Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Mail Key Incident

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Yesterday I walked to the mail box to get my mail and when I went to relock my box and remove my key, my intentions were thwarted by a stuborn lock that would not lock and hence was holding my keys ransom. A few moments of furiously working the lock while yelling at the Tiny Terorists to stop running amuck yielded nothing but sore fingers for me. As it was 5 pm and the office was still open and just a stones throw from the mail boxes I went to the office and reported my trouble. Below is the EXACT* conversation I had with management:

Surly Assistant Manager: Yes? Can I help you?
Me: Yeah, my mail box key is stuck in the lock.
Surly Assistant Manager: What? Stuck in the lock?
Me: Yeah, I can't get it out.
Surly Assistant Manager:Well the maintenance people are gone. They won't be back until 7:30 AM tomorrow.
Me: So what are you going to do?
Surly Assistant Manager:Do you want me to call someone? I mean they won't get here until at least 7pm so you might as well wait. (i.e. it's too close to going home time for me to give a fuck about your tiny little problem, so go away)
Me: You can't do anything?
Surly Assistant Manager:Well I could call them, but if you can't get your key out, then no one else will be able to and they can replace the lock first thing in the morning. (meaning, stop bugging me about your little problem, I am not going to help you)
Me: You can't do anything? Don't you even have a can of WD40?
Surly Assistant Manager:(looking at me like I'm insane)We don't even have a key to that room so we can't do anything.(so go away so I can get back to gossiping and counting down the minutes until I leave)
Me: (getting pissed) So you aren't going to do anything?
Surly Assistant Manager:Well I could call someone (but I don't want to). Do you just want to wait until tomorrow.(Go away before my coffe get's cold)
Me: Well I guess i really don't have a choice now do I.
and I started to walk out.
Surly Assistant Manager: We could call someone if you want. (said as i walk out the door)

I go to the mail box, get my house keys off the ring and dash back to my town house where I (truly the Queen of The Lube) grab my trusty can of lube (it's for my sewing machine you perv!), headed back to the mail box. A few squirts later and my box was locked and my key free. I'm a fucking genius.

* Well not EXACTLY, but that's how I'm going to tell it anyway 'cuz it's my blog.

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