Testing Day

Today was a day of trials and tests. All of them for ME. Yesterday where I burnt my hand and pinched my arm was a fucking paradise compared to today. Today was shitty mutha' fuckin' customer day. Go get a drink or something, I'm going to tell you all about it.

First most of the customers I came in contact with today had been lobotomized (well they SEEMED to have been). One very SPECIAL call came right before I went to lunch. a woman called the store wanting to know if I could put a waterfall on a wedding cake. I told her I didn't understand what she was talking about, was this a decoration of some sort. She said yes it was and kept repeating it was a waterfall. Water fall makes me think this:

The woman says she wants to know if I can put the waterfall on a different cake than she saw it on. I told her I didn't know, and asked again if the waterfall was a decoration. So she started talking to me like I was stupid - which just pissed me off. I said if she brought in a picture and came in we could talk, then she said she was on the store's website and saw it on a cake called Catherine. I told her to hold on so I could look in my wedding cake book and see what the fuck she was talking about - well I just told her to hold on and grabbed my wedding cake book. I go to page 26 where Catherine is and I see a cake with: (look below) A fucking FOUNTAIN! A fucking CAKE FOUNTAIN to be exact. I wanted to slap that bitch. I did say "Oh, that's called a FOUNTAIN." Then I went to lunch which brought a bright spot to my day as I got a chance to chat with my sweetie Sarge for a moment.
Oh yes, before I left I had done this lovely cake.
It's really this shade of pink, I didn't adjust the color on the previous photo - no will to change it.
And I did this cake. This cake actually took a bit of my time - I kept getting interupted by the lobotomized masses. I even have a lovely black stain of black dye snaking down my arm from having been interupted while air brushing this cake. Now earlier this week a woman came in with the napkin you see in the upper right of the photo. She said she wanted a cake to match the napkin and said she didn't want it iced in black icing because that tastes bad, I agreed with her and told her that I never do that unless it's requested and instead air brush the cakes which doesn't taste bad. We discussed this back and forth for a few minutes, I thought she understood that airbrushed black doesn't taste crappy or bitter and that she was okay with this. Then she mentioned that her daughter loved my cakes and really liked the ones with the scrolls on them. We talked a bit more and she was insistent that the cake match the napkin and then said I was to do whatever I wanted, just make it look good and match the napkin. The above is what I did - it matched the napkin and I think it's elegant yet simple and dramatic.

Upon returning from lunch I saw the woman standing at the counter with the cake and knew something was amiss. Seems she didn't like the cake. Seems she didn't want black at all and instead wanted it with the scrolls. She did however like the yellow/gold square in the middle with the star. So basically she didn't mean she wanted it to match the napkin at all. I told her I would scrape down the cake and re-do it. I was SEETHING by then. It didn't help that her crotchety old mother was there making comments "isn't that black going to seep into the cake?" No, no it won't. Icing doesn't seep into cakes dumbass. So.. this is what she ended up with. It's fine, it's pretty enough, but I don't like it because it DOESN'T MATCH.
So, that's it. I left after that so I wouldn't have to deal with anymore idiot customers and possibly kill someone.