And like, we all went down to the mall...
I had to reasure Coco that we ALL are embarassed by photos from the 80's! Even Cindy Lauper cringes.
Laughing
After that we both had a good laugh at her prom pictures.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Dog Humiliation, Part II
All Dressed Up And No Place To Go!
I told her that lipstick just didn't work for her, but would she listen?
Scarby For Mother's Day
I love my feathers!
I went to Scarby with K and the Tiny Terrorists yesterday and it was fabulous. Enjoy the photo of ME. I cut out the family because I'm just like that ya know.
Back to sewing.
All Dressed Up And No Place To Go!
I told her that lipstick just didn't work for her, but would she listen?
Scarby For Mother's Day
I love my feathers!
I went to Scarby with K and the Tiny Terrorists yesterday and it was fabulous. Enjoy the photo of ME. I cut out the family because I'm just like that ya know.
Back to sewing.
Friday, May 12, 2006
My Coffee Is Cold
Yesterday D brought over Coco the Cutest Dog In The World for her 3 week vacation with me. I have no fucking clue where D is going, at the point that Coco was in my presence I stopped listening to what D was saying… until it came to money, then the Ben Franklin she put in my hand briefly got my attention. Yes she paid me $100 for watching Coco. That would be 2 Ulysses S. Grant’s or 5 Andrew Jackson’s or 10 Alexander Hamilton’s or 20 Abraham Lincoln’s or 50 Thomas Jefferson’s (did they even make that many of them though???) or 100 George Washington… but not 100 Sacagawea coins… not that I have ANYTHING against Sacagawea, I just would have to beat D down if she even thought to bring me a bag full of coins. But I digress… as usual.
Cutest Dog In The Whole Fucking World!
Enjoy this photo of Coco (you have no idea the torture that was endured in order to get this photo, so just enjoy it). Try not to look directly AT the photo as her intense cuteness could make your head explode and I just can’t be responsible for that kind of mess. I promise to humiliate this cute dog each and every day of her vacation and post the photos here on line for you to enjoy… well I promise I’ll do it until my ADD takes over and I get bored with it…
Speaking of cuteness, she came very close to wearing out her cute last night when I took her out. In the past I had gotten Coco accustomed to vacationing over here and not needing to be on a leash when I took her out for a quick potty break. She would stay in the yard area and not go wandering off. Since the last time she vacationed here, she apparently has suffered some kind of traumatic brain damage and forgotten the rule for no leash time. Leaving her senses behind and ignoring my calls, commands and bribes to come back, she took off running down the side walk. I’m assuming she felt the need to piss me off and go take a shit in a totally new area. She accomplished pissing me off as I was standing outside in my bare feet and classy Ghetto-mamma outfit with my dirty, barefoot offspring near by as one of my retarded neighbors tried to have a conversation with me. (no I’m not being mean, he really is retarded… and no I’m not being insensitive, he IS retarded as in rides the short bus retarded and not a ‘tard like me.) I had to walk down to where she was with my Tiny Terrorist following behind and get the damn dog because she was pretending she just couldn’t fucking hear me. I was pissed off with her for that. If she had been my dog, I would have kicked her… not really, I never kicked the dog I had and I only hit her once, but it was for a GOOD reason as in she took a really HUGE dump in the middle of my living room floor. My dog that came to me completely house broken lost her fucking mind and took a big ol’ steaming shit on my living room carpet out of spite. That was the moment I realized I just should not own an animal who takes craps as big as my head because I was intensely resentful for having to clean that up. But back to Coco, because she’s not my dog and she’s so completely cute I only put her in her kennel for a time out.
Enough about the dog, what about me?!? I’m totally busy and completely overwhelmed. The busy part is good, the overwhelmed part sucks. Emotionally this is a difficult time for me. Mother’s Day without a mom is rather depressing. It brings up a lot of sadness and resentment. This past year I’ve really missed my mother – not that she was all that supportive, but I’ve still missed her with all that has happened to D, myself and our brother. This year I’ll be dragging The Little People to faire with me as well as K. It’s also his 41st birthday, so I’m sure running around keeping The Little People occupied and trying to make sure that K has a good birthday will make things fun. If you see K this Sunday, take a moment to wish him a happy birthday or buy him a beer – it’s not everyday he turns 41!
Other things…
School is almost out which is YET ANOTHER reason to be stressed. Muther-Fuck! What the hell am I going to do with TWO kids all day? How will I get in my 3 martini lunches and 4 hour naps? I’m looking into summer camps for them, but frankly they cost money and with K back on unemployment I’d much rather find a way for them to EARN money rather than suck my pocket book dry. So if anyone needs weeds pulled, bricks stacked, floors scrubbed or any minor construction work done… let me know, we’ll talk rates and when you can pick up The Tiny Terrorists for some *ahem* babysitting.
