8 Hours And Counting...
Until I'm with XXX. So what am I doing to keep myself from going absolutly bonkers (I lack patience)? I'm trying to make a list of important things to remember to bring.
Like...
Sexy underwear (CACIQUE undies rock!) but not UNsexy undies (somebody shoot me if I ever consider purchasing a girdle like that!).
And personal lubricant (Astroglide is my favorite, but I have a sample of K-Y Warming to try, I'd like to get some of the ID Millennium to try also.)
Can't forget the sex toys. Can't forget B.O.B. (though my vibrator isn't silver) or my vibrating egg and the Magic Touch Bullet Mini. I will however be leaving the "Big, shiney, black hummer" at home. Kidding, I don't even own one of THOSE - that was just for Petey (No I'm not explaining, I'd rather you wonder). And this just scares me! Not going to bring the Ben Wa Balls either, to be honest, I've never really figured out what's so good about them.
Gotta remember the silk scarves and blindfold. XXX already has a lovely set of leather restraints so no need to worry about that. Not to mention a fabulous flogger and a nice spanker.
That should just about do it. A change of clothes, my bag of toiletries and a book to read on the plane tucked in there with the other things on the list. It's going to be a fabulous weekend.
Off to fold more laundry and pack my Astroglide, etc.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Quiz
Saw this on my hot and sexy boyfriend, XXX's page.
Of course this makes me acting just a couple of years older than XXX acts. As if!
AND...
I'm counting the hours until I'll be Knocking Boots with XXX.
And now for something completly different...
*snort* I figured I'd be an afghan hound or something else with lots of hair! Pitty they didn't have a 'what cat are you?' quiz since I'm more of cat person than a dog person. Oh... a 'what rodent are you?' test would be funny. Hmmmm I think I need some coffee...
Final Quiz - I promise
*snicker* I do love that song.
Coffee now... need to get packing! 12 hours until I'm on a plane to XXX for a weekend of bliss!
Saw this on my hot and sexy boyfriend, XXX's page.
|
You Are 23 Years Old |
|
23 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Of course this makes me acting just a couple of years older than XXX acts. As if!
AND...
| It's Not Sex. It's ... : Knocking Boots |
I'm counting the hours until I'll be Knocking Boots with XXX.
And now for something completly different...
|
You Are a Boston Terrier Puppy |
Aggressive, wild, and rambunctious. Deep down, you're just a cuddle monster. |
*snort* I figured I'd be an afghan hound or something else with lots of hair! Pitty they didn't have a 'what cat are you?' quiz since I'm more of cat person than a dog person. Oh... a 'what rodent are you?' test would be funny. Hmmmm I think I need some coffee...
Final Quiz - I promise
|
I Believe In a Thing Called Love by The Darkness |
"I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day You got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK!" You played it cheesy and campy in 2004, but you know how to rock out. |
*snicker* I do love that song.
Coffee now... need to get packing! 12 hours until I'm on a plane to XXX for a weekend of bliss!
Thursday, January 13, 2005
How To Rip My Heart Out Of My Chest
And Make Me Feel Unmeasurable Guilt
Wake up this morning coughing, with a fever and all, then disolve into tears because I won't let you go to school. And when your daddy gets back from the store with medicine for you, look at me with big hopeful eyes and say "Now I can go to school?" *sigh*
Note: This only works if you are a wee child. Adults doing this crap just make me homicidal and that causes me to consult literature on how best to dispose of a body.
And Make Me Feel Unmeasurable Guilt
Wake up this morning coughing, with a fever and all, then disolve into tears because I won't let you go to school. And when your daddy gets back from the store with medicine for you, look at me with big hopeful eyes and say "Now I can go to school?" *sigh*
Note: This only works if you are a wee child. Adults doing this crap just make me homicidal and that causes me to consult literature on how best to dispose of a body.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Weekend In Paradise!!
This weekend I'm gonna be snuggling with my sweetie! I fly to SA Friday night and fly back on Sunday night. Ahhhh... a weekend with XXX.
In preparation for this fabulous weekend I got a book. Not just any book but a how-to sex book. Okay, it's not like I NEED a how-to book for that, we have some pretty spectacular sex, but ya know, there's nothing wrong with striving for perfection.
So what am I trying to perfect you may be asking yourself (or covering your eyes and running from the room in terror), why my oral abilities of course. I purchased a copy of The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio. Reading it now, will be practicing Fri-Sun, will let you know if it's worth the $... or XXX can let you know if it was money well spent.
This weekend I'm gonna be snuggling with my sweetie! I fly to SA Friday night and fly back on Sunday night. Ahhhh... a weekend with XXX.
In preparation for this fabulous weekend I got a book. Not just any book but a how-to sex book. Okay, it's not like I NEED a how-to book for that, we have some pretty spectacular sex, but ya know, there's nothing wrong with striving for perfection.
So what am I trying to perfect you may be asking yourself (or covering your eyes and running from the room in terror), why my oral abilities of course. I purchased a copy of The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio. Reading it now, will be practicing Fri-Sun, will let you know if it's worth the $... or XXX can let you know if it was money well spent.
My Trashy Ghetto Mamma Moment
Or
Bullys Have Bully Mothers
I've been quite busy, that's why I haven't posted lately. I'm still busy and have much to do, but I have to tell about the bully on the bus and my run in with his bitchass mother.
Monday my sister was over dropping off some stuff we are e-baying (gotta pay that ticket somehow!). As she was still here at 3:30 pm we drove to the bus stop to pick up Super Girl. I got out of D's pimped out SUV when the bus pulled up, Super Girl came running off the bus saying "Mom! Mom! He's going to beat me up!" she was scared. I asked her who and she pointed to the bully who was harassing her last week. As we walked to D's truck I assured her no one would beat her up then I turned to the bully and his brother as they were loitering around to hear what I was saying. I told him to leave my kid alone and keep his hands off her. Then I told him to go on home - several times actually. The bully and his brother mouthed off a few times and I continued to tell them the same thing. The boys were now near D's truck, and the bully had a rock in his hand. D get's really tweaked about her truck. Her truck got broken into and vandalized in November so just mentioning that it MIGHT hail can make her hyperventalate. But I digress, she told the boys to drop the rock, get away from her truck and get their asses home. We got in her truck for her to drive us back to my door and the little brats were standing in the street playing chicken with her. After a minute it occured to them that it wasn't the best of ideas to play chicken with her gigantic SUV. Anyway we went on home and I told D that I was going to talk to the bully's mother the next morning and ask her to tell him to stop threatening my child and I would also call the bus service provider and talk to the bus drive.
Tuesday morning at the bus stop I'm waiting for the bully's mother so I can have a civilized discussion with her. As she gets to shouting distance she starts yelling at me asking why I was cussing out her kids the day before. I tell her I didn't cuss at her kids. She starts cussing me telling me how I can't cuss her kids and all the kids were saying that I had cussed out her kids and she didn't cuss her kids (which is a fucking lie because I've heard her do it) and she'd never cuss my kid and how I better never cuss her kid again or she would call the police (said Po-lease) on me. No I wasn't silent during this at all, I quickly realized that bitch wasn't listening and I started yelling back at her that I hadