Some Days It Sucks To Be The Queen...
 
Today is one of them. Some time around noon I started feeling poorly. Nothing huge like vomiting every 15 minutes or bleeding out the eyeballs, just a bit of gastrointestinal upset which I thought would go away quickly. Not so, after a few hours, a fever and growing tiredness I realize this is hanging in to make me miserable today.
 
Prior to The Little People entering my life, whenever I felt ill I would retire to my bed to have delirious dreams and quietly sleep it of, telling anyone who disturbed me (even to make sure I was still alive) to leave me alone (as the words 'leave me the fuck alone' were generally far too much trouble at that time). Alone, asleep, in bed. That's how I prefer my sickness to proceed. I don't want to be a bother, and I don't want to be bothered. I will emerge when healthy, otherwise stay away from me and my bio-hazard zone.
 
Now that I am a MOM (AKA the Queen around here) I no longer have that luxury. The Little People do not understand that whilst mommy is sitting on the commode for the 10th time in an hour, it is best for them to not try to have a conversation with mom, beg for something or fight with one's sibling. Nor do they understand that mom needs a coma like state to recover and when mom is in coma like state it is ill advised to stack various things on the stool to facilitate reaching the chocolate syrup on the top shelf so as to cover most areas of the kitchen in aforementioned chocolate syrup and multi colored sprinkles. *sigh*
 
I have tried several things to facilitate my much needed rest. I've tried to make it a game and tell them that they are doctors and I'm the patient in a vain attempt to get some peace by compelling them to feel compassionate toward their ailing mother. That only succeeded in having them get their doctor toys and poke me in the arm with a crayon every 5 minutes to 'give me a shot' until I finally threatened their little lives if they poked me in the same spot one more time. I've tried napping with them, but inevitably that is the day they will NOT nap and instead repeatedly request a story from me or ask me 5 million questions about the conversation we had 4 months ago. The results are the same in either case, mom doesn't get healing rest.
 
Enter Disney Hell. Thank goodness for the VCR and DVD player. Occasionally I get lucky and find a movie they LOVE and will actually watch (as opposed to their usual watching for 5 minutes then wandering off to wreck havoc elsewhere). Generally these 'gems' are some horrible Disney creations that the mere thought of makes me break out in a cold sweat and makes me wish for hard liquor. Disney hell. When I am not feeling 100% this is perfect for a nap. The little people still use this time to wreck havoc in the house or torture the cat, but only about half as much as normal and thus I can get a few moments of sleep - albeit with the awful background noise of horrible Disney music going through my fevered brain to create demented Technicolor dreams that will haunt me and disturb me for days to come. But sleep. That is good.
 
Must go now, the little people have finally agreed upon a feature and the couch is calling for me.