Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Teaching Manners
Making Cabbage Patch write Thank You notes for her birthday gifts. I wrote out what she wanted to say so all she has to do is copy it letter for letter onto the card.
Our conversation:
Her: After writing the 'Dear Sarge, Red and Blondie,' "I'm going to the bathroom, okay?"
Me: "Okay."
Her: Pointing to the unfinished card as she walks away "You can finish writing that, okay?"
Me: "I don't think so."
Silly girl.
Making Cabbage Patch write Thank You notes for her birthday gifts. I wrote out what she wanted to say so all she has to do is copy it letter for letter onto the card.
Our conversation:
Her: After writing the 'Dear Sarge, Red and Blondie,' "I'm going to the bathroom, okay?"
Me: "Okay."
Her: Pointing to the unfinished card as she walks away "You can finish writing that, okay?"
Me: "I don't think so."
Silly girl.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
More Or Less
Things are better... more or less.
The actual issue is over... more or less.
Life is back on track... not really.
What happened? I really, really, really do not want to talk about it. I get angry just thinking about it and considering all I could have lost due to malicious lies. I get weary when I realize that though it is 'OVER' it's not really and I still have jump through hoops. And yet I still am optimistic that some good will come out of all of this, everything happens for a reason and that karmic balance of the universe will once again be restored. It has to, right?
Moving on... I'm so happy my Tiny Terrorists are home! They are sleeping right now and I have to fight the urge to run up the stairs, burst into their room just to snuggle them and breath in their kid vapors.
Speaking of kids... wanna see a picture of me as a little bitty kid? Of course you do!
I think I was maybe 2 in this picture. (See... my natural hair color really IS dark brown!)
How about something to scar every child for life? Let's put the fun back in disFUNctional!
A scary CLOWN! My mom as the SCARY CLOWN! No really, that's my mom. She loved clowns and she dressed up as the SCARY CLOWN a few times, I'm loath to admit that I actually made that damn clown outfit. Don't hate! I was only 12! How was I to know it would be completely disturbing?
And one of my favorites... my dad.
Daddy was so young! Just past 25 or 26. We were at the beach, D is in the foreground of the photo and I'm intruding in the photo in the back. I love this photo.
Also... thank you to all of you who sent prayers, thoughts, kind words, voodoo spells, etc. yesterday and today for me. I'm sure they all helped tremendously. As always, I'm humbled by the kindness of my friends. I truly am blessed to have you all as friends.
Things are better... more or less.
The actual issue is over... more or less.
Life is back on track... not really.
What happened? I really, really, really do not want to talk about it. I get angry just thinking about it and considering all I could have lost due to malicious lies. I get weary when I realize that though it is 'OVER' it's not really and I still have jump through hoops. And yet I still am optimistic that some good will come out of all of this, everything happens for a reason and that karmic balance of the universe will once again be restored. It has to, right?
Moving on... I'm so happy my Tiny Terrorists are home! They are sleeping right now and I have to fight the urge to run up the stairs, burst into their room just to snuggle them and breath in their kid vapors.
Speaking of kids... wanna see a picture of me as a little bitty kid? Of course you do!
I think I was maybe 2 in this picture. (See... my natural hair color really IS dark brown!)How about something to scar every child for life? Let's put the fun back in disFUNctional!
A scary CLOWN! My mom as the SCARY CLOWN! No really, that's my mom. She loved clowns and she dressed up as the SCARY CLOWN a few times, I'm loath to admit that I actually made that damn clown outfit. Don't hate! I was only 12! How was I to know it would be completely disturbing?
And one of my favorites... my dad.
Daddy was so young! Just past 25 or 26. We were at the beach, D is in the foreground of the photo and I'm intruding in the photo in the back. I love this photo.
Also... thank you to all of you who sent prayers, thoughts, kind words, voodoo spells, etc. yesterday and today for me. I'm sure they all helped tremendously. As always, I'm humbled by the kindness of my friends. I truly am blessed to have you all as friends.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
What A Weekend!