I’ve lost something and that’s just bugging the shit out of me. I spend 20 – 30 minutes aimlessly looking around for it about ever 4 hours of the day. I can’t remember what I did with it. I’m not even going to say what I lost (NO it’s not a VIBRATOR, I can account for ALL of my BOBS so stop thinking those crazy thoughts) because you haven’t been here and have no fucking clue where it could be so no reason to tell you and make you laugh at me (more than usual).
I should be sewing and I’m going to go do that right now, just wanted to let everyone know I’m NOT DEAD, just in limbo of sorts.
On a good note, I’m back on COFFEE! Having realized that my stomach issues were due to my body hating on me and turning dairy into something to be avoided (WHAAAAAAA) has been good in one way because it means that COFFEE wasn’t the culprit. Yay coffee!
Okay, back to sewing.
Yesterday D brought over Coco the Cutest Dog In The World for her 3 week vacation with me. I have no fucking clue where D is going, at the point that Coco was in my presence I stopped listening to what D was saying… until it came to money, then the Ben Franklin she put in my hand briefly got my attention. Yes she paid me $100 for watching Coco. That would be 2 Ulysses S. Grant’s or 5 Andrew Jackson’s or 10 Alexander Hamilton’s or 20 Abraham Lincoln’s or 50 Thomas Jefferson’s (did they even make that many of them though???) or 100 George Washington… but not 100 Sacagawea coins… not that I have ANYTHING against Sacagawea, I just would have to beat D down if she even thought to bring me a bag full of coins. But I digress… as usual.
Cutest Dog In The Whole Fucking World!
Enjoy this photo of Coco (you have no idea the torture that was endured in order to get this photo, so just enjoy it). Try not to look directly AT the photo as her intense cuteness could make your head explode and I just can’t be responsible for that kind of mess. I promise to humiliate this cute dog each and every day of her vacation and post the photos here on line for you to enjoy… well I promise I’ll do it until my ADD takes over and I get bored with it…
Speaking of cuteness, she came very close to wearing out her cute last night when I took her out. In the past I had gotten Coco accustomed to vacationing over here and not needing to be on a leash when I took her out for a quick potty break. She would stay in the yard area and not go wandering off. Since the last time she vacationed here, she apparently has suffered some kind of traumatic brain damage and forgotten the rule for no leash time. Leaving her senses behind and ignoring my calls, commands and bribes to come back, she took off running down the side walk. I’m assuming she felt the need to piss me off and go take a shit in a totally new area. She accomplished pissing me off as I was standing outside in my bare feet and classy Ghetto-mamma outfit with my dirty, barefoot offspring near by as one of my retarded neighbors tried to have a conversation with me. (no I’m not being mean, he really is retarded… and no I’m not being insensitive, he IS retarded as in rides the short bus retarded and not a ‘tard like me.) I had to walk down to where she was with my Tiny Terrorist following behind and get the damn dog because she was pretending she just couldn’t fucking hear me. I was pissed off with her for that. If she had been my dog, I would have kicked her… not really, I never kicked the dog I had and I only hit her once, but it was for a GOOD reason as in she took a really HUGE dump in the middle of my living room floor. My dog that came to me completely house broken lost her fucking mind and took a big ol’ steaming shit on my living room carpet out of spite. That was the moment I realized I just should not own an animal who takes craps as big as my head because I was intensely resentful for having to clean that up. But back to Coco, because she’s not my dog and she’s so completely cute I only put her in her kennel for a time out.
Enough about the dog, what about me?!? I’m totally busy and completely overwhelmed. The busy part is good, the overwhelmed part sucks. Emotionally this is a difficult time for me. Mother’s Day without a mom is rather depressing. It brings up a lot of sadness and resentment. This past year I’ve really missed my mother – not that she was all that supportive, but I’ve still missed her with all that has happened to D, myself and our brother. This year I’ll be dragging The Little People to faire with me as well as K. It’s also his 41st birthday, so I’m sure running around keeping The Little People occupied and trying to make sure that K has a good birthday will make things fun. If you see K this Sunday, take a moment to wish him a happy birthday or buy him a beer – it’s not everyday he turns 41!
Other things…
School is almost out which is YET ANOTHER reason to be stressed. Muther-Fuck! What the hell am I going to do with TWO kids all day? How will I get in my 3 martini lunches and 4 hour naps? I’m looking into summer camps for them, but frankly they cost money and with K back on unemployment I’d much rather find a way for them to EARN money rather than suck my pocket book dry. So if anyone needs weeds pulled, bricks stacked, floors scrubbed or any minor construction work done… let me know, we’ll talk rates and when you can pick up The Tiny Terrorists for some *ahem* babysitting.
I’ve lost something and that’s just bugging the shit out of me. I spend 20 – 30 minutes aimlessly looking around for it about ever 4 hours of the day. I can’t remember what I did with it. I’m not even going to say what I lost (NO it’s not a VIBRATOR, I can account for ALL of my BOBS so stop thinking those crazy thoughts) because you haven’t been here and have no fucking clue where it could be so no reason to tell you and make you laugh at me (more than usual).
