Club Night

Saturday night I went out with some of my posse to the club. My posse. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I've always wanted to say that. So ANYWAY, after work on Saturday I took a long nap so I could stay out late with the girls. When I woke I immediately started to PANIC about what the fuck I was going to wear! I am SUCH a mom, I don't have JACK SHIT that's HOT and HIP enough to be considered CLUB WEAR. But I was determined to go out and get my freak on... Or whatever. So I called in K for the GAY opinion. I completely disregarded it when the outfit he favored was the tight one that showed off all my lumps and bulges. Yeah, hot and sexy - NOT! So in absolute desperation I opted for the outfit that I had worn to work - can you get ANY more pathetic that THAT?? I think not.

Whysper picked me up a bit after 10 and we headed out to meet up with FatChickie and Dora. GothK decided to join us at the club which kind of surprised me because I had heard from FatChickie and Dora that the club was Hip-Hop/RB on Saturdays and I just didn't think she would be cool to that. I wasn't all to sure I'd be cool to that myself, I'm not all that into hip-hop, but I was willing to check it out, and in the end my inner ghetto enjoyed the hell out of it.

The club was pretty full when we got there, lots of fine men to bump into. Also lots of manly women in the club. But most importantly, LOTS of fine men.

I won't bore you with all the details, just hit the high lights:

I wasn't dressed NEARLY slutty enough, but that did not mean I didn't get hit on.

Early on it was discovered that my retainer GLOWS in the black light. Yeah, that was just fucked up. I had the WHITEST GLOWING smile, it was truly FREAK FACTOR there.

GothK cracked me the fuck up because one of the bouncer guys kept hitting on her (she did look good though) . At one point we were sitting at the table and he says to her "So do you want to know my name?" She said "No not really, but you can tell me if you want to." ohhhhhh... Shot down!

FatChickie kept buying us drinks - gotta love that! Having 4 Orgasms back to back with your girl friends ROCKS!

Some hot mutha fucker kept rubbing up against me most of the night. Damn I hope he had a license for that thing, because he was packin!

There was this one white boy at the club that looked like he got lost on the way to his Amway convention. He was a cute stock broker looking guy in his white shirt and tie, but he looked out of place. One time at the bar, FatChickie said "I'll give you a dollar if you go talk to him." I laughed she upped it to $1.50, then $2 and $3 and finally a shot (now she was talking) so I walked over and introduced myself like she suggested. About the time I was playfully tugging at his tie and teasing him about being out of place, FatChickie dragged me back to the bar laughing saying she didn't think I would do it! When I told her what I told him, I was chastised and told that I WAS supposed to tell him that my friend had dared me to talk to him for a shot. THEN she WENT OVER TO THIS MAN AND CRUSHED HIS EGO BY TELLING HIM THAT!! Drunk women!

I picked up some hot, hot, hot soccer player who was trying to impress us with his soccer prowess. He was doing really well when he was all "Here feel my leg" and letting me touch his hot body, but when he started actually TALKING, well he was a real ASS HAT. Whatever! I turned away from him and left him to talk to FatChickie and hit on her. She finally sent me back over to him, with the warning that he was a JACKASS. I went back and he told me that he'd like to fuck me but didn't want to go way up to my place, to which I replied "That's okay, I don't want you at my place." End of the line for you dude, gonna have to go home and jack off. Sorry 'bout your luck.

At the end of the night when the lights came up, some fine Sean Puffy Combs look alike was asking for my number. When he asked where I 'stay' and I told him NORTH City, he was all "North City?? Way up there?" and I told him "Oh, I'm worth the drive." He got my number, but he hasn't called. hehehe... Like he WOULD!

We stopped off at Jack In The Box after as GothK would not agree to go to Krispe Kream. Damn it. If I hadn't decided that I was her bitch now, I'd have been pissed. (kidding about the bitch part)

Anyway, I got home at 3:30 am. It was fun, must do it again.