Wow, the luau was way fun. Penis CAKE! (No I won't post those photos and I won't explain either - if the powers that employ me were to find out about penis CAKE I'd be so fired! I'd appreciate it if anyone who does have photos of said cake, does NOT post them for obvious reasons. I'm proud of my work and amused by that cake, just don't post that pic. ;) )
I'm to tired to make a REAL post so it's just photos of the wedding and grooms cakes from Saturday.
Something pretty for the case.
Another case cake. It sold pretty quick.
Case cake, sold in 2 hours.
Grooms cake.
The wedding cake it matched. The bride LOVED this so much, she hugged me.
This one is my FAVORITE of the cakes though. It took the longest and just surprised the hell out of me by how beautiful it turned out.
Wow, the luau was way fun. Penis CAKE! (No I won't post those photos and I won't explain either - if the powers that employ me were to find out about penis CAKE I'd be so fired! I'd appreciate it if anyone who does have photos of said cake, does NOT post them for obvious reasons. I'm proud of my work and amused by that cake, just don't post that pic. ;) )
I'm to tired to make a REAL post so it's just photos of the wedding and grooms cakes from Saturday.
Something pretty for the case.
Another case cake. It sold pretty quick.
Case cake, sold in 2 hours.
Grooms cake.
The wedding cake it matched. The bride LOVED this so much, she hugged me.
This one is my FAVORITE of the cakes though. It took the longest and just surprised the hell out of me by how beautiful it turned out.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
The Day Of Bryan
Today was the Day of Bryan.
Purple, yellow and white.
Not sure the significants.
Then Bryan showed up to get CAKE.
I had the urge to go home and watch Life Of Brian.
This is my NEW favorite wedding cake.
All three tiers go on separate plates of different heights.
I'd show you how THAT would look, but my vendor fucked up and didn't send me the bottoms of the cake stands. They are being over nighted, guaranteed delivery of noon. I had to call my customer and get her to change her pick up to 1:30 pm instead of 10 am.
Tomorrow I have to finish the grooms cake for this order, then do the decor on the three tiered stacked cake that will be a replica of my display cake. I've already done that grooms cake.
Okay, off to bed now. 5 am is awfully early!
Today was the Day of Bryan.
Purple, yellow and white.
Not sure the significants.
Then Bryan showed up to get CAKE. I had the urge to go home and watch Life Of Brian.
This is my NEW favorite wedding cake. 
All three tiers go on separate plates of different heights.
I'd show you how THAT would look, but my vendor fucked up and didn't send me the bottoms of the cake stands. They are being over nighted, guaranteed delivery of noon. I had to call my customer and get her to change her pick up to 1:30 pm instead of 10 am. Tomorrow I have to finish the grooms cake for this order, then do the decor on the three tiered stacked cake that will be a replica of my display cake. I've already done that grooms cake.
Okay, off to bed now. 5 am is awfully early!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Day Of No Rest
Wow, day off. Sooooo busy. D back in town. All day out. Shopping, shopping, shopping. Got $20 in free stuff from HAPPY sales person we chatted up while D bought jeans. Got free chocolate from the Godiva guy we chatted up. Got a chair massage. Got called a bitch by a minimum wage earning cashier. Told a state trooper he was cutting in line and got him all flustered, though I was just kidding him, he still let us in front of him and told me he'd come visit me at the store. And now... I'm tired. good night!
Wow, day off. Sooooo busy. D back in town. All day out. Shopping, shopping, shopping. Got $20 in free stuff from HAPPY sales person we chatted up while D bought jeans. Got free chocolate from the Godiva guy we chatted up. Got a chair massage. Got called a bitch by a minimum wage earning cashier. Told a state trooper he was cutting in line and got him all flustered, though I was just kidding him, he still let us in front of him and told me he'd come visit me at the store. And now... I'm tired. good night!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Good Day
Got out of bed around 11 am. Colored my hair. Took shower. Shaved legs, etc. Got my ass kicked in Magic three times. Got birthday pressie! Magic cards and gift certificate to comic book & game store. *SQUEEEEEE!!!* Can't stop thinking about all the cool, fun stuff in the store that I want! My brain may explode. Happily!
Need to sleep now, so very tired. So happy, such a good day!