I should be sewing and I’m going to go do that right now, just wanted to let everyone know I’m NOT DEAD, just in limbo of sorts.
On a good note, I’m back on COFFEE! Having realized that my stomach issues were due to my body hating on me and turning dairy into something to be avoided (WHAAAAAAA) has been good in one way because it means that COFFEE wasn’t the culprit. Yay coffee!
Okay, back to sewing.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Et tu, Dairy?
Over the weekend it occurred to me that I’m probably lactose intolerant. After breakfast of yogurt and banana an hour later I was pushing my cart at work with a nauseous stomach, hoping that I had something in my purse to calm my stomach and debating whether I should go home and suffer alone. At that moment it occurred to me to wonder if my suffering was caused by the yogurt (and dairy in general) since this same type of thing happened the day before… and the day before… and just about every morning I start the day with yogurt or cereal and milk. A couple more hours of suffering (because nothing says BIG COMISSIONS like looking nausea and bloating) I was fairly certain that dairy had suddenly betrayed me and my gastrointestinal tract. Be damned! I love dairy! We’ve had so many good times together! And now… we must part ways. Eh, life goes on. BUT on the upside, I can now resume my coffee drinking since it’s not the coffee that’s been making me feel crappy. Bring on the Starbucks!
On To Other Things…
Thankfully work was not insane this weekend and I MADE IT BACK OUT TO FAIRE!!! I feared the rains that were predicted but never happened so I didn’t wear my super cool multi colored skirt. I made a most fabulous addition to my garb – PINK FEATHERS! I love them. Yes PINK. I have nothing PINK to wear with it, but who fucking cares – I look good in them! I even looked fabulous* after faire when I changed back into my camo capri’s! (you know you want some too!)
Feathers
So yeah, now I need garb that will coordinate with PINK… or whatever, I’ll just wear them.
*’fabulous’ being a relative term here considering my memorable fashion choices have included fishnets, polka-dot rubber rain boots and tee shirts saying ‘DORK’ and ‘EASY’.
Over the weekend it occurred to me that I’m probably lactose intolerant. After breakfast of yogurt and banana an hour later I was pushing my cart at work with a nauseous stomach, hoping that I had something in my purse to calm my stomach and debating whether I should go home and suffer alone. At that moment it occurred to me to wonder if my suffering was caused by the yogurt (and dairy in general) since this same type of thing happened the day before… and the day before… and just about every morning I start the day with yogurt or cereal and milk. A couple more hours of suffering (because nothing says BIG COMISSIONS like looking nausea and bloating) I was fairly certain that dairy had suddenly betrayed me and my gastrointestinal tract. Be damned! I love dairy! We’ve had so many good times together! And now… we must part ways. Eh, life goes on. BUT on the upside, I can now resume my coffee drinking since it’s not the coffee that’s been making me feel crappy. Bring on the Starbucks!
On To Other Things…
Thankfully work was not insane this weekend and I MADE IT BACK OUT TO FAIRE!!! I feared the rains that were predicted but never happened so I didn’t wear my super cool multi colored skirt. I made a most fabulous addition to my garb – PINK FEATHERS! I love them. Yes PINK. I have nothing PINK to wear with it, but who fucking cares – I look good in them! I even looked fabulous* after faire when I changed back into my camo capri’s! (you know you want some too!)
Feathers
So yeah, now I need garb that will coordinate with PINK… or whatever, I’ll just wear them.
*’fabulous’ being a relative term here considering my memorable fashion choices have included fishnets, polka-dot rubber rain boots and tee shirts saying ‘DORK’ and ‘EASY’.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Oedipus Complex
Today D came over. I showed her Super Girl’s class photo and D made a comment about how this one little boy looked standing next to Super Girl looked like he was mackin’ on her. This lead to a conversation of how Super Girl thought he was so weird because he thought he was her mother. D and I exchanged glances then snarky comments before Super Girl corrected herself and said “No! He thinks I’m his mother.” D and I exchanged knowing glances and smirks and I asked “Does he call you ‘mommy’ as in ‘Hey mommy, what you doing?’” My Cuban and Mexican sister had tears running from her eyes as we laughed at the realization that the Hispanic boy was in fact mackin’ on Super Girl. K on the other hand was doing the “La, la, la, la, la! I can’t hear you!” in utter denial.
