How Do You Like Me Now???

Well I went ahead and changed my template. Just the colors. I could not find a blog template that was what I wanted though, to be honest I didn't really do all that much search, I don't have all that much time to search for flame motif blog skins. Yes I had wanted a nice flame motif, kind of fits my state of being right now. There are times I feel as though I've been tossed into the flames and there are other times I feel like setting something (someone really) on fire and I start pondering collecting money for gas. ;o)

I have removed most of the photos of myself as thoes were taken in February 2004 on the outting that I met Michael. They were my favorite pictures, it was a really great evening - I may post the pictures one last time as a last hurrah so to speak before I retire them for good. I suppose it's time for new photos on here anyway, I've lost 30 lbs since then and I think I look pretty damn good now. Besides I need some new hot photos of me so I can find myself a hot mansicle. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! Gawd I kill myself sometimes, the last thing I need right now is another man in my life. I gotta get over the whole Michael/Loa thing first. I will, it will happen, just wish it would already happen, I'm very tired of vacillating between being so hurt I can actually feel the pain so I must cry, being so angry I contemplate dousing him in gassoline and setting him on fire, feeling stupid for having trusted him for 13 months and believed it was something special and just being sad. Head games, I don't know why anyone would want to play them with me, I don't play them with people and I'm a much more reasonable person than most people seem to give me credit for, so no head games please.

And a note to all men from my past I was involved with, now is not the time to start coming out of the cracks like cockroaches when the lights go off. I appreciate all the offers and the affirmations of how 'hot' you still think I am are indeed flattering and do make me smile, but dudes, you are men from my past for a reason and I did choose him over you. Give me some time boys, come back in a month or so and tell me again how hot you are for me and how incredible the sex was - it won't get you any further with me than it does now but it will make me smile and hell who doesn't like an ego boost (and hell I sure need that, nothing like being dumped for someone else to squash the old self esteem).

Okay I guess I'm done for now. I need to go for a walk or something. I had just intended this as a notice of the change to the blog and to ask for feed back on that, but it appears my Internet Therapy was early today (feel free to comment on that as well).