Got out of bed around 11 am. Colored my hair. Took shower. Shaved legs, etc. Got my ass kicked in Magic three times. Got birthday pressie! Magic cards and gift certificate to comic book & game store. *SQUEEEEEE!!!* Can't stop thinking about all the cool, fun stuff in the store that I want! My brain may explode. Happily!
Need to sleep now, so very tired. So happy, such a good day!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Why Other Bakeries Suck
I'd like to thank a local bakery just south of the one I work at for being a complete douchebag to one of my customers. My customer came to me last minute wanting to know if I could do a cake for them, I said if it was simple, yes. I told her any of the kits in the book are simple and then she asked me of she could have the cake half chocolate and half white, I said sure, we do that all the time. Then she told me that this other bakery told hey they couldn't do a half white and half chocolate cake for her. I corrected her, they WOULDN'T. Doing a cake half and half is easy, they just wanted to be jerks. I told her to come back in 45 minutes and I'd have her cake done - it only took 15 but I had some orders to take. She was happy.
Yesterday was a health inspection by the city. I had a list of things that we were in violation with. Our buckets (can't reuse the ones we've been reusing), the refridgerators (clean the insides better, replace the lights and put covers on the lights) and our vents (clean them). Today was inventory (yuck!). Then CAKES!
This was actually a cake I did on Sunday and just forgot to post. It was one where I matched the napkin. And, well it matches the napkin. Happy customer.
I haven't done a big puppy in a LONG time. This one is white cake with chocolate whipped icing. mmmmmmmm... Though every time I have to do a cake like this I end up with icing all over and today was no different, except it was all chocolate instead of the vanilla so I really looked a mess.
I totally love this! I added the extra 6 cupcakes around the bottom at the customer's request.
Okay, off to bed now.
I'd like to thank a local bakery just south of the one I work at for being a complete douchebag to one of my customers. My customer came to me last minute wanting to know if I could do a cake for them, I said if it was simple, yes. I told her any of the kits in the book are simple and then she asked me of she could have the cake half chocolate and half white, I said sure, we do that all the time. Then she told me that this other bakery told hey they couldn't do a half white and half chocolate cake for her. I corrected her, they WOULDN'T. Doing a cake half and half is easy, they just wanted to be jerks. I told her to come back in 45 minutes and I'd have her cake done - it only took 15 but I had some orders to take. She was happy.
Yesterday was a health inspection by the city. I had a list of things that we were in violation with. Our buckets (can't reuse the ones we've been reusing), the refridgerators (clean the insides better, replace the lights and put covers on the lights) and our vents (clean them). Today was inventory (yuck!). Then CAKES!
This was actually a cake I did on Sunday and just forgot to post. It was one where I matched the napkin. And, well it matches the napkin. Happy customer.
I haven't done a big puppy in a LONG time. This one is white cake with chocolate whipped icing. mmmmmmmm... Though every time I have to do a cake like this I end up with icing all over and today was no different, except it was all chocolate instead of the vanilla so I really looked a mess.
I totally love this! I added the extra 6 cupcakes around the bottom at the customer's request. Okay, off to bed now.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Sunday, August 03, 2008
My Own Personal Jesus
If you take a GOOD look at my cookie bruise you will see the image of Jesus in it. And by good I mean squint a little and be guided by 'faith' or what not. And before you tell me that I'm a nutter, I want you to take a look at these other 'MIRACULOUS' images of Jesus.
The Shroud of Turin. Which I just would like to add has been debunked though still has a strong following of believers.
Shower Jesus. A huge nasty water spot in a shower that inspired the owners of the house... to sell it for $2000 on eBay!
Tree Jesus. Somewhere in a park in NY. I'm not sure it actually looks like Jesus, I think it kind of looks like Yanni. Though back in the day Yanni was kind of rocking the JC look.
See? Savior/New Age Jazz Composer. A guy has to make some money some how.
And my personal favorite:
Cat Fur Jesus. Why is this my favorite? Because you have to do a lot of squinting or drinking to actually SEE an image of Jesus on this cat! Kind of like my bruise.
See? Jesus! Squint a little, you'll see it. Either that or a grey.
Anal probe anyone?
My coworker enjoyed the Jesus Bruise. This was our conversation:
Me: See my Jesus Bruise.