Today D came over. I showed her Super Girl’s class photo and D made a comment about how this one little boy looked standing next to Super Girl looked like he was mackin’ on her. This lead to a conversation of how Super Girl thought he was so weird because he thought he was her mother. D and I exchanged glances then snarky comments before Super Girl corrected herself and said “No! He thinks I’m his mother.” D and I exchanged knowing glances and smirks and I asked “Does he call you ‘mommy’ as in ‘Hey mommy, what you doing?’” My Cuban and Mexican sister had tears running from her eyes as we laughed at the realization that the Hispanic boy was in fact mackin’ on Super Girl. K on the other hand was doing the “La, la, la, la, la! I can’t hear you!” in utter denial.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
My Militant Lesbian Outfit
Yesterday K and I went to procure new swim attire for the Tiny Terrorists. That meant a trip to Ross. It also meant that I would get to peruse the racks of clothing for some new funky piece of clothing. After the selection of new swim wear for EVERYONE (even me, but that’s another story) I steered the cart over to the fat chick area and started pawing through the racks of stuff and lo and behold what did I find… the MOST PERFECT pair of pants EVER made. In my size even. A pair of camouflage Capri pants. I immediately dropped the mini skirt I had been carrying around and snatched the pants off the rack declaring to K that THESE WERE THE ONES! K immediately started to smirk and make snide comments about how all I needed was a wife-beater and some combat boots to be ready for the pride march. I cast him a disparaging glance and muttered to him to shut up, that I didn’t think they let bi-sexuals in the march anyway. I searched through the racks of shirts to find a PERFECT one to go with my fabulous new pants (oddly enough I did keep finding tank tops that would go with the pants, but I didn’t buy any – because I already have some and secondly the amazing camouflage tank just wasn’t in my size) and ignored K’s continual comments about my Militant Lesbian uniform as I selected the perfect white lacy shirt to compliment the pants. When I tried the fabulous pants on, K commented that they actually looked really good on me. I’m thinking that camouflage print makes my fat ass harder to see… Maybe I need to buy all my clothes in camo from now on. Might not actually HIDE my ass from sight but in a pinch I’ll be able to hide in the bushes.
Yesterday K and I went to procure new swim attire for the Tiny Terrorists. That meant a trip to Ross. It also meant that I would get to peruse the racks of clothing for some new funky piece of clothing. After the selection of new swim wear for EVERYONE (even me, but that’s another story) I steered the cart over to the fat chick area and started pawing through the racks of stuff and lo and behold what did I find… the MOST PERFECT pair of pants EVER made. In my size even. A pair of camouflage Capri pants. I immediately dropped the mini skirt I had been carrying around and snatched the pants off the rack declaring to K that THESE WERE THE ONES! K immediately started to smirk and make snide comments about how all I needed was a wife-beater and some combat boots to be ready for the pride march. I cast him a disparaging glance and muttered to him to shut up, that I didn’t think they let bi-sexuals in the march anyway. I searched through the racks of shirts to find a PERFECT one to go with my fabulous new pants (oddly enough I did keep finding tank tops that would go with the pants, but I didn’t buy any – because I already have some and secondly the amazing camouflage tank just wasn’t in my size) and ignored K’s continual comments about my Militant Lesbian uniform as I selected the perfect white lacy shirt to compliment the pants. When I tried the fabulous pants on, K commented that they actually looked really good on me. I’m thinking that camouflage print makes my fat ass harder to see… Maybe I need to buy all my clothes in camo from now on. Might not actually HIDE my ass from sight but in a pinch I’ll be able to hide in the bushes.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Crazy World I Live In
WTF is up with the weather? Yesterday it was all hot and everything and today it’s 56! 56! Say it with me FIFTY SIX! It’s cold. I’m not complaining, I like 56 better than 80, I’m just CONFUSED. I read the weather yesterday and it said possible showers high of 75. It’s not 75. It’s 56! And it isn’t raining.
Whatever…
Other stuff… since it’s SPRING the creek area is nearly in FULL bloom! I love that! It’s so pretty! And SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FULL of POISON IVY! A couple of weeks ago Super Girl and I got our FIRST case of poison ivy of the year! Woot! My rash was small and just on my face, poor Super Girl on the other hand got some on her face… and her right fore arm… and on her side… and under her arm and on her other arm and a small spot on her back. Sheesh! And we got all this by just walking on the side walk – no one went crashing through the brush. On that very walk I had stopped Super Girl specifically to point out the beautiful lush field of POISON IVY and cautioned her to STAY AWAY from it, do NOT touch the green stuff near the creek. Now it seems that neither her or I can even WALK down there. Sad really because we won’t be able to watch the web worms this year as they build nests in the trees, we can’t go looking for the cardinals or the blue jays, we can’t chase the butterflies, we can’t go smell the bushes of honeysuckle (it’s mixed in with the poison ivy), we won’t get to watch the persimmon trees or go search for the old well near the creek. Sucks really. Damn that poison ivy! Damn K and Cabbage Patch for not being allergic! Thank goodness for Benedryl and lots of anti-itching cream.
Other stuff…
Happy positive thoughts for K now, his most fabulous season tech support job has ended and he’s once again searching for employment. Tech Support is what he’s looking for and what he’s damn good at, so if you know of anything – send me a message.
Also, happy thoughts for my daddy. I can NOT fully express exactly how much I dislike my stepmother who is a stone cold bitch, minion of Satan. She’s giving my father a hard way to go and his life is already hard.
Okay, now I have to get back to my sewing machine! So much to sew!
