The Blame Game

In thinking about yesterday I've decided to place blame for items where it is appropriate to do so... i.e. I will randomly and inappropriately blame others for my misfortunes.

1. The Near Death experience Of Shaving. Obviously this is K's fault. He bathed the Little People in my bath over the weekend. My completely safe dull razor that has been sitting on the side of my tub for months on end was missing, forcing me to replace it with a deadly sharp brand new razor of death after a few days of vain searching for above mentioned SAFE razor (and a few days of horribly hairy frightening pits and... um... Well you get the idea). I see now this was a failed murder attempt by K. HAH! I survived it! Try harder next time.
2. Broken Microwave. The aliens were obviously trying to contact me regarding their ongoing experiments on K. If I've told them once, I've told them a thousand times, the telephone is for talking, the microwave is for cooking and television is for mind controlling mental telepathy. This also falls under K's fault (I can't rightly blame the aliens now can I? That would just sound crazy).
   
3. Lack Of Hair Removal. Due to the wax not heating properly, my unattractive and undesirable hair was not ripped viciously from it's roots as intended. This is the fault of the bastard microwave's blatant betrayal of me. Bastard microwave! How you make me suffer!!! Again K must accept the blame for this as the microwave falls under his area of blame.
4. My Pathetic caffeine Addiction. Clearly this is K's fault. I don't think I need to explain, it's obvious that he is to blame.
   

I feel much better now. Knowing that none of the unpleasant events from yesterday were MY fault has eased my mind and cleared my conscience. K, well I feel sorry for him, how does he sleep at night? I suppose it all could have just been a case of BAD Karma but it's much more fun to blame K.