Avoidance, Life’s Best Lesson

With dog sitting comes the happy little task of walking said dog so that it doesn't take a crap in the house. I just returned from that lovely task, I of course took the Little People with me as they are home and gawd knows they are so in love with this dog they are still in full on stalker mode and therefore that means they want to be near the dog even during the most unpleasant parts of the dogs life, like when she’s trying to take a crap. I would not be surprised if this dog files for a restraining order by Saturday.

ANYWAY after the dog does her ‘business’ in the wooded area next to the creek (place strategically chosen by me as to make the picking up of steaming piles of dog poo unnecessary), we walk further down the sidewalk before heading back toward home. During the walk I continually tell the Tiny Terrorists to NOT walk in the grass, that’s where the dog just went poo. Right after the third time I tell Cabbage Patch to stay on the sidewalk because dogs poo there Super Girl yells “Cabbage Patch! You got something on your shoe!” … yes, you know what it was. Dog Shit. Damn it. The rest of the conversation went like this:

Me: ohhhh… damn. Wipe your boot in the grass. No like this! No, like THIS! Look at me! Like THIS!
Super Girl: EWWWWWWW!!!! Dog poo!
Coco: Arf! Arf!
Cabbage Patch: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh! *running on ahead*
Me: Cabbage Patch! Stop! Stop! Now!
Super Girl: EWWWWWW!!!! She stepped in DOG POO!
Coco: Arf! Arf!
Cabbage Patch: Aaaaaahhhhhhh! *running in circles now*
Me: Stop! Now wipe your foot on the grass. No, the grass! NO… THE… GRASS. Right HERE.
Super Girl: EWWWWWWW!!!! DOG POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Coco: Arf! Arf!
Cabbage Patch: Aaaaahhhhh!!! *running towards home*
Me: Stop! Wait! Fine. Take your boots off at the door! Did you hear me? TAKE YOUR BOOTS OFF AT THE DOOR!

The whole time I’m considering just setting the boots on fire but knowing that’s just a little extreme and stupid since these boots are her FAVORITE foot wear currently (aside from the monkey flip flops, but it’s a tad too cold for flip flops these days) and she can get them on with NO help from me. But they have DOG SHIT on them and that makes me NEVER EVER want to see them again. Hell I’ve been known to throw away shoes after stepping in dog shit, but these are THE BOOTS. Shit. Dog shit. So I just demand that the boots come off before I even unlock the door and after settling them in to adore the dog, I take the Clorox Clean Up spray out and spray about half of it on the bottom of the shoe, I plan to do that several more times today and will probably leave the boots outside tonight and a final spray of cleaning stuff before I allow them back in the house. I know that I’m probably going to be haunted by phantom poop smell every time I see the boots though, so they ultimately may need to be burned for my sanity. Ewwww! Dog poo!

But on the bright side, my child has now learned a valuable life lesson: It's wise to side step the piles of shit.