WTF is up with the weather? Yesterday it was all hot and everything and today it’s 56! 56! Say it with me FIFTY SIX! It’s cold. I’m not complaining, I like 56 better than 80, I’m just CONFUSED. I read the weather yesterday and it said possible showers high of 75. It’s not 75. It’s 56! And it isn’t raining.
Whatever…
Other stuff… since it’s SPRING the creek area is nearly in FULL bloom! I love that! It’s so pretty! And SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FULL of POISON IVY! A couple of weeks ago Super Girl and I got our FIRST case of poison ivy of the year! Woot! My rash was small and just on my face, poor Super Girl on the other hand got some on her face… and her right fore arm… and on her side… and under her arm and on her other arm and a small spot on her back. Sheesh! And we got all this by just walking on the side walk – no one went crashing through the brush. On that very walk I had stopped Super Girl specifically to point out the beautiful lush field of POISON IVY and cautioned her to STAY AWAY from it, do NOT touch the green stuff near the creek. Now it seems that neither her or I can even WALK down there. Sad really because we won’t be able to watch the web worms this year as they build nests in the trees, we can’t go looking for the cardinals or the blue jays, we can’t chase the butterflies, we can’t go smell the bushes of honeysuckle (it’s mixed in with the poison ivy), we won’t get to watch the persimmon trees or go search for the old well near the creek. Sucks really. Damn that poison ivy! Damn K and Cabbage Patch for not being allergic! Thank goodness for Benedryl and lots of anti-itching cream.
Other stuff…
Happy positive thoughts for K now, his most fabulous season tech support job has ended and he’s once again searching for employment. Tech Support is what he’s looking for and what he’s damn good at, so if you know of anything – send me a message.
Also, happy thoughts for my daddy. I can NOT fully express exactly how much I dislike my stepmother who is a stone cold bitch, minion of Satan. She’s giving my father a hard way to go and his life is already hard.
Okay, now I have to get back to my sewing machine! So much to sew!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Blame LaSeg For This!
She's the one who keeps doing these damn things, and well ya know, I just HAVE to do them also!
Your results:
You are Supergirl
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
She's the one who keeps doing these damn things, and well ya know, I just HAVE to do them also!
Your results:
You are Supergirl
| Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.  |
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
Sunday, April 23, 2006
My Dating Style
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. |
I Stepped On Barbie’s Head Just A Moment Ago
Not intentionally, she was just in the way, laying there on the floor as I was getting into the tub. It’s her own fault.
I just finished coloring my hair, because what better thing could one do at midnight on a Saturday night than color one’s hair? So now my bathroom looks like a crime scene. I was an idiot while coloring, I only wore gloves to do the roots, then took them off to do the refresher color so I ended up with that “Oops, I didn’t mean to kill that hooker” red all over my hands… actually down to my elbows. No matter, the hair shall look fabulous, so what if my tub was like that shower scene from Psycho?
On to other insanity!
Life is so weird sometimes. One of my best friends from high school has a mild form of stalking, in her free time at work she likes to do online searches for people we knew in high school. Then she’ll call me and tell me about the, on occasion she’ll ask me or dare me (in the case of my nemesis from hs) to e-mail them. Early in the week she called and left me a message to CALL HER NOW. I did not as I was very busy and while I was listening to her telephone message I got another phone call so I forgot to call her, so bad me, I suck. ANYWAY… I got a message on MySpace from her to CALL HER on Thursday. She tells me that she found our friend E’s page on MySpace and I have to go look. So, of course I HAVE to do that. I was all “Oh my goodness! He’s um… grown up… and um… gotten really cute!” My friend implored me to send E an e-mail (because she’s a total ‘tard and couldn’t figure out to how to do it from MySpace herself). So I did. Friday my friend calls back to see if E answered, which he hadn’t so I sent yet another message demanding his attention. It’s odd how when STALKING, HOOKERS and GROUP THERAPY are all mentioned, it gets one’s attention. So started the exchange of e-mails betwixt he and I and the phone calls from my friend. It was crazy. But a good kind of crazy. Hopefully we all can meet up soon.
Taking Out A Loan To Fill Up The Tank
Fuck, gas prices are out of control. It took $37 to fill my gas tank on my tiny little car.
Must go to work. How I hate not having AC in my car. *sigh* Think cool thoughts for me.
Not intentionally, she was just in the way, laying there on the floor as I was getting into the tub. It’s her own fault.
I just finished coloring my hair, because what better thing could one do at midnight on a Saturday night than color one’s hair? So now my bathroom looks like a crime scene. I was an idiot while coloring, I only wore gloves to do the roots, then took them off to do the refresher color so I ended up with that “Oops, I didn’t mean to kill that hooker” red all over my hands… actually down to my elbows. No matter, the hair shall look fabulous, so what if my tub was like that shower scene from Psycho?
On to other insanity!
