Damn The Other Grandparents!!
Or What An Incredibly Shallow Bitch I Am.

So K has been finalizing plans with his family regarding our X-mas get together. This means gift exchange. *sigh* This usually means more crappy toys for my offspring. This year at the annual Thanksgiving thing the grandparents requested ideas on what to get for my offspring. I generally ask that people NOT get my progeny toys as the house already looks like I've robbed a toy store. I rattled off a list of acceptable DVDs to get for the kids. I did this as last year Grandpa H managed to give the progeny the most horrible and horendously awful gifts - two talking books (one that expecially annoying purple fiend) and a DVD *"the Great Longneck Migration". Now the real bitch as far as awful presents is that KIDS LOVE THEM! If you as a parent have the urge to jab red hot spoons in your ears every fucking time you hear it (because they are always noisy), then your offspring will LOVE it. And by love I mean play with it to the exclusion of everything else, I mean drag it everywhere they go, I mean hold on to it for dear life every time you even attempt to take it away (for a moment's peace and to make it 'disapear'), I mean they will take it to bed with them for safe keeping, I mean they use it drive the very last particle of sanity out of your very being, that kind of LOVE (obsession).

The list I gave was short and included things I KNEW I could tolerate and one thing I absolutly LOVE. I listed Barbie movies (which do suck but I can ignore and it totally mesmerizes them for about 15 - 20 minutes) and Shrek 2 (I figured asking for Spiderman 2 would be to obvious that it was for me and not them). K spoke to his father and his father told him that he had purchased a Barbie movie and some jacked up baby genius DVDs. WHAT????? No SHREK 2?!?!?!? What on earth does my child NEED to learn at this point that she can't get from Shrek 2??? Really???

First the grandparents on my side send a box full of packing peanuts cleverly disguised as packing for a few toys (but I know it was just to mess up my living room!!!) and now the other doesn't come trough with Shrek 2???? What is wrong with them??? (really and truely the wee ones have wanted Shrek 2 since they saw it in the theater, so it's NOT just me) Just for that I am going to photo copy my ticket and give it to them with a note telling them to contact the Plano Police dept for their present as that's where the pressie money went. (not really, K won't let me do that!)



* 'The Great Longneck Migration' is one of the worst childrens movies ever made. I am appaled and disgusted that James Garner is so down on his luck that he actually did a voice in this piece of crap. This movie does however explain why the dinos became extinct. Seems that all of the plant eaters were sappy, emotional, whiney, irritating and tended to break out into a song and dance routine at the drop of a hat making them easy prey for the less sappy, emotional and not at all whiney or musically inclined preditors.