Now With Better Cell Signal AND More Toll Boths!

So have you missed me? Internet, I have missed you so dearly, it’s been sad. It’s not that I haven’t BEEN here staring at you and letting you suck me into your net that wastes all my time and sucks out my will to do anything other than just sit here and spend all of my time with you, but the truth is Internet, I have a fucking life and just haven’t had time for you. No really, it’s true. I’ve been busy Internet, I still LOVE you, I’m just BUSY. And about to get EVEN busier as I’m starting FAIRE sewing this week. WOOHOO! So yeah… if you are wanting to get me to be your bitch… er… sewing bitch that is, now is the time to get with me. E-mail me or call me or what the fuck ever.

Baby, What’s Yo Digits?

My cell is back up. I’m so pissed at myself at this moment because I actually MISSED my cell when it was down. Damn you D for getting me all hooked on the cell. I missed it most this weekend when I use it most. I didn’t have it to call anyone on Friday while driving to the club. AND most of all I didn’t have it to call people while driving between hospitals! DAMN! I’m sorry Jovan, I WOULD have called you to hear of your latest adventures (sorry I didn’t answer last night, I just didn’t hear it driving home, I had the music up to damn loud and was in a weird place in my head anyway, feel free to call again and we’ll discuss your most recent sleazy activities at great lengths), Gamer Boy, I would have called you too… probably woke you up, but whatever… and anyone else who’s phone number I have, I certainly would have called you on Saturday, BUT I couldn’t, I was cock blocked from my cell and I suffered from it. Fucking phone companies wanting their payments and shit. Fuckers! But I digress… the cell is live again, feel free to call me. ;)

Nail Polish Problems

Today is a holiday for Super Girl, gawd-help-me. These are days I want to call the city and ask just WHERE my tax dollars are going? Haven’t I had to pay school taxes since I moved here? How is my tax money going to a good education for my offspring if she’s home with me today? I mean, FUCK I know about the only thing this kid has learned today is that mommy is listening to some music that has the word BITCH in it and that mommy will throw away Pikachu if I fucking see it on the floor one more damn time. Anyway… again, I digress… I let the offspring take a bath so I can have just 20 freaking minutes of peace without having to hear them scream my name or me having to trip over the little yellow electric rat. While they bathe happily (read: splash around like maniacs until every square inch of bathroom floor is saturated with bathwater) I pick up my FAVORITE bottle of OPI red nail polish. Last week when my sister was over she tried to get it open but couldn’t, I had tried to get it open earlier that day and couldn’t either so I did a French manicure and just didn’t worry about it. Today I figured I’d see if I could get it open and I did, BUT… I broke the damn bottle! Yeah, I broke off the part with the threads. POP! It just broke off. I was just going to see if I COULD get it open, I wasn’t ready to paint my nails but at that moment, I realized that I’d have to paint them RIGHT THEN or risk the bottle getting nasty and dried out or worse having the tiny terrorist discover the state of it’s openness and using it to paint cryptic and evil runes of control on the kitchen cabinets. In between checking on the offspring in the bathwater and painting my nails, I managed to spill nail polish on my favorite leopard print night gown and on my hands. So much for the Tiny Terrorists making the messes. And at this very moment, my manicure looks like complete ass! So whatever. At least I wasn’t coloring my hair or something like that.

Toll Booth Boogie

I’ve been traveling the toll roads a lot lately and I’m SHOCKED and appalled at that. I’ve been spending enough in tolls lately that I could have had two tall Caramel Frappichinos from Starbucks this past weekend. Really! Can you believe that? My money going to pay tolls and not for overpriced coffee drinks. It’s cool though, so far it’s been worth it – I HAVE gotten coffee at my destination. But ya know, that just makes me think that maybe the toll authority needs to change how they do toll booths. They should do them like they do our sports and event arenas in the area, they should allow corporate sponsorship of toll booths. Krispe Kream could sponsor one, Starbucks another, Smirnoff Vodka the next set, Coke after that… And they could offer special toll tags that would charge you for a frappichino and a toll, a donut and a toll, a drink and a toll, you get the idea. I think I’d be less pissy driving the toll roads if I actually thought my money was going for something worthwhile – like coffee.

Well I need to go to the store with the Tiny Terrorists before they zip my cat up in a backpack again.

MORE later! I’ll tell you about the horrifying Snatchsquatch! Too much CAKE! And shopping in SEG’s closet.