Life is so weird sometimes. One of my best friends from high school has a mild form of stalking, in her free time at work she likes to do online searches for people we knew in high school. Then she’ll call me and tell me about the, on occasion she’ll ask me or dare me (in the case of my nemesis from hs) to e-mail them. Early in the week she called and left me a message to CALL HER NOW. I did not as I was very busy and while I was listening to her telephone message I got another phone call so I forgot to call her, so bad me, I suck. ANYWAY… I got a message on MySpace from her to CALL HER on Thursday. She tells me that she found our friend E’s page on MySpace and I have to go look. So, of course I HAVE to do that. I was all “Oh my goodness! He’s um… grown up… and um… gotten really cute!” My friend implored me to send E an e-mail (because she’s a total ‘tard and couldn’t figure out to how to do it from MySpace herself). So I did. Friday my friend calls back to see if E answered, which he hadn’t so I sent yet another message demanding his attention. It’s odd how when STALKING, HOOKERS and GROUP THERAPY are all mentioned, it gets one’s attention. So started the exchange of e-mails betwixt he and I and the phone calls from my friend. It was crazy. But a good kind of crazy. Hopefully we all can meet up soon.
Taking Out A Loan To Fill Up The Tank
Fuck, gas prices are out of control. It took $37 to fill my gas tank on my tiny little car.
Must go to work. How I hate not having AC in my car. *sigh* Think cool thoughts for me.
Friday, April 21, 2006
At 4 It’s Amuseing, At 40 It’ll Need Medication…
Cabbage Patch is insane this morning. More so than usual. The cause? Cereal. Some sugary cereal of no nutritional value that I RARELY let my offspring eat. It’s gone, that’s why she’s pissed. Super Girl had the last of the this morning. Now the world is coming to an end… because Super Girl ate the last of the cereal. How stupid of me to not know. The best part of all of this was when she walked out of the kitchen holding the empty box and said “No one eats all my Trix!” I tried HARD not to laugh but I had the Lucky Charms theme song running through my head as she looked like a deranged leprechaun! “They’re magically delicious!”
Cabbage Patch is insane this morning. More so than usual. The cause? Cereal. Some sugary cereal of no nutritional value that I RARELY let my offspring eat. It’s gone, that’s why she’s pissed. Super Girl had the last of the this morning. Now the world is coming to an end… because Super Girl ate the last of the cereal. How stupid of me to not know. The best part of all of this was when she walked out of the kitchen holding the empty box and said “No one eats all my Trix!” I tried HARD not to laugh but I had the Lucky Charms theme song running through my head as she looked like a deranged leprechaun! “They’re magically delicious!”
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Puppet Theater Seder!
Last week the Little People and I celebrated Passover. Unlike most years when I had K’s help in preparing, this year it was just me, the Tiny Terrorists and a sock puppet. Yes a sock puppet, I needed all the help I could in keeping the attention of my offspring.
Since this was my year of doing it alone, this would be the year of the SHORT Seder instead of the one that lasts until midnight or 1 am. Luckily everything went well. The progeny sat through everything (even though Super Girl asked ever 5 minutes if it was “time to find the matzah?” or if it was “time to open the door for Elijah?”), only one glass of wine was spilled on the table, no one called my matzah balls ‘poop’ and the offspring actually ATE the meal (roasted breast of lamb and potatoes, salad, mixed veggies and matzah ball soup, with a delightful desert of chocolate topped coconut macaroons – all made by ME).
Thankfully I had a sock puppet to help out. Just about the time that the offspring were getting bored and restless and I was on the verge of snapping at them that NO, it WAS NOT time to find the fucking matzah or open the DAMN DOOR! I turned to my friend the Pets.com spokes puppet and let him take over. I’m fairly certain that his rendition of the Exodus story wouldn’t be exactly considered reverent but it DID keep my offspring riveted to the story and sitting in their seats. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two kids that excited over plagues! They were almost as excited about that as the fact that I forgot to get kosher grape juice for them so they got 4 tiny glasses of wine. I of course opted for 4 LARGE glasses of wine as I traditionally do and I’m guessing THAT is why the puppet was such and an amusing and important part of the Seder.
Anyway, I managed to get the offspring to bed shortly after 9 pm and the puppet and I passed out on the sofa after finishing off the rest of the bottle of wine.
Seder Guest
Ready for the seder
They were BIG glasses of wine.
Last week the Little People and I celebrated Passover. Unlike most years when I had K’s help in preparing, this year it was just me, the Tiny Terrorists and a sock puppet. Yes a sock puppet, I needed all the help I could in keeping the attention of my offspring.
Since this was my year of doing it alone, this would be the year of the SHORT Seder instead of the one that lasts until midnight or 1 am. Luckily everything went well. The progeny sat through everything (even though Super Girl asked ever 5 minutes if it was “time to find the matzah?” or if it was “time to open the door for Elijah?”), only one glass of wine was spilled on the table, no one called my matzah balls ‘poop’ and the offspring actually ATE the meal (roasted breast of lamb and potatoes, salad, mixed veggies and matzah ball soup, with a delightful desert of chocolate topped coconut macaroons – all made by ME).
