Stupid Conversations Or The Shit That Comes Out Of My Mouth

This is how a conversation just went between me and K.

K: Do you want to say good night to Bea (the gerbil)? (question not directed to me, but to the youngest of my offspring)
Me: Do you want a drink of beer Bea? (moving beer toward Bea)
K: *shooting me surprised yet dirty look*
Me: Kidding.
K: Yeah... *putting Bea back in cage*
Me: (whispering) It's okay Bea, I'll give you some when he's gone. Just a little bottle cap full should be enough.
K: *shooting me another dirty look*
Me: Kidding! Kidding! You can stop giving me that 'I'm gonna call PETA on you, I better take the poor gerbil to work with me tomorrow' look! You know I'd never do that. Come on, have I ever drugged our children?
K: Yes.
Me: Uh! No, I'm not talking about the Benadryl times, I mean illegal things! Besides there were VERY few Benadryl times.
K: *Walking away, rolling eyes.*
Me: *shaking head as he walks away, just knowing my chances of getting Mother Of The Year are once again dashed.*

And now - a conversation between me and XXX.

XXX: why do you want an Oompa Loompa?
Me: Who wouldn't want one????!!!
XXX: ummm, me
XXX: their creepy
Me: Oh well.. Ok.
Me: It would be fun to make them sing their song a few times then make them clean the house
XXX: scrub the toliet you orange freak!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

heh, god I love that man.