Near Jail Experience


Sometimes I tempt fate/karma/destiny and I don't even know it. Last night as we drove through Plano to go to the freaking Super Target (we had a gift card and figured we'd buy some overpriced groceries there and save our cash) I told K about how I felt a tad guilty because I had sold a package to a couple for $94 but I should have talked them into buying the $89 package instead as they would have gotten more and would have saved a few dollars. As I start this story and how my sad sales for yesterday were probably my karmic pay off for that, I pull up to a red light right next to a Plano police car. Heh, great. My cars stickers are expired. AND as some people know I'm driving around with a suspended drivers license. As luck would have it we catch the very next red light as does the police car. Damn. I hope I haven't gotten his attention but I'm fairly certain I have when he pulls behind my car and follows me for the next couple of blocks. K is turning red in the passenger seat as his blood pressure goes up. When I turn on my blinker to turn into a shopping center the officer turns on the Christmas lights and I'm officially being pulled over. As I park the car I tell K to calm down it's not a big deal and he feels the neccessity to remind me of the fact that driving on a suspended license is an arrestable offense - he didn't need to remind me of that, it had already flashed through my mind (like right when I saw the police car). I joked that it was a damn good thing I was wearing make-up and dressed nice as I'd hate to have a crappy mug shot. He didn't think I was funny.

The nice officer explained that he pulled me over because of my expired stickers and took my license - I offered him my ID as well saying "It has a better picture" which made him smile so I figured my chances of suffering police brutality on the way to jail were pretty low.

I continued to alternately joke about going to jail and reassure K that the sky was not in fact falling as the nice officer sat in his car with my identification (both license and ID) and pondered exactly how many offenses he could put on the ticket and I suppose wrestle with his conscience on whether to traumatize a couple of wee children by handcuffing mom and carting her off to jail in front of them. K didn't even laugh once, I was giving him my BEST stuff and not even a smile. *sigh*

Luckily for me they weren't filming an episode of C.O.P.S. so the nice officer just gave me a hefty ticket, asked me if I'd recieve notification of my suspended license - which I said NO, and it wasn't a lie as I have never gotten notification,(though I was prepared to lie my ass off if he had asked if KNEW about my license being suspended), he explained that it was (which I knew) and that I could go to jail for driving with a suspended license (which I also knew) and that he wasn't going to take me to jail (whew!) since it was so close to Christmas (I didn't bother to mention I'm Jewish) and I thanked him and was thankfull at that moment I didn't live in LA. :o)

After the whole ticket incident I needed a nice strong drink - thank goodness there was a Starbucks in the store. (no booze in the store, damn it!)

So now I have 10 days to take care of things. That's 10 days to figure out how exactly to whore myself out to make enough money to pay my ticket. Any suggestions???

*Note - if you feel the neccessity to tell me how I should have taken care of the stickers on my car or my suspended license, please just keep that to yourself as I already know that and really don't need to hear the obvious - I'd call my relatives if I needed to hear that one! No criticism, just sympathy (or silence) or else I'll send a band of Angry Albino Sock Monkies to your house to preform their ancient and evil Monkey Magic and curse your underwear drawer to be perpetually infested with psychotic gerbils. Now have a nice day.*