Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Letters To Anyone

Because, just because...

Dear Large Corporation;

Hi, how are you? Me? I'm good. I just want to ask WTF is your problem? No really WTF? Why are you phoning in orders for MANY MANY large cakes that you need the next morning? AND WHY are you doing this at 3 pm? Are you fucked in the head? No I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just curious as to why your head seems to be up your ass that's all. I really LOVE your business, I just really hate having to work until 7 pm or 8 pm two nights in a row to do rush orders for you. 

So anyway, in the spirit of the holidays, I just want to ask you to pull your head out of your ass. 

Your friend the cake decorator,


Dear Computer of Mine;

Why do you hate me? WHY won't you START? I've been soooooooo good to you! I loves you sooooo much! Why do you deny me my internet addiction?!?!?!?!?!

PLEASE GET BETTER! I'll bring you virtual chicken soup!

Sadly Suffering;

Dear Other Jews In My Neighborhood;

You bought my cake! Which is GOOD, but BAD since I had actually made that cake for ME. Yes, yes I know, my bad for putting it in the display case, but I just didn't think anyone would buy my cake! So... where are you? Seriously you should come by and see me, I can't believe there are more than three of us in the city. 


Dear Cats;


Disgruntly yours,

ps stop waking me up in the middle of the night!

Moving on...

I got BUSINESS CARDS yesterday! They say Cake Decorator and 'Specializing in the Artistry of Cake Decorating'. I fucking LOVE that!  I know, I know, I'm easily amused. 

No cake photos today, maybe later.  Off to go take a shower! 

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