Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My Love For A Dog

And I’m not talking about Coco the Wonder Dog, I’m speaking of the dog I loved all through my childhood. That would be Scooby Do. I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t love that huge talking dog. And now that I have offspring, I’m delighted to discover that Scooby has a career once again. Yes, yes there are NEW Scooby Do episodes. And yes they are just as cheesy as the originals (Fred doesn’t sport the ever so gay ascot anymore thankfully).

I remember fighting for TV time with my sister because I HAD to watch Scooby and she wanted to watch some stupid education program. As if! Everyone knows a talking dog is more educational than some hippy kids’ show on public television!

And honestly, everything I need to know, I learned from Scooby Do. Let me show you.

1. Always align yourself with smart friends. Everyone must have a Velma in his or her lives.

2. Friends with a badass ride rock. In the event of no badass ride, go for the ones with the hippy van and a gas card.

3. Beware the pretty bimbo and her boyfriend. They always manage to find trouble!

4. Despite what the group may say, you should always trust the dog’s judgment. If the dog runs, you run.

5. Bargaining, always demand a reward for anything you do. Scooby Snacks rock!

6. Have a plan. A stupid plan is better than no plan at all. (I actually learned that from Captain Simian.)

7. Expect the plan to not go as planned (see Danger Prone Daphne and boyfriend).

8. Abandoned theme parks ROCK! Oh and they are always inhabited by ghost and aliens.

9. ALWAYS go with the talking dog. You may not solve the mystery, but you’ll have more fun and there is likely to be snacks involved. Besides, a talking dog is COOL!

10. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Especially if you are trapped in an abandoned mine shaft full of aliens guarding some plutonium.

11. You won’t go to jail for breaking and entering if you are with a group of friends and act like you are solving a mystery.

12. All bad people wear masks. Practice taking them off people.

13. Never lose your glasses! Jinkies!

14. Never trust Old Man Jenkins!

And this is the reason I’ve practically banned that annoying educational programming in favor of straightforward dog sense. Rooby, Rooby Do!

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