Coffee and Terror
Or
The Morning of Living Dangerously

A sure fire combo to wake one up! Ya know it's almost a shame to post after putting up all the cool photos. So I'll make it brief - instead of putting up one long post about what a fabulous weekend I had, I'll just post something interesting every so often. Today will be the perilous tale of coffee in the back of Lerxst vehicle. *cue dramatic music*

So the arangement was for me to ride with Lerxst and Sable to Scarby. I woke at a godforesaken time of 5 am (to finish some shit) and arrived at Lerxst's at 7:30 am. We left about 8 am and headed to pick up Denise. After getting Denise, those in the front of the vehicle decided to stop in a drive through to grab a quick breakfast. As I had already eaten I only requested a large coffee with sugar and cream - ya see, I discovered at 5 am that fine morning that I was completly out of sweetner for my coffee. I can drink it minus cream but not without sweetner, so this would be my FIRST cup of the day. The last item handed back in the vehicle was the big cup of scalding hot coffee. A moment of clairity came and went quickly for me. After getting said coffee I thought "I need to ask Lerxst to park for just a moment while I get my coffee ready." and as I said it just went out my fucking head as I didn't say a damn thing. Now let me pause from this tale for a moment to make a note regarding Lerxst driving. It's fast and somewhat scary. Yes scary, not hugly scary (if you are riding in the back and can't really see much) but scary - somewhere between bed-wetting and a near death experience. At one point the man was steering with his knee, speeding down 75 as he shaved his pretty little face with an electric razor. But I digress, back to me and my coffee.

Here I sit with a LARGE cup of HOT coffee and a handfull of sugar and creamer. My delima was how to get sugar and creamer into the cup without getting the contents of the cup on me. This seems simple, but it wasn't. My first few attempts resulted in hot coffee being sloshed on my hands and me not being able to get the sugar open. My next idea was to put the coffee between my legs and open the cup. Big mistake. Hot coffee between the legs is not very refreshing. Not a bit. So the next was to try to pour the sugar through the little drinking opening on the lid. Still, I was getting copious amounts of coffee on me and spilling sugar on my lap. Finally I stuck my cup back in the cardboard holder thingie sitting on the floor and poured as much sugar and cream in as I could. Then attempted to stir. When I mentioned later that I had lost one stirer in the coffee from all the jostling around, Denise and Sable laughed and ask why I even needed to stir with Lerxst driving. How true. We got to faire and I finished my cup of coffee and sucked the rest out of my chemise. It was just the start of a fabulous day.

I learn my lesson, no hot beverages when Lerxst is driving.