Her: hahahaha
Me: Squint a little, it's there.
Her: That's crazy.
Me: No crazier than seeing images of Jesus on things.
Her: *trying to ignore me*
Me: The latest one is in the fur of a cat.
Her: A cat?!?
Me: Seriously.
Her: That's crazy.
Me: Yup. We Jews don't do that stuff. We don't run around seeing images of Moses in things.
Her: No kidding. Who knows what Moses looks like anyway.
Me: Charlton Heston of course!
Moving on...
I seem to have been smited... smitten... smoted... er... punished for my Jesus Bruise antics. I have some irritating chest cough thing. It started as a bit of drainage and a tickle in my through now it's a lovely cough. I don't FEEL horrible so it might just be allergy sinus drainage cough thing. I did however make myself some preventative medicine tonight in the form of Jewish Penecillian, i.e. chicken soup with matzoh balls. mmmm... Should be right as rain soon.
NaBloPoMo theme for this month is HOT. Hot... hmmm... I live in Texas in August. I could totally punk out on posting every day and just post the weather because it's HOT right now. The high for today was 103 and tomorrow is supposed to be 104 with chances of thunder storms. Yay, hot and humid.
If you take a GOOD look at my cookie bruise you will see the image of Jesus in it. And by good I mean squint a little and be guided by 'faith' or what not. And before you tell me that I'm a nutter, I want you to take a look at these other 'MIRACULOUS' images of Jesus.
The Shroud of Turin. Which I just would like to add has been debunked though still has a strong following of believers.Shower Jesus. A huge nasty water spot in a shower that inspired the owners of the house... to sell it for $2000 on eBay!Tree Jesus. Somewhere in a park in NY. I'm not sure it actually looks like Jesus, I think it kind of looks like Yanni. Though back in the day Yanni was kind of rocking the JC look.See? Savior/New Age Jazz Composer. A guy has to make some money some how.And my personal favorite:
Cat Fur Jesus. Why is this my favorite? Because you have to do a lot of squinting or drinking to actually SEE an image of Jesus on this cat! Kind of like my bruise.
See? Jesus! Squint a little, you'll see it. Either that or a grey.Anal probe anyone? My coworker enjoyed the Jesus Bruise. This was our conversation:
Me: See my Jesus Bruise.
Her: hahahaha
Me: Squint a little, it's there.
Her: That's crazy.
Me: No crazier than seeing images of Jesus on things.
Her: *trying to ignore me*
Me: The latest one is in the fur of a cat.
Her: A cat?!?
Me: Seriously.
Her: That's crazy.
Me: Yup. We Jews don't do that stuff. We don't run around seeing images of Moses in things.
Her: No kidding. Who knows what Moses looks like anyway.
Me: Charlton Heston of course!
Moving on...
I seem to have been smited... smitten... smoted... er... punished for my Jesus Bruise antics. I have some irritating chest cough thing. It started as a bit of drainage and a tickle in my through now it's a lovely cough. I don't FEEL horrible so it might just be allergy sinus drainage cough thing. I did however make myself some preventative medicine tonight in the form of Jewish Penecillian, i.e. chicken soup with matzoh balls. mmmm... Should be right as rain soon.
NaBloPoMo theme for this month is HOT. Hot... hmmm... I live in Texas in August. I could totally punk out on posting every day and just post the weather because it's HOT right now. The high for today was 103 and tomorrow is supposed to be 104 with chances of thunder storms. Yay, hot and humid.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Birthday List - Part One
Since it's so near to my birthday I thought I'd make shopping for me* that much easier! There is always the old standbys that are ALWAYS on my gift lists - Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, The Rock, Batman, Bruce Willis, the entire cast of 300, Bruce Willis... you get the idea. This list is for those of you who either have trouble locating and kidnapping a celebrity or find it morally wrong for me to imprison someone for my cheap sexual fantasies (you prude!).
Hello Kitty - I luvs me some Hello Kitty! And Tokidoki for Hello Kitty is AWESOME! Cruise around the site, it's so cool! They have fabulous toys! Especially Mozzarella! How cute is that?!?!?!?!? I could just go into a coma from the cuteness.
