Cursed Toilet From HELL!!!

If I thought a voodoo doll of a toilet would work, I'd be sewing right now! Curse you EVIL TOILET!

When I entered my bathroom I discovered that the ENTIRE bathroom had been flooded by the overflow. Seems that a normal average adult response to an overflowing toilet is to a)back away in horror and disgust, b)pray it does NOT actually overflow and c)grab as many towels as possible and throw them on the floor to soak up the mess. BUT it wasn't a normal average adult in the bathroom when the toilet decided to refuse to accept the offending matter in the bowl. No it was the Tiny Terrorists. And what Chaos and Destruction did was none of the above. Here's what happened. After Cabbage Patch used the toilet she flushed the toilet (I should give her points for doing that) and instead of the water swirling around and wooshing down the drain, it just continued to rise, in response to this event Cabbage Patch did the unthinkable, she FLUSHED AGAIN! This resulted in a waterfall effect as the water cascaded over the rim of the toilet and splashed down on the floor. Super Girl seeing this did what any 6 year old would do and started screaming "Mamma! Mamma! Mamma!" (which is actually a rather normal occurrence around here) to which I replied "WHAT?" (in a somewhat irritated tone as I'd heard that litany of my name at least a hundred times this morning and figured they were probably fighting over the toothpaste or a barbie or something equally as IMPORTANT), the reply I got was "The toilet overflowed!" I yelled something to the effect of throw down towels as I gulped the last of my coffee and headed for the horrors that awaited me.

I expected water on the floor, not the flood that reached the door that greeted me. I started barking orders to Chaos and Destruction as they alternated looking amused and absolutely bewildered. More towels NOW! Go get a garbage bag NOW! Fetch the plunger pronto! It was time to get down and do battle with THE TOILET OF DOOM!!! I tossed towels down to soak up the biohazard covering the bathroom floor as I sloshed my way to face off with the vile beast. With Super Plunger in hand, I stared down into the mouth of the beast and muttered curses, vowing to exorcise the demons it contained. I plunged with purpose and when I thought it was safe, I stepped back and pressed down on the handle, praying for the swirl-swirl-woosh of a flushing toilet. But NO! The Evil beast spewed more liquid at my feet - which I quickly tossed my remaining dry towels on to avert anymore of a flood into my bedroom. I cursed aloud this time! I would not be beaten by a Demonic Toilet! With fire in my eyes and a renewed purpose I lunged forth with my Super Plunger in hand! I Plunged with force and fervor! I plunged with purpose! And finally I heard it, the noise I had been waiting for, a soft gurgle-gurgle and then the bowl emptied. Not quite trusting the deceitful toilet, I quickly gathered more DRY towels and slowly pressed down on the handle. Swirl-swirl-woosh. I had done it! I vanquished the evil toilet demons! The blockage from hell was gone! I could now flush!

Now, I have the added pleasure of washing ALL THOSE toilet water soaked towels and sanitizing my bathroom. Thank goodness for Clorox bathroom cleaner and a few hundred Clorox Cleanup wipes. I'm off to clean until a)I pass out from the fumes or b)the skin on my hands dissolves from the chemicals. What the hell, it will be clean though.