Scary Feet! Scary Feet! Scary Feet!

Mine specifically. Yesterday after a shower I realized that my feet are absolutely fucking scary. And not just because of the horribly misshapen and bruised toenail on the left foot. I have awful calluses and I scar very easily. I heal lightening fast but guarantee a nice mark from just about anything. I have high arches so it’s hard to find shoes that fit perfectly. Something always rubs some part of my foot. This added to the fact that I scar so easily leaves my feet looking frightening. It takes almost nothing to make a callous or scar on me. Wearing new shoes one day – new pink patch on toe that will either become a callous or scar. Wearing old shoes I’ve worn a million times – add to callous already present on foot. No shoes – something will be dropped on foot to cause frighteningly disgusting bruise or cat will dash across naked feet with claws extended to cause horrible painful looking scar that will not fade for months on end. Think about new shoes – some part of foot will become irritated. My feet are scary. I could go on and on about this but I know it would bore you – I’m seriously self conscious about my feet, though I’d like a professional foot massage and pedicure I have always avoided such a thing as I fear what others think of my frightening calluses.

Anyway, I digress. I noticed my feet looked more atrocious than normal the other day. I also remembered two important things, I am attending a wedding on the 31st and plan to wear lovely black sandals and second I’m visiting XXX for a few days and don’t want to unintentionally permanently injure the man by my feet rubbing against him in the night. This called for action. I needed a good foot soak, pumice and some serious moisturizer.

As luck would have it I purchased a foot scrub and some serious foot moisturizer last week. While I bathed Cabbage Patch I sat on the edge of the tub and submerged my feet for a while. Now that my feet have been washed, sanded and moisturized I am wearing socks in the hopes of waking tomorrow to if not heavenly soft feet then at least normal looking non lethal feet.