10 Years

Oddly enough today is my 10 year anniversary. 10 years is a long time. K and I have been together as a couple for nearly 13 years (we dated for almost 9 months before we got engaged, 2 years of engagement and now 10 years of marriage) we've known each other for almost 18 years.

Year 10 is the Tin/Aluminum (traditional) or Diamond (modern). Tin or aluminum? What is this the recycling anniversary?

We considered celebrating tonight but scratched the idea as our respective boyfriends are busy. *sigh* (heh, and you think I'm joking)

10 years of being married to a gay man have not been bad really. He's a wonderful man, very smart, funny, patient and fun to be with. He's also a wonderful father and friend. B is lucky to have such a nice man as a boyfriend (I've trained K well - still more training needed, that is B's job now though).

I was a little hesitant about even mentioning our anniversary this year. It's been about three years since we decided to stop pretending to be a straight couple with a straight marriage. It's also been about three years since we resented each other, lied to each other or hurt each other deeply with our words or actions (inactions also). When we decided to be honest about ourselves and each other our relationship improved more than it ever had in the 4 years of on and off marriage counseling. I no longer felt the compulsion to be angry and disappointed with him and he no longer felt guilty and ashamed of himself. We have learned a lot in the past three years. We've been through a lot in the past 13 years together. Some good, some bad, all of it interesting. He's always been there for me, my best friend and confidant. We have always made better friends than lovers (not that the sex was bad, just not fabulous - no slight against him, he did a damn fine job considering he's gay).

To my husband;

The past 10 years have been an adventure to say the least, I'm glad you were by my side through all of it, the good and the bad.

We've laughed together, cried together and shared joys and fears. The birth of two beautiful daughters and the struggles of parenthood have added plenty of laughter, tears, joy and fears that I'm thankful to share with you. We make a great team.

One day I know we will part ways as husband and wife as you go on to be a husband to someone else and I a wife to another man. I hope to be there next to you as you take that next step in your life and I promise to always stand by you no matter what.

Dear husband of mine, thank you for 10 years.

Much love my dear friend,

Judy