Santa Baby...

Cats hate Christmas.
Said something about it being a dog holiday and leaving a present in peoples shoes if we didn't get the stupid hat off her.

Hope you all got BETTER pressies than that. ;) Happy Christmas to all!

Newest and Most Awesome CAKE!





I know you've missed my luscious cakes.

JC's B-Day Cake

I finally did it, I made the baby J his birthday cake. I hated EVERY fucking moment of doing that. And not because I'm Jewish, just because it seemed so WRONG! I hope I don't get struck by lightening for that.
And now something less offensive. It's a thank you cake ordered by one of the local Catholic churches. I was very pleased with how it turned out.

Okay, enjoy the CAKE photos. The computer is up and running again, I promise there will be MORE CAKE photos to come.

Now I must go to WORK.

DORK


moar funny pictures

Chicken Little

Tonight Cabbage Patch was sitting next to me... or should I say on me, and when I complained she said "I'm keeping you warm!" i laugh and then say "Oh keeping me warm like a chicken keeps eggs warm?" she responds to the afirmative. She ponders the chicken warming the eggs and then proceeds to lay across me with her arms around my neck telling me that she's my CHICKEN WARMER! I burst out laughing... then gave her a wedgie. Life is good.

AWESOME Cake Of The Week



I made this cake this past Saturday. It was a lot of work but I was pleased with it.

Spacey Can Be Fun

And I don't mean Kevin Spacey, though I'm sure he's a lot of fun in his own right. I myself am spacey enough for anyone as I've been on a LOT of cold medicine to make it possible for me to be in public and give people the urge to spontaniously spray me with Lysol frequently.

And the fun of being on cold medicine and going to work. Woot! Me decorating cakes! YAY! Me taking orders for cakes! Awesome Me driving my sister's car! Woohoo! All things that warning on the side of the box says I shouldn't be doing (no operating heavy machinery or using brain).

Wanna see photos of cakes? Of course you do because otherwise I'll tell you about my cold medicine induced dream about zombies dressed in drag singing karaoke.


heh, the Jewish girl makes Jesus birthday cakes. (actually I am going to HAVE to make a cake that says Happy Birthday Jesus despite the fact that I feel that's rather inappropriate. I mean honestly, what kind of cake would Jesus eat? Does he want buttercream icing or whipped? Who am I to make that kind of decision? And what if his dad doesn't like the cake? You know it's never the kid who has a problem with the cake, it's always the parent.)
Oh no Army of Snow People!

mmmmmm frosting....

Ring! Ring!

Yes this is me just phoning it in. My computer is still broke and I'm still using K's lap top. Nothing new to report and I've misplaced my card reader for my camera so I can't show you AMAZING new cakes. Damn it. 

So how 'bout a QUIZ?!?

Your Score: The Prioress

You scored 2% Cardinal, 61% Monk, 55% Lady, and 45% Knight!

You are a moral person and are also highly intellectual. You like your solitude but are also kind and helpful to those around you. Guided by a belief in the goodness of mankind you will likely be christened a saint after your life is over.

You scored high as both the Lady and the Monk. You can try again to get a more precise description of either the Monk or the lady, or you can be happy that you're an individual.

Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I knew you'd like that.

Letters To Anyone

Because, just because...

Dear Large Corporation;

Hi, how are you? Me? I'm good. I just want to ask WTF is your problem? No really WTF? Why are you phoning in orders for MANY MANY large cakes that you need the next morning? AND WHY are you doing this at 3 pm? Are you fucked in the head? No I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just curious as to why your head seems to be up your ass that's all. I really LOVE your business, I just really hate having to work until 7 pm or 8 pm two nights in a row to do rush orders for you. 

So anyway, in the spirit of the holidays, I just want to ask you to pull your head out of your ass. 

Your friend the cake decorator,

Me

Dear Computer of Mine;

Why do you hate me? WHY won't you START? I've been soooooooo good to you! I loves you sooooo much! Why do you deny me my internet addiction?!?!?!?!?!

PLEASE GET BETTER! I'll bring you virtual chicken soup!

*sigh*

Sadly Suffering;

Judy

Dear Other Jews In My Neighborhood;

You bought my cake! Which is GOOD, but BAD since I had actually made that cake for ME. Yes, yes I know, my bad for putting it in the display case, but I just didn't think anyone would buy my cake! So... where are you? Seriously you should come by and see me, I can't believe there are more than three of us in the city. 

