Insignificant

That's how I feel lately. I always joke about being invisible to people, but I really do feel that way. Unless someone needs something from me, I might as well just be invisible. That's about the only time people call is when they want something. My brother calls. He's lonely so he calls. I listen until I can't listen anymore. I feel bad because I want to hang up, but I do anyway. I don't call anyone, not really sure anyone wants to hear from me anyway. Well I do call XXX but I'm not even sure he wants to hear from me these days.

It's kind of weird to wake up and realize that no one really considers you to be a priority in their life. You are just not important to anyone other than yourself - and even then other people come first. Well I'm important to work... just that I show up. Otherwise nothing. No one consults me for MY plans (not that there are any), no one really wants my opinion (probably a good thing really - I know that most of you read this because you're at work and reading a book would be to obvious that you're slacking, looking at porn might get you fired), no one takes time out of their lives for me, it's okay really, I know everyone has a life of their own with priorities and I don't really expect anyone to make me one of theirs.

I guess there are advantages to being invisible.

I thik I'll become a hermit. Who would notice really? I just need to find a job that doesn't require me to leave the house. I can shop for groceries at midnight at a 24 hour store so I don't have to interact with anyone, hey even Mobile - they have food there don't they? ("Excuse me ma'am, is this banana organic?" "Huh? This is a gas station, are you gonna get the banana or not??"). I can order everything else off the internet and only interact with my children. They'll grow up thinking I'm an utter and complete freak, and they'll be right. It will give them interesting things to discuss with their therapist whey they are in their 20's having their first nervous breakdown.

I must go for now. Need to talk to the cats, discuss the possibility of adding more cats to the household - I mean what kind of recluse would I be if I didn't have far too many cats?