I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That!

The Little People are the most precious people in the world to me and I'd do just about anything for them, hell I'd even give them most of my internal organs just for the asking, but I have to draw the line somewhere. And that place has to be my BED! There is nothing I hate more than when one (or both) of the Little People decide that they need to sleep in my bed. I know, I know, I sound like a horrible mother and my nominations for "Mother of The Year" are being torn to shreds as I type this, but fuck I hate it. LUCKILY it seems to be a rare thing again, but for a few weeks there, it was EVERY DAMN NIGHT!

Let me explain why this drives me insane so very much. First, they usually decide to invade my personal space between 2 am and 4 am, when I'm quite asleep and not all that likely to haul my sleepy ass out of bed and drag them back upstairs to their room. Second, despite the fact that I have a king size bed, they insist on sleeping rightnexttome, and every inch I move away from them, they scoot next to me until I'm sleeping on 6 inches of mattress edge. Third, their freaking FATHER is UPSTAIRS!!! Why can they not knock on HIS door and wake HIM? Fourth, elbows and knees and little feet. Specifically the ones that are whacking me in the face, kicking me in the back, making it impossible for me to get a decent night's sleep!

So offspring of mine, NO MORE! Do not ask to sleep in my bed anymore. I will gladly give you a kidney that I cut from my own body using my own sewing scissors and I'd even forgive you if you said you were just kidding as I stitched up my own incision, but I refuse to give up my freaking pillow! Next time you are tired of sleeping in your own bed, you had best head into your daddy's room or make yourself comfee on the sofa. Mamma needs her sleep, sometimes coffee just isn't enough to keep me going.