Stunned,

Jewdy

Dear Cats;

WHY DON'T YOU HELP AROUND THE HOUSE???? Sheesh, so lazy. 

Disgruntly yours,

Judy

ps stop waking me up in the middle of the night!

Moving on...

I got BUSINESS CARDS yesterday! They say Cake Decorator and 'Specializing in the Artistry of Cake Decorating'. I fucking LOVE that!  I know, I know, I'm easily amused. 

No cake photos today, maybe later.  Off to go take a shower! 

Catching Up So To Speak

Snow siblings! Special request cupcakes for the assistant manager for her grandkids.
Totally cute cake!
So damn tragic that I DROPPED IT! Right as I was getting it for the customer. It just slid right out of the box and smashed on the floor. I stood there in utter shock and horror as the customer giggled. Then I didn't want to touch any cakes the rest of the day... not that I could abide by that as I'm the CAKE DECORATOR. Luckily I was the only person upset by this cake disaster.
Yes, yes I know. It's a blue version of the pink cake. It's supposed to be.

And this one is just for the display case.

What a weekend it's been. Friday night I spent with Sarge and his offspring. We had a delightful dinner (I remembered the damn cake) and played a game much more fun than dreidel - Heroclix. I have to admit I felt slightly guilty about beating an adorable 9 year old. We watched 300 which I have to say, I utterly enjoyed. Though I am confused about a couple of things... like why Spartans favored wearing the leather Speedo all the time (just curious, not complaining) and why 300 wasn't actually marketed as a gay porn movie. The last time I saw that many muscled men in leather undies it was when I accidentally opened up some of K's porn. Goodness, it was thorougly hot and very enjoyable. I ended up getting home about 4 am because I'm rather STOOPID at times. I kept looking at the cable box watching the time... or so I thought... in actually it was just showing that it was on channel 252. For some reason it never dawned on me that it had stayed 2:52 am for an awful long time.

And then Saturday happened. I woke with a sinus headache, took a handful of pills, went to work late, got there 30 minutes late, still had a headache, worked, took more pills, still felt crappy, worked some more, dropped a cake, almost cried, remade the cake, didn't want to handle anymore cake for fear of dropping it, finished work, came home and took a really long nap. THEN Saturday got better! D came home with the most adorable and useful Hanukkah gift - a HELLO KITTY TOASTER OVEN!!! Today I've used it SEVERAL times - I made cinnamon toast, cheese toast, peanut butter toast, a quesadilla and two batches of chocolate chip cookies. I don't care that it took me 20 minutes to make my breakfast, it was in a HELLO KITTY TOASTER OVEN! And THAT made me HAPPY!

Another addition to Casa de Karmically Challenged has happened. D gave us a Wii. Oh dear deity in the heavens, this thing is addictive. I totally suck at EVERYTHING, but whatever!

Okay, must go play now!

Friday Cake Late


Soooooo pretty.


And TASTY!

Hanukkah! Mazel Tov!

Ahh yes! The Festival of Lights has started! Woohoo! I spent my first night of Hanukkah with Sarge and his extremely adorable offspring - who just happened to be rather adept at kicking my ass playing dreidel (the youngest one's best friend is Jewish so I'm thinking he was using a loaded dreidel). Unbelievably the latkes were a hit and completely devoured - I say unbelievably because my own progeny are so extremely picky they only LOVE about 3 latkes total per Hanukkah each year.

This is the lovely cake I made to take to Sarge and clan for the first night of Hanukkah.
Too fucking bad I FORGOT to take it! Well not really, I'm going to go back over later in the week to do another night of artery clogging goodness! I mean, to celebrate the Festival of Lights.
This is the most adorable Hanukkah pressie I got last night. Cupcakes! How cute is that?!?! I love it.


D gave me this today. It's my belated birthday present! I had to turn the flash off on my camera to take this picture because the opals on the side were to shiny and kept messing up the picture. It's so pretty!

Blast From The Past!


The Tiny Terrorist on the last day of Hanukkah 2003 - they would have been 4 and 2.

Holiday Cakes


I loved this igloo cake.

And for the first night of Hanukkah, I made a most spectacular cake. I don't expect it to sell, I believe my self and the Tiny Terrorists are the only Jews in the area. No biggie, I'll probably buy it for this weekend to celebrate with the kids.

Holiday Music





Now if that doesn't just put you in the holiday spirit, then you are dead inside.

Shana's B-day

Happy Birthday for Shana!
Hello Kitty ROCKS!


