Friday, November 21, 2003

That's A Bitch

Sometimes parenting can be trying. A was recently writing about how hard it is to instill social graces in your offspring when you yourself seem to have none - something that I identify with quite a bit. I myself have a potty mouth, I do swear in front of my children - I'm not talking an endless stream of obscenities coming out of my mouth 24/7 but I do swear. My mother swore much worse than I did, and the many many disfunctional family members that surrounded me during my formative years swore horribly as well, and somehow I managed to not swear until I was a teenager - and never in front of my mother or other people older than me until I was nearly 20 (I remember the first time I swore in front of my mother I think I said Damn or Shit, then I realized my mother was within earshot so I froze expecting her to reprimand me but ishe didn't. So I waited for it... And it never came. A few days later I decided to sneak in another word - bitch. I said it in front of my mom and waited, again nothing. I think I was almost married when I worked up to FUCK in her presence).

Anyway, as most parents know, children are little sponges that absorb all information around them and then spit out randomly. If you WANT them to spit out a certain piece of information say to impress grandma or to look cute in the Holiday musical, then they will not do it, either intentionally or unintentionally - you have maybe a 20% chance of them actually doing exactly what you want. And as children get older your chances decrease. Conversely you have a 90% chance of that stray swear word or nasty phrase you uttered when you thought the child was out of the room/to busy playing/sleeping being repeated (loudly) in front of grandma/pastor/rabbi/teacher/etc. The first swear word Super Girl learned was 'shit' she heard it from either myself or her father. When she uttered it, she was in CHURCH and she said it LOUDLY. Lucky us. Now that she is nearly 5 we explain to her that certain words are grown up words and little kids are not to say them. This works usually, but not always as it's hard to assess the actually scope of her swear word vocabulary without exposing her to more or worse having her repeat them frequently. So you have to handle each incident as it happens and hope and pray that that particular swear word was the LAST one in her vocabulary... Although probably not. So two weeks ago the little people and I were walking to the post office as a car zoomed past us at far to fast to be going on the small road we were on. As the person passed I muttered something about them needing to slow the hell down and Super Girl said "Is that a bitch?" Words froze in my throat for a second, then I tried to steer the conversation a different direction. Super Girl listened at me with interested eyes then said "Was that a bitch?" So I was forced to confront the WORD head on. I started in with the 'That's a grown up word' schpeel and finished with the every popular comment 'Do you understand?' to which she replied Yes Ma'am then said "Momma, was that a bitch?" *sigh*

Kids. (Super Girl has not said the word since so don't start thinking I'm raising my kids to sound like little sailors)

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