More Than You Cared To Know About Me

(Any question that doesn't apply to me I'll either make it more intersting or just fucking lie to make it more interesting)

1. Your name spelled backwards.
yduj - What the fuck? Is this a drunk test?
2. Where were your parents born?
Mom - San Antonio TX, Dad someplace in Vermont I think.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Porn
4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
Scilly's, a local Itallian place. mmmmm...
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
I don't go in pools, I fear that people have urinated in them and I refuse to swim in other people's waste. Also I refuse the scare people by wearing a bathing suit.
6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Does being the head of costuming count?
7. How many kids do you want?
Currently just the two I birthed, occasionally not even that many.
8. Type of music you dislike most?
rap, pop, anything that gives me homicidal yearnings.
9. Are you registered to vote?
Like I could NOT be registerd to vote with Mr. Politically Active Gay Man in the same house.
10. Do you have cable?
No, I have the internet.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Once and the guy driving it scared the shit out of me so I never did again.
12. Ever prank call anybody?
Hell yeah, I grew up before caller ID.
13. Ever get a parking ticket?
No, that's a stupid question.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving?
Either if I was drunk enough.
15. Farthest place you ever traveled.
Canada - yes I know that's lame.
16. Do you have a garden?
I have a collection of potted things that occasionally look nice outside my door, this I sometimes like to pretend is an actual garden and friends humor me.
17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
Dilbert. My former step father used to call me Dogbert because I'm basically EVIL.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Probably not, but I can fake it enough to make it through at the beginning of a sporting event.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower, morning. Baths creep me out after a few moments, sitting in ones own filth and all.
20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
Kill Bill vol. 1. I rented it a couple of weeks ago.
21. Favorite pizza topping?
peperoni and mushrooms or XXX ;o)
22. Chips or popcorn?
For what? Neither really. Dumb question. Better question: Vodka or Rum? Vodka!
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Some all day stuff that's call Rosey something or other. I really should write it down because I never remember when I need more and end up buying 6 or so of the wrong color before I find it again.
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
What? That doesn't even make sense. I've smoked cigarets and pot. I don't smoke anything now.
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Yeah right, that's a stupid question. Yeah I won the "Miss Biggest Butt" title.
26. Orange Juice or apple?
Depends on what booze I have to mix with it.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
The family, Wattaburger. Yeah, only fine dining for me.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Reeces Peanutbutter cups. Twix.
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
Last time K drug me to vote.
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Last November when my retarded tomato plant finally produced tomatoes.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
no
32. Are you a good cook?
Hell yeah.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
duh. Who DOESN'T?
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
No. Never even been tempted.
35. Sprite or 7-up?
Neither, stupid question again. Better question: Beer or wine coolers? Wine coolers are for gay men. I'd take beer over wine coolers.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Nooooooo.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Condoms.
38. Ever throw up in public?
Stupid question. New question: Ever have sex in public? yes.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Hmmm.... Both, I want it all.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I used to not believe in it, but then I met a fabulous man who I fell maddly in love with the moment I set eyes on him. I'm generally a skeptic and very jaded so I tried not to be 'in love' for a while - didn't change a thing, I still am in love.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
No, but I've worked one before. Want me to call and talk dirty to you?
42. Can ex’s be friends?
Yeah, K and I are still the best of friends.

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Father in law for heart attack.

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
So I've heard. Who cares really?
45. What message is on your answering machine?
Death threats
46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Cheri O'Teri has this bit she does where she plays this whacked out house wife. She did a skit with Brendon Fraiser at a pharmacy. It was hysterical.
47. What was the name of your first pet?
A gray cat named Smokey. Followed by another gray cat named Smokey and another named Smokey. I finally got the message that I was not destined to have a gray cat named Smokey and gave up on that one.
48. What is in your purse?
Well I don't carry a vibrator in there anymore so nothing interesting. I mean everyone carries condoms, lube and small sex toys.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Abuse BOB.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
XXX, Today and everyday -