Thankfully I had a sock puppet to help out. Just about the time that the offspring were getting bored and restless and I was on the verge of snapping at them that NO, it WAS NOT time to find the fucking matzah or open the DAMN DOOR! I turned to my friend the Pets.com spokes puppet and let him take over. I’m fairly certain that his rendition of the Exodus story wouldn’t be exactly considered reverent but it DID keep my offspring riveted to the story and sitting in their seats. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two kids that excited over plagues! They were almost as excited about that as the fact that I forgot to get kosher grape juice for them so they got 4 tiny glasses of wine. I of course opted for 4 LARGE glasses of wine as I traditionally do and I’m guessing THAT is why the puppet was such and an amusing and important part of the Seder.
Anyway, I managed to get the offspring to bed shortly after 9 pm and the puppet and I passed out on the sofa after finishing off the rest of the bottle of wine.
Seder Guest
Ready for the seder
They were BIG glasses of wine.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Do NOT Fuck With Her! She Will FUCK You Up!
And she'll still be holding her Barbie.
My child is insane. I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt about her birth and wonder if that lack of oxygen is the cause of her madness. Her latest thing is to ball up her little fist, make that 'tough' face and say "You wanna piece of me?" It makes me laugh most times, you just can't take that statement seriously coming from her cerubic face.
And since yesterday she's been playing with clothes pins. It's bizarre. Today she stuck about 7 of them in her hair, which I just HAD to get a photo of. Then about 30 minutes later while K and I were having a conversation I had to stop mid sentence as I saw her with a clothes pin on both lips. A few moments ago she was doing her own version of Edward Scissor Hands with the clothes pins. Weird.
And she'll still be holding her Barbie.
My child is insane. I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt about her birth and wonder if that lack of oxygen is the cause of her madness. Her latest thing is to ball up her little fist, make that 'tough' face and say "You wanna piece of me?" It makes me laugh most times, you just can't take that statement seriously coming from her cerubic face.
And since yesterday she's been playing with clothes pins. It's bizarre. Today she stuck about 7 of them in her hair, which I just HAD to get a photo of. Then about 30 minutes later while K and I were having a conversation I had to stop mid sentence as I saw her with a clothes pin on both lips. A few moments ago she was doing her own version of Edward Scissor Hands with the clothes pins. Weird.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Time Out!
Damn, talk about being busy! I was so busy last week, I had this crazy notion that this week would be relaxing. HAHAHAHAHAHA! It doesn’t help that I’m completely off my schedule. K is working 3 pm until 2 am these days so that means he’s HOME for part of the day, meaning I have to totally rework my schedule. On top of that, I’m a day off. Yesterday K and I had this conversation:
Me: Oy! I have so much to do to get ready for Passover! (imagine me with the Jewish Mother accent)
Him: You have to do the Search for Chametz tonight also.
Me: No that’s tomorrow. Passover starts on Thursday night.
Him: No it starts tomorrow.
Me: *rolling my eyes at the ignorant gentile* No… it starts Thursday at sundown. On the 12th. I already checked.
Him: Judy, today is the 11th.
Me: Oh… hmm.. damn. I’m a day off.
So, yeah… whatever… It’s the story of my life. At this very moment I’m waiting for K to wake up so I can go to the store and get the last items for our fabulous Passover meal. While I wait I’ve been scanning through the Childrens Haggadah so I can adapt it with PUPPETS! This year will be the year of The Puppet Theater Passover! Hey, I’m doing this solo this year, I need all the advantages I can get and quite frankly the Tiny Terrorist give the puppet 100% of their attention where as I get about 30 seconds. 30 seconds is not enough time to get through 10 plagues AND the parting of the Red Sea.
Other things..
This past weekend was insane! But tremendous amounts of fun. It was the opening of Scarborough Faire. Due to K’s work schedule I had to bring the Tiny Terrorists with me to fair. Which meant I had to garb them! Woohoo! As usual with faire, I was up sewing until 4:30 am – both night. BUT – my offspring looked CUTE! So it was well worth the lack of sleep.
I’m not going to bore you with details of fair – Just look at the photos.
Wynde Darling just dressed!
RenJews!
Scary Cyn!
Scary Fairy!
NOT scary Fairies!
Are they ALWAYS Happy like that???
Filched Feathers! Damn I look good!
Multi tasking
Young Love... wait... too soon! Hands off little man!
Those Crazy Wenches! YMCA!
Look! It's Cher! Or... is it Sally Struthers?
Go look at Scarborough Faire photos to see the rest (click on both words to see both days)
Damn, talk about being busy! I was so busy last week, I had this crazy notion that this week would be relaxing. HAHAHAHAHAHA! It doesn’t help that I’m completely off my schedule. K is working 3 pm until 2 am these days so that means he’s HOME for part of the day, meaning I have to totally rework my schedule. On top of that, I’m a day off. Yesterday K and I had this conversation:
Me: Oy! I have so much to do to get ready for Passover! (imagine me with the Jewish Mother accent)
Him: You have to do the Search for Chametz tonight also.