Shana and her cake.

Val!

The Birthday Girl and Jody!!


Pre tat inking.


The tat artist about to start on his art work.


Breathing through the pain!


Me and Jody!


The finished work. It's so pretty!

Pink Pussy Cake


Well what else did you think it would be? You perverts.

Divinyls lyrics - I Touch Myself

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

Chorus:
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one who makes me come running
You're the sun who makes me shine
When you're around I'm always laughing
I want to make you mine

I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you

Chorus

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

Chorus

I want you
I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you
I touch myself
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah

I, I, I, I, I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
Oh I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself

I touch myself (7x)
I honestly do
I touch myself (3x)
I honestly do
I touch myself...



I love that song. It's a good thing I have rechargeable batteries.

Insane Kids

Apparently my offspring were unbelieving that I actually BREAST FED them. While in a store I assured them that yes I did breast feed them. They continued to debate and then we walk right past a display of bottle nipples. Super Girl is trying to convince Cabbage Patch of the whole breast feeding so she points to the rubber nipples and says "She fed you from her boobs with these on." I said "Ah, no. I didn't." Super Girl looked at me incredulously and I explain that I didn't need any extra equipment to breast feed, that the boobs built to do the job. I think I may have scared my child for life.

Things That Do Suck

My NEW vacuum cleaner. YAY! It was CHEAP too! Woohoo! Bagless even.

Cake

I'm so damn tired of making this cake. I may tell people that I've retired this design and I'll never fucking make it again once it's December. Of course, I won't really, but I WANT to.

Look how CRAPTACULAR this cake is. I totally fucked up the writing and I was to damn tired and uncaring to redo it.

Tired now. Going to bed.

Things That Don't Suck

My job - it's so fucking cool. I spend most of my day just making pretty things that make people happy. It's gotta be kind of like being one of Santa's elves except without the reindeer crap.

My casa being nice and clean STILL! WOOHOO!

Hanukkah being sooooooo soon! I even dug out all my menorahs and candles.

Silence - halle-fucking-lujah, the kids are in bed and asleep! I think Cabbage Patch smoked a crack rock this afternoon because she talked NOT STOP right up until bed. It was insane, many times she was carrying on a conversation with the voices in her head.

Tamales for dinner - probably not Kosher, but I'm using a military attitude with them - Don't Ask, Don't Tell. They were TASTY.

My vacuum cleaner. No really it's not sucking. I fucking broke it tonight. (and technically it still does suck, the brush just doesn't turn anymore) I managed to snap two brand new belts that I put on. I'm not sure what the deal is, but I have the feeling that the only way to FIX this issue is to purchase a NEW vacuum. Ahhh yay me, now I know what I'm getting for Hanukkah.

Getting to play Call of Cthulhu last night. That was so fucking cool! And with Sarge which only made that much more AWESOME.

And the second most not sucking thing of the day... These CAKES! (Sorry the game stuff still rates the highest)


My Little Pony! Sheesh this is so freaking cute my brain almost exploded! I totally love it!


This, I have no idea what that stands for. AND that my dear Internet friends is where you come in, I'd appreciate you all commenting on what you think the acronyms stand for (please don't strain your Googling muscles trying to find the ACTUAL meaning, I just want you to reach deep within your depraved little minds and give meaning to those letters).

Okay, I'm off to bed now, I have to open the bakery, make 4 full sheet cakes AND get our delivery of 33 boxes tomorrow! Woohoo! Fun times.

Geektacular Evening

Just got back from playing CoC with Sarge and his group. It was so AWESOME! (CoC is my FAVORITE game EVAH!) Can it get any better? No... well maybe if I'd had multiple orgasms every time I rolled the dice or if Vin Diesel suddenly appeared on the table and gave me a lap dance... But... yeah, it was so great!!

And now... CAKE!

I'm not sure why the cake look blue because it's actually purple. The roses on top are lightly airbrushed purple. Maybe it won't sell and I'll be one of my display cakes!

Saturday Sweets

Ahhh yes, winter themed cakes. So happy to not do turkeys anymore. The photo is a little dark.
Snowman who can send you into a sugar coma.
Brown and white pup.
An igloo of buttercream icing! Woohoo!

Tired, need a nap.

How weird is this, I dream of decorating cakes. Then I HAVE to make make it real to stop dreaming of the cake. Kind of like the Field of Dreams for CAKE. If only it worked this way with my dreams about Bruce Willis and Vin Diesel.