Morning of HELL

No honestly it really was. If it didn't sound so damn awkward I could totally see Leonidas screaming to the Spartans that this morning they'd break fast in HELL. But then two little girls really don't SEEM all the menacing. Not until you spend EVERY SINGLE moment from the time you wake them until they grudgingly walk out the door to catch the school buss arguing with them. About EVERYTHING. Absolutely EVERYTHING. No really, EVERYTHING. First, for being woken up, second because they AREN'T sick and I refuse to believe they are, third because I have the audacity to expect them to eat breakfast, get a shower, brush teeth, get dressed, find their own clothes, wear the clothes I chose for them, get their stuff together... you get the picture... EVERYTHING. I actually told them I was thrilled they were going to school today so that I wouldn't have to spend ALL DAY LONG with them bitching at me. And I meant it. Luckily they were in a better mood by the time they returned home, they were no longer interested in arguing with me but were back to normal arguing with each other. Oh the joy.

Moving on to CAKE! I know you love the CAKE!

Showing a little love for my favorite firemen (which is just about ANY of them).
Ah this one. A little bribe for a little girl who just got a new baby brother/sister (not sure). Obviously the parents believe that by giving this little lady a pretty cake she will accept the interloper and accept him as one of the family instead of the usurper that he is. And by the time she DOES realize that the baby she thought that was so CUTE at the hospital is actually screamy and smelly and an attention stealer who WON'T GO AWAY no matter how many times she secretly wishes he/she would burst into flames and her world would go back to the perfect princess palace it used to be, filled with unicorns and puppies and pink kittens. And when she DOES ask her parents in a pleading ever so slightly whining voice to 'TAKE IT BACK TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!' her parents will remind her that they got her a pretty cake for being a 'big sister' now and that the noisy, sticky, smelly usurper is there forever to ruin her life. Or something like that... Well...That's how D explained my arrival into her life to me...
And the cake for the baby. Which is not exactly safe to feed to a baby, especially a newborn. But whatever, it's not my place to dictate to people who to feed CAKE to. My actual thought is that it's not really for the baby, as it's rather impractical, but for the mother who after giving birth really needs CAKE. I'm hoping that this isn't some lame sloppy attempt at a push gift from the baby daddy. I mean honestly, a $4 cake? LAME. Not that I'd know, I didn't get a push gift and come on, I gave birth to two kids for a gay man, I totally deserved a push gift. Eh whatever.

Off to bed now. Enjoy the CAKE! Remember... contact me if you are local and NEED Girl Scout cookies... you know you NEED them.