Simply irresistible
The above photo prompted a man to send me an e-mail complimenting my breasts and expounding on his intents were I to be so taken by his sparkling personally and intelligence that shown through so very well in his written word. I'll copy and paste the aforementioned prose in a bit.
The photo above is probably one of my favorites (taken by Lerxst) because it's FUCKING FABULOUS! Thank the heavens above for a good bodice laced tight enough to GIVE ME GOOD BOOBAGE! I don't REALLY look like THAT. Check below for what I REALLY look like.
Dork
On any given day, the above DORK photo is what I will look like (probably even in that shirt). The boobs are well, not quiet so impressive. It's okay, it's fine... Occasionally I have the thought that it would be fantastic to wear a bodice ALL the time and look THAT good, but then reality strikes. It would be very good for dieting as it's almost impossible to eat more than 3 bites when laced up really well. Impractical for most things. It would be bothersome to have strangers in the grocery store offering to lick samples off my boobs and might even frighten my children. It might give me an advantage if stopped for speeding, but is somewhat uncomfortable to drive in. So a Dork I shall remain for everyday life and save the bodice enhanced breasts for special times.
So... Back to my fan mail. It arrived with the subject 'love those booooobss!!!' and went on to say:
you can have those delicious looking breast licked nad sucked until they sweel in my mouth along with your clitty getting licked and sucked until you cream and cummm all down my throat mommie!!!,,then you can get my thick fat hard strong 7 inch brownsuga dick to wlr your pink poopop ccocohie walls nice nad sloww as we make sweet romantic luvin...
As you can read, he's obviously an intellect with impeccable grammar and spelling. Only a truly creative mind could come up with "you can get my thick fat hard strong 7 inch brownsuga dick to wlr your pink poopop ccocohie walls nice nad sloww". Unfortunately I'm not entirely sure what he's planning to do with my "pink poopop ccocohie walls nice nad sloww" as I don't have a reference for "wlr" and have no clue what it could mean and how it could have anything to do with making "sweet romantic luvin". (to be honest he kind of lost me on the 'romantic luvin' when he called me 'mommie' and mentioned 'wlr'ing my 'pink poopop ccocohie walls' - none of the walls in my home are pink!)
I considered writing him back:
Dear Sir;
I'm deeply touched by your communication, I truly mean that, deeply touched... And not in a good way. Your confusing and badly spelled attempt at an erotic message has troubled me and disturbed me enough to need extra anti-psychotic medication. First off calling me 'mommie' is troubling, I find men who want to 'play baby' a turn off. Secondly your "thick fat hard strong 7 inch brownsuga dick", just won't do as I only consume Splenda, no sugar for me. Next what is 'wlr'? Is it legal? Would it hurt? Does it require tools? And why do you want to do it to my walls? Which I must add none of my walls are 'pink poopop ccocohie', I don't think I've ever even seen that color. And why do you want to mess with the walls in my home while you 'make sweet romantic luvin'? Please explain.
Judy
The above photo prompted a man to send me an e-mail complimenting my breasts and expounding on his intents were I to be so taken by his sparkling personally and intelligence that shown through so very well in his written word. I'll copy and paste the aforementioned prose in a bit.
The photo above is probably one of my favorites (taken by Lerxst) because it's FUCKING FABULOUS! Thank the heavens above for a good bodice laced tight enough to GIVE ME GOOD BOOBAGE! I don't REALLY look like THAT. Check below for what I REALLY look like.
Dork
On any given day, the above DORK photo is what I will look like (probably even in that shirt). The boobs are well, not quiet so impressive. It's okay, it's fine... Occasionally I have the thought that it would be fantastic to wear a bodice ALL the time and look THAT good, but then reality strikes. It would be very good for dieting as it's almost impossible to eat more than 3 bites when laced up really well. Impractical for most things. It would be bothersome to have strangers in the grocery store offering to lick samples off my boobs and might even frighten my children. It might give me an advantage if stopped for speeding, but is somewhat uncomfortable to drive in. So a Dork I shall remain for everyday life and save the bodice enhanced breasts for special times.
So... Back to my fan mail. It arrived with the subject 'love those booooobss!!!' and went on to say:
you can have those delicious looking breast licked nad sucked until they sweel in my mouth along with your clitty getting licked and sucked until you cream and cummm all down my throat mommie!!!,,then you can get my thick fat hard strong 7 inch brownsuga dick to wlr your pink poopop ccocohie walls nice nad sloww as we make sweet romantic luvin...
As you can read, he's obviously an intellect with impeccable grammar and spelling. Only a truly creative mind could come up with "you can get my thick fat hard strong 7 inch brownsuga dick to wlr your pink poopop ccocohie walls nice nad sloww". Unfortunately I'm not entirely sure what he's planning to do with my "pink poopop ccocohie walls nice nad sloww" as I don't have a reference for "wlr" and have no clue what it could mean and how it could have anything to do with making "sweet romantic luvin". (to be honest he kind of lost me on the 'romantic luvin' when he called me 'mommie' and mentioned 'wlr'ing my 'pink poopop ccocohie walls' - none of the walls in my home are pink!)
I considered writing him back:
Dear Sir;
I'm deeply touched by your communication, I truly mean that, deeply touched... And not in a good way. Your confusing and badly spelled attempt at an erotic message has troubled me and disturbed me enough to need extra anti-psychotic medication. First off calling me 'mommie' is troubling, I find men who want to 'play baby' a turn off. Secondly your "thick fat hard strong 7 inch brownsuga dick", just won't do as I only consume Splenda, no sugar for me. Next what is 'wlr'? Is it legal? Would it hurt? Does it require tools? And why do you want to do it to my walls? Which I must add none of my walls are 'pink poopop ccocohie', I don't think I've ever even seen that color. And why do you want to mess with the walls in my home while you 'make sweet romantic luvin'? Please explain.
Judy
I would send that... But I'm quite certain that the sarcasm would be lost on my intellectually gifted and creative fan.
*Update*
Apparently that photo only attracts men who have difficulty with grammar and spelling, I just received yet another piece of fan mail and it was woefully misspelled and painfully badly written. The crime of stupidity is one I simply can not forgive. Bitchy? Why yes I am.
*Later Update*
The count is up to THREE now. This time he's ARTICULATE and can SPELL.
What the hell is up today? Am I MAN NIP today? *thinks to self 'I better go knock on the door of Mansicle Neighbor and hope his wife isn't home!'
*Much Later Update*
The best line in a message so far: very nice smile and yes very nice rack. I'm sorry just have to give credit, ya know. Yeah, I'm totally eating it up. I must thank Lerxst for taking the extremely RARE and AMAZING photo of me looking so damn HOT.
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