Why I Should Be On Prozac – or Why My Life Sucks!
I’m currently on the edge of either being really, really happy or falling into a pit of despair and depression. It sucks really. I’m not so good with all the touchy-feely emotional relationship stuff. Sex, that I’m good at. The emotional stuff makes me all uncomfortable and nauseous. I don’t like that feeling of not being in control of my feelings but here I am, crazy about someone and completely uncertain about how they feel. I hate this. I mean I really DO enjoy the wonderful, giddy feeling when I hear from this person. I love how flower petals fall from the sky and the tiny little cartoon birds show up to sing. Then of course there’s that crazy roller coaster feeling in my stomach when I think of this person, that’s kind of cool for a bit but then I feel like I need to vomit.
See? I suck at this emotional crap. I don’t totally trust my instincts on this either because the last couple of guys have turned out to be asshats and completely disregarded my feelings then left me crushed and hurt. This person isn’t as asshat at all, I just don’t know what he’s thinking or where this will go and well that’s making me crazy. Eh, who knows, maybe it’s just casual sex. I’m insane.
So yeah, I’m either going to be running through a field of flowers or constructing voodoo dolls and writing morose poetry very soon. Though maybe I should just stock up on condoms and decide that casual sex is the way to go. We’ll see.
*Dear sweet Internet, I’m not looking for advice or suggestions and I’m not going to tell you who this is about either, I’m just venting.