Thursday, March 25, 2004

Area 51
(AKA My Aquarium)

The disappearance of Balder has prompted a high level government investigation. Currently the area has been taped off and only authorized personal are being allowed in (which includes me since I feed the damn fish). The official statement is that there is no statement to be made, that there is no unusual occurrences and there is no unusual disappearance of fish from the area. I’m not sure I believe this but that’s what they keep telling me. The rumors are much more entertaining. These are the theories of what has happened to Balder:

1. There exists a sort of Bermuda Triangle in the tank. This would explain the odd disappearance of not only Balder but also of Ran.

2. Balder was taken by Aliens for strange experiments and will be returned to the tank in a matter of days to years. Upon his return he will have an odd wide eyed expression on his face constantly, will want to wear tin foil on his head, be very skittish and talk of anal probes and tracking devices implanted in his body.

3. It was a mafia hit. K works for a company owned by Italians so I think this one is VERY possible.

4. Heimdall thinks his name is really Loki and he murdered Balder (read up on Norse mythology for that one).

5. The other fish in the tank are organized crime and whacked Balder so now he sleeps with the fishes. HAHAHAHAHAHA! He’s a fish… sleeps with the fishes… heh… it was funny to me.

6. Sunshine (the cat) has developed thumbs that she is keeping hidden under her fur and took the lid off the aquarium, grabbed Balder and put the lid back on.

I’m not sure about any of these, they all seem equally plausible. If you have any theories on the disappearance, please, let me know.

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