Sunday, September 10, 2006

Picking Up Men While Driving

(I wrote this long post earlier but Blogger fucking ATE it! BASTARD!)

Anyone who's known me for any length of time already knows of my incredible ability to get lost going ANYWHERE. I have the most acute sense of misdirection possible. Because of this I ALWAYS need a detailed set of instructions to anywhere I am going (and a detailed and accurate map, as well as phone numbers, GPS, homing device, etc. etc.)

Last night was Crystal's party. Crystal just moved to a lovely house in Lewisville. After mapquesting the directions, I discovered it was pretty straight forward (so I thought) and I'd have to drive 121. I was under a false sense of confidence in finding her house as I used to see a guy who lived in Lewisville so I drove out 121 about once a week for 2 and a half years. Ahhhh, well I stopped seeing that guy a couple of years ago and since then there has been CONSTRUCTION for the freaking toll project. So hey, guess what? It LOOKS DIFFERENT! Wow, what a freaking surprise it was for me to realize that things had CHANGED in the past couple of years with the construction and all and NOW I had NO FREAKING CLUE where I was for the most part. Yeah, good.

I clutched my directions in my hand and took the first MAIN street that I came to. After driving a mile or so, I was fairly confident that just MIGHT be more than ONE MAIN street in the Dallas area and that I had turned on the wrong one. So I popped a u-turn and headed back towards 121 to continue getting LOST and move on to HOPELESSLY LOST. At the first stop light this white truck pulled up beside me and the frat boy driving yelled over to me. I looked up, smiled and gave him a little wave back, then went back to staring uselessly at my worthless directions and contemplating exactly how long it would take me to get HOPELESSLY LOST and wishing that I had a full tank of gas. At the next stop light the truck was next to me again. This conversation took place:

Driver Frat Boy: Hey!
Me: *looking up again and smirking when I realize there are actually two frat boys in the truck*
Driver: You wanna go get naked with us?
Me: I'm going to a party.
Driver: Where at?
Me: Lewisville.
Driver: You gonna get naked?
Me: *more smirking* Maybe.
Driver: We'll follow you!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *more smirking while speeding off*

Yeah, whatever. Come on, does that EVER actually work? Are there girls who say "Hey, sure! You got a nice truck! I'll go get naked with you two total and complete strangers! I'll even throw in a couple of blow jobs since you seem so nice!" I think not!

Anyway, I DID make it to the party, but not before getting hopeless lost again and having to call K to help me navigate BACK to where I was supposed to be. The party was fun, I'll post photos later and before you ask - NO they never caught up to me so they didn't get to the party, and YES I did get lost going home - but hey, that was a given.

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