Waterless Wonders

Yesterday was Cabbage Patch's birthday. We hadn't planned to do anything to celebrate since she was scheduled to be with Grandma and GiGi - since she's 4 we figured we just wouldn't mention the B word and do a small party when she returned. The trip was pushed back to Monday of next week due to GiGi developing a kidney stone. Damn. Okay this started some vague conversations of WHAT we would do for her b-day - it was discussed to do nothing and stick with the PLAN of small party when she does return from Grandma's house. It seemed like a reasonable plan, but we had forgotten to figure in one small detail. A 6 year old sister who hears EVERY THING. She KNEW it was Cabbage Patch's birthday and By Gawd It Would Not Pass Unnoticed!

Okay fine. Yesterday I woke with the same freaking migraine I had gone to bed with - very bad to share a bed with a migraine, steals the covers and snores a lot. What fun. To make it that much more wonderful, the offspring woke in Tiny Terrorist mode and proceeded to wreck havoc on everything in sight. Lucky ME. I figured this would be an ideal time to SELF MEDICATE - (and by 'self medicate' I mean take some sinus medication and a handful of Tylenol NOT smoke a crack pipe and drop a hit of acid) and lay on the couch. Eventually K got tired of watching me cringe and squint every time someone made noise and took the Tiny Terrorists out to the pool. And that makes it sound like things were perfect right, me medicated on the sofa silently wishing my head would explode. But NO, it wasn't. It started threatening to storm and EVERYONE was back in my fucking living room. Thank heavens for naps.

After naps I discovered the city's water was on emergency restrictions and we were told not to use water. Okay... Fun. K and I decided that since both of the Tiny Terrorists now wanted a BIRTHDAY Celebration, we'd take them somewhere CHEAP. Then my real suffering started. We walked to the store because K reasoned "The fresh air will do your headache good and we'll save some gas". I doubted that walking in the hot humid outside would do anyone's head good but I couldn't argue about saving gas. The walk is exactly as I imagined, mostly miserable with a bit of horrible thrown in and enhanced by whining. As we walked back home and toward the Culvers it occurs to us that the eating establishments we were passing seemed oddly vacant... As in closed. Hmmm... City on emergency water use only... Maybe the restaurant are closed... um.. YEAH! Fuck. Time for Plan B. Back home amid much whining - even the kids were getting tired of my whining. K ran out (with Tiny Terrorists in tow) to get impromptu celebration supplies and bottled water (they said the water could be off for a few days at the worst).

magically when it came time for the cupcakes, the Tiny Terrorists transformed back into the lovable Little People, and luckily for me it was almost bed time for them.

So there, we all survived the Waterless Birthday. The End.