Me: No that’s tomorrow. Passover starts on Thursday night.
Him: No it starts tomorrow.
Me: *rolling my eyes at the ignorant gentile* No… it starts Thursday at sundown. On the 12th. I already checked.
Him: Judy, today is the 11th.
Me: Oh… hmm.. damn. I’m a day off.
So, yeah… whatever… It’s the story of my life. At this very moment I’m waiting for K to wake up so I can go to the store and get the last items for our fabulous Passover meal. While I wait I’ve been scanning through the Childrens Haggadah so I can adapt it with PUPPETS! This year will be the year of The Puppet Theater Passover! Hey, I’m doing this solo this year, I need all the advantages I can get and quite frankly the Tiny Terrorist give the puppet 100% of their attention where as I get about 30 seconds. 30 seconds is not enough time to get through 10 plagues AND the parting of the Red Sea.
Other things..
This past weekend was insane! But tremendous amounts of fun. It was the opening of Scarborough Faire. Due to K’s work schedule I had to bring the Tiny Terrorists with me to fair. Which meant I had to garb them! Woohoo! As usual with faire, I was up sewing until 4:30 am – both night. BUT – my offspring looked CUTE! So it was well worth the lack of sleep.
I’m not going to bore you with details of fair – Just look at the photos.
Wynde Darling just dressed!
RenJews!
Scary Cyn!
Scary Fairy!
NOT scary Fairies!
Are they ALWAYS Happy like that???
Filched Feathers! Damn I look good!
Multi tasking
Young Love... wait... too soon! Hands off little man!
Those Crazy Wenches! YMCA!
Look! It's Cher! Or... is it Sally Struthers?
Go look at Scarborough Faire photos to see the rest (click on both words to see both days)
Thursday, April 06, 2006
You Kids! Get Off My Lawn!
Before...
I'm very angry right now. I don't even have time to be, I have so much to do, but I am. White hot angry. I took the Little People to have a delightful gourmet meal of McD's because the thought of cooking tonight was more nauseating than the thought of eating McD's food and I figured that if we walked to McD's and they played in the 'Migical Fun Fabulous Play Area' courtesy of Ronald McD', that they would be pretty damn tired out by the time we got home and go right to bed which would save my sanity and give me a few moments of peace.... but I digress... When we got home there was a group of 8 - 11 year olds milling around my building. They had been throwing bricks in the street and spitting on the sidewalk and when I got to my door I saw this:
After
They had knocked over one of my large planters (pictured above a few days ago with lovely green sprouts). They also had obviously stepped in two others and had messed with one other. I didn't even get to opening my door before I walked over to the 8 or 9 kids who had been cautiously watching me. I asked them who had been messing with my plants and somehow they had NO IDEA WHO had done that, even though it was obvious it had just happened (there was still wet outlines of where my planters HAD been on the cement). I told them I didn't believe them and that I thougth they had done it and that they had beter keep their fucking hands off my planters.
I know it's not the end of the fucking world, but it still pisses me off. The Little People and I have a tradition of planting things every year. Starting in January or February we start discussing what to plant and shopping for seeds. Finally we plan a special day to plant seeds. This year my offspring were especially excited about our 'garden'. Every single day they have peered into the planters searching for tiny green sprouts. Every day since the first green sprouts pushed through the dirt, they have inspected them and excitedly reported on the growth. And now... most of it is gone. *sigh*
Before...
I'm very angry right now. I don't even have time to be, I have so much to do, but I am. White hot angry. I took the Little People to have a delightful gourmet meal of McD's because the thought of cooking tonight was more nauseating than the thought of eating McD's food and I figured that if we walked to McD's and they played in the 'Migical Fun Fabulous Play Area' courtesy of Ronald McD', that they would be pretty damn tired out by the time we got home and go right to bed which would save my sanity and give me a few moments of peace.... but I digress... When we got home there was a group of 8 - 11 year olds milling around my building. They had been throwing bricks in the street and spitting on the sidewalk and when I got to my door I saw this:
After
They had knocked over one of my large planters (pictured above a few days ago with lovely green sprouts). They also had obviously stepped in two others and had messed with one other. I didn't even get to opening my door before I walked over to the 8 or 9 kids who had been cautiously watching me. I asked them who had been messing with my plants and somehow they had NO IDEA WHO had done that, even though it was obvious it had just happened (there was still wet outlines of where my planters HAD been on the cement). I told them I didn't believe them and that I thougth they had done it and that they had beter keep their fucking hands off my planters.
I know it's not the end of the fucking world, but it still pisses me off. The Little People and I have a tradition of planting things every year. Starting in January or February we start discussing what to plant and shopping for seeds. Finally we plan a special day to plant seeds. This year my offspring were especially excited about our 'garden'. Every single day they have peered into the planters searching for tiny green sprouts. Every day since the first green sprouts pushed through the dirt, they have inspected them and excitedly reported on the growth. And now... most of it is gone. *sigh*
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