. He came home and told me he knew what he was going to get me for a present - SHOES! Now I LOVE shoes and the thought of getting shoes could make me smile even if you had just shaved my cat bald (ok... That would probably be somewhat funny on it's own), but I had a FEELING that I needed to ask more about these shoes. So I asked the important question right up front "Are they pretty?" he said no... This is how the conversation went:

Him: But they are supposed to be the most comfortable shoes...
Me: (cutting him off) But are they pretty?
Him: Just think of how nice it will be to come home after a long day on your feet and how great they will feel!
Me: Are we talking orthopedic shoes? Old people shoes? What do I look like? Why do I want Ugly Shoes???
Him: Your feet will feel like they've been massaged - even after your long day on your feet!
Me: (starting to think he was brainwashed by the shoe manufacturer) Why... Do... I... Want... Ugly... Shoes?
Him: but they are comfortable! Someone at the meeting had them on and were just raving about how comfortable they are!
Me: Why do you want to buy me ugly shoes?
Him: Because they are useful?
Me: Since when have you ever bought me a present because it was useful?
Him: (thinking) um.. Never
Me: And what makes you think that after 11 and a half years you should change this? Don't buy me ugly shoes. Buy me pretty, shiny, funny... But not ugly shoes.

(later after looking up the shoes on the internet) Me:Shit! Those are UGLY!
Him: But they are comfortable
Me: Yeah and they cost $169 for ugly!
Him: Yikes! You're not getting the shoes.

Men need a 'shopping for women' class sometimes.