Thursday, March 09, 2006


I’m not dead, I’m just not getting online and when I am online I’m not visible and I’m not writing any pithy or witty or interesting because I’m not in that mood. I’m just here kind of crouched in the corner of the internet, watching but not being seen. Why? Fuck if I know. Maybe I need Prozac. Take up a collection, send me fun drugs. Or Coffee. And hot men.

Spring Break

Who’s this break for anyway? How I hate school holidays. Where exactly are my tax dollars going if my kid has a week out of every month off?? Well not quite, but it SEEMS like that. Year round school, that’s what I’m pulling for.Anyway, tomorrow starts my misery… er.. Spring Break! Tomorrow I’m looking forward to sleeping in, yet I can almost guarantee that one or both of the Tiny Terrorists will be up at or before 6:30 am making my life hell. Yea team. Last night they were in rare form. I suppose in preparation for the upcoming madness. Perhaps just because they were possessed by demonic spirits. Could be that they were being controlled by alien beings out to make my life hell. More likely they were just being BAD because their father wasn’t home. Yes. Lucky me. K had a test of some sort of useless mathematical shit to take and I had to use the whips and chains to subdue Chaos and Destruction as I threatened to remove their very existance from public record and memory just like the KGB. My threats and pleas were barely noticed as they continued their mission of terror. They were finally in bed a mere 10 minutes prior to K arriving home (an hour after he had told me to anticipate his arrival) after the 10 minutes of whineing and crying because of my steadfast refusal to walk up the stairs to tuck them in. I know, I’m such an ogre. Fuck off, my ankle is better but it still hurts to walk up and down stairs.

Coffe, Tea or Insanity?

Last night I didn’t make it out of the house early enough to make it to karaoke so Porn Star, Kermit and I went to Wally World then off to IHOP for coffee and insanity. We had three waiters last night. Shawn, Farm Boy and Smart Ass. It was fabulous. Shawn was training Farm Boy and Smart Ass was just being entertaining. We finally left as it was nearly 2 am (or was it after?) and Porn Star and I had consumed 3 pots of coffee between us. She swore she could feel her own heart beat and I knew I was about to vibrate into a parallel universe if I had even ONE more cup of coffee. All in all, a fabulous night.

Tasty Things and Not So Tasty Things

I had a Healthy Choice French Bread Pizza for lunch. Yuck. I didn’t enjoy it. But I bought it and since I spent the money it on it and it wasn’t just absolute ass, I had to eat it. Well that and the fact that we are out of bread, out of jelly, out of milk and I was just out of luck as far as lunch goes. It wasn’t very good Not very tasty.

But I did find something that is rather tasty. I found a tube of one of the Little People’s Lip Smacker lip gloss. It smells like cake frosting and makes me want to eat the whole tube, yet I know that it wouldn’t taste like fabulous cake frosting, probably just mildly sweet wax. Now I can’t stop thinking of cupcakes. I fear I may eat my lips by the end of the day.

Okay, I’m done. Shoo now. The burst of insanity is done. Move along, nothing to see here. Come back later and see if I’ve said anything impressive or witty or pithy… or if I’ve given in to my urge to eat the lip gloss and am hallucinating from the pretty sparkles in it.

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