Okay, that's enough for this morning. I'll give you a chance to take it all in and check your bank accounts. I need to go to work anyway. Just remember... 10 more shopping days until my birthday! So get that express shipping! ;)
*I kid! Don't shop for me! Just send me a funny e-card.
Since it's so near to my birthday I thought I'd make shopping for me* that much easier! There is always the old standbys that are ALWAYS on my gift lists - Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, The Rock, Batman, Bruce Willis, the entire cast of 300, Bruce Willis... you get the idea. This list is for those of you who either have trouble locating and kidnapping a celebrity or find it morally wrong for me to imprison someone for my cheap sexual fantasies (you prude!).
Hello Kitty - I luvs me some Hello Kitty! And Tokidoki for Hello Kitty is AWESOME! Cruise around the site, it's so cool! They have fabulous toys! Especially Mozzarella! How cute is that?!?!?!?!? I could just go into a coma from the cuteness.
Okay, that's enough for this morning. I'll give you a chance to take it all in and check your bank accounts. I need to go to work anyway. Just remember... 10 more shopping days until my birthday! So get that express shipping! ;)
*I kid! Don't shop for me! Just send me a funny e-card.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Pirate Cake
Went to Target with K to get a few things. Got home and realized that the chocolate didn't make it home. After K left discovered the COFFEE didn't either! DAMN!
I like how this turned out.
This cupcake goes with the next cake. The reason for the cupcake is that they invited a little girl who's allergic to just about EVERYTHING so it had to be a white cupcake with sparing amounts of white icing. I didn't have a pirate pick so I put a black cross on the cupcake with ribbon and then put the skull on that in white.
I love this cake! I did it WRONG though. I forgot the filling and 10 minutes before I was to leave my manager asked about the filled cake. Oops! Luckily it only took me 20 minutes to recreate this.
Went to Target with K to get a few things. Got home and realized that the chocolate didn't make it home. After K left discovered the COFFEE didn't either! DAMN!
I like how this turned out.
This cupcake goes with the next cake. The reason for the cupcake is that they invited a little girl who's allergic to just about EVERYTHING so it had to be a white cupcake with sparing amounts of white icing. I didn't have a pirate pick so I put a black cross on the cupcake with ribbon and then put the skull on that in white. 
I love this cake! I did it WRONG though. I forgot the filling and 10 minutes before I was to leave my manager asked about the filled cake. Oops! Luckily it only took me 20 minutes to recreate this. Thursday, July 31, 2008
Douchbaggery
When someone practices the art of being a douchebag.
Ex: "Sheesh, he must have a PHD in Douchebaggery. No wonder that presentation sucked."
Douchebaggeryness
Douchebaggery in a higher degree.
Ex: "You would not believe the douchebaggeryness that my ex exhibited last night. The entire evening was ruined."
When someone practices the art of being a douchebag.
Ex: "Sheesh, he must have a PHD in Douchebaggery. No wonder that presentation sucked."
Douchebaggeryness
Douchebaggery in a higher degree.
Ex: "You would not believe the douchebaggeryness that my ex exhibited last night. The entire evening was ruined."
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Kosher Bacon
Not really, but certified Kosher Bacon Salt. No shit. They even have a blog.
I enjoy their line "Whether you're a regular griller or a gourmet chef, are counting calories or are a vegetarian who craves mouth-watering bacon taste without the bacon guilt, this is what you've been waiting for." lol "...a vegetarian who craves mouth-watering bacon taste without the bacon guilt..." *snerk* Bacon Guilt. I like how it's 'certified Kosher', though I think it might not be appropriate to sprinkle on Passover dinner.
If you get this, you have to let me know if it's good. HAVE TO.
Not really, but certified Kosher Bacon Salt. No shit. They even have a blog.
I enjoy their line "Whether you're a regular griller or a gourmet chef, are counting calories or are a vegetarian who craves mouth-watering bacon taste without the bacon guilt, this is what you've been waiting for." lol "...a vegetarian who craves mouth-watering bacon taste without the bacon guilt..." *snerk* Bacon Guilt. I like how it's 'certified Kosher', though I think it might not be appropriate to sprinkle on Passover dinner.
If you get this, you have to let me know if it's good. HAVE TO.
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