Reality Is Strange

I'm sitting here not going to work, wasting time on the internet with 7 tabs open and I look up and see that one of them says '12" BASKET OF ASS...' Yeah, just what every woman should be able to order online.

Fortune for today:
Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily.

I have no fucking clue about that, it was in my fortune cookie though.