Somebody Elses Shoes Please

This is how my day has gone so far...

Up a little after 7 AM to the sound of one whining toddler and a preschooler fighting over something. Higher powers only know what the hell they were fighting over and they may be the only ones who care either.
Me:"*Grumble* *grumble* What are you doing up already? And what are you fighting about?"
Them: "Maaaamaaa I want some chocolate milk... Maaamaaaa can we watch cartoons? Maaamaaa... Maaamaaaa"
Me: "Yes yes fine. Just a minute. What do you want for breakfast?"
Them: "Um... I dunno. Chocolate milk?"
Me: "I'm getting your milk. Breakfast, what do you want?"
Them: "Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... I dunno."
Me: "Here, take this to your sister." (handing one the cups of choco milk)
Them: "Thanks mom!" gallop off to watch cartoons
Me: Head to computer to check e-mail quickly
Them: 30 seconds into e-mail checking "Maaaamaaaa... I'm hungry"
Me: "What do you want?"
Them: "A popsicle!"
*Me: "No."
Them: "but... but.. but.. I waaaaaant one!"*
* (repeat conversation from * to * until you're almost brain dead then move on)
Them: "Waffles!"
Me: "OK" head to kitchen to make waffles
Them: "I want to help!"
Me: "OK"
**Them: "I can do it! Let me do it! Maaamaaa!"
Me: "No no not yet! Don't touch! Listen to me! Be careful - no not yet! If you can't listen to me you will have to leave. Stop fighting girls! Ok, that's good."**
** (repeat per instructions above)
45 minutes later.
Me: thinking "ok now I can fnish my e-mail"
Them: thinking "heh heh heh, now she's distracted, we can head upstairs and cause utter chaos!!! Bwhahahahahahaha!!!"
Me: every 5 or so minutes "Girls, what are you doing?!!"
Them: "Just playing!"
15 minutes later
Toddler comes down the stairs minus diaper.
Me: "where is your diaper? Oh no your poopy! Come here! You need a bath!"
Them: "Yay a bath!"
Me: "go into the bathroom now!"
Me: head off to get towels
Them: thinking "hehehehehe... just wait until she sees the chaos we have caused!"
Me: get bath started then run upstairs to find dirty diaper "Ahhhhhhh! what the hell happened in here?!"
Everything in the closet has been removed and scattred through out the bedroom - even things on the top shelf. Head down the stairs to the bathroom, "Girls, why did you..... Ahhhhh! What the hell happened in here?!?!" the bathroom floor is SOAKED, the girls were splashing and splashing. "*Grumble* *Grumble* Stop splashing! Get washed up and get out of the bath, I'm going to go get some towels, if I come back to you splashing YOU WILL NOT LIKE WHAT HAPPENS!" Leave to get towels
Them: laughing, high fiving, thumbs up "Bwhahahahahaha! Ahhh Partner in chaos, we have achieved our objective today. In less than 2 hours we have spread chaos through out 3 rooms in this domicile! It's not even close to lunch time! If we keep this up the maternal being will be ready to commit by the time the paternal being returns from his employment place. This is a good day indeed."

Thank God they aren't like this EVERY day... and THANK GOD for whoever decided to bottle and mass market Jack Daniels! Yeah I need a drink.

Disclaimer: The above mentioned events are a slight dramatization of what actually occured this morning... slight... and only a slight dramatization

And I still haven't gotten to my e-mail yet!