Friday, August 10, 2007

MY Birthday Wish List

Since my birthday is Saturday and I'm sure MOST of you have waited until the last minute to shop for the occasion, I thought I'd make it slightly easier and put out a LIST of appropriate and most desired gift items.


The Super Hot Bread Delivery Guy from my store. This boy is a genuine MANSICLE and believe me he is EXACTLY what any woman would need on a hot summer day. Tight muscled body, a multitude of artful and tasteful tattoos, fabulous smile, shaved head and he's really nice! Sounds perfect, right? YES! So someone do me a favor and kidnap him for my birthday, he's very nice, just mention it's a temporary thing and it's for my birthday and he probably won't fight to much – which is good, I'd hate for him to have rope burn or be all tired out before I got him! Oh and don't drug him! I want him all peppy and full of energy upon arrival – I don't want to spend most of my time waiting for him to become conscious then explaining why he'd be naked in my bed room with comfortable restraints. So yeah, him and some whipped cream.

Super Sexy Geeky Comic Book Guy. Super sexy, fabulous eyes, great smile, shaved head (is that a theme for me?), sharp wit. Same rules as above – him and some whipped cream.

Vin Diesel. If I have to elaborate then you are dead. Same rules apply for him also. Mmmmm him and some whipped cream.

Bruce Willis - Oh damn, Mr. Die Hard himself. Same rules, him, LOTs of whipped cream locked in my bedroom.

Any combination of the above mentioned Mansicles. All four, three, just two, only one… whatever, you get the picture… or not… it's MY BIRTHDAY FANTASY, so stop thinking about it! (unless you are any of the mansicles listed above… then think about it… a lot… and call me.)

A new car. No not THIS, but I'd love THIS. Yes really, I've always wanted a hippy mobile minus the smelly hippys.

Some new TOYS would be lovely. And by TOYS I think you all know I mean BOBs (Battery Operated Boyfriends). THIS would be lovely or THIS or even THIS except I don't have an iPod so you'd have to buy one to go with it. (Links on side bar will help you shop for theses items!)

Rechargable Batteries. One woman can not have too many of these. ;) And if I kept them all charged all the time, then K wouldn't get pissed at me for stealing the batteries out of the TV remote. Oh Pu-lease, I have NEEDS, I won't be denied!

A new BOOK! I'm dieing for a copy of Stardust by Neil Gaimen (actually just about anything by him). And as long as you get me that, you might want to give me about 4 kid free quiet hours to read said book, k? Thanks!

A maid. Male, scantily clad with a totally hot body. He doesn't have to speak English, just clean well and look GOOD at it. And cook, he need to be able to cook. (dude, I can't find photos of that on the net so maybe they are like the Easter Bunny and Open Minded Republicans – just a myth!)

Starbucks. Coffee is ALWAYS the right answer.

Okay, you have the list now GO! GO! Out Shopping! Show your love for me with GIFTS!*

*notedon't buy me presents! Just tell me happy birthday. ;) Don't spend money on me!

Of course… if you DID happen to get any of the mansicles for me, I certainly wouldn't turn them away – I mean not after all that effort and all that would just be rude.

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