Children Are Mental Illness

I ask her if she wants lunch and she declines, then when I tell her it’s time for naps she looks at me shocked and says “But MOM, I haven’t had LUNCH YET?” What? 2 minutes prior she was basically telling me to stuff myself about lunch and now it’s all important.

I make lunch (gourmet packet of ramen noodles) and when she is informed that she has to EAT and can’t play on the computer any more, the rain starts. Thunder and lightening! A storm of epic proportions! The gnashing of teeth and stomping of feet. Up the stairs, into the bed room. I can hear her still wailing and yelling to the stuffed animals and dust balls about how she just wants to play the game! Oh the torture! Oh the humanity! How cruel I am!

For 5 minutes. Then the storm subsides as suddenly as it began. Down the stairs she comes, peering at me disapprovingly. I smirk, it’s funny to me. ‘Lunch!’ I say and she walks to the bowl of noodles going cold. Then it starts. “Mooooooooom. I didn’t want you to take a bite!” (yes, yes I did, I took a freaking bite of noodles while she was busy having a mental collapse over not playing the damn game, she didn’t even see me do it!) I ignore her. She persists walking right up to me and making sure I am looking RIGHT AT her and says “I didn’t want you to take a bite!” I laugh, but I’m prone to inappropriate laughter at times. She storms off to the kitchen and stands on the stool with her hands on her hips, me following with the bowl of noodles. “I didn’t want you to take a bite!” I finally say “Okay, I’m sorry, I took a bite. Do you want it in a pink bowl?” “I’m angry at you!” “Oh really, was that all the screaming about? Do you want them in a pink bowl?” stoic silence as she turns to leave the kitchen. “A pink bowl with a pretty pink fork!” Her eyes light up as she takes the bowl and goes to the table to eat lunch.

The temporary insanity has passed… for the moment. Dinner time may bring a relapse… or psychoactive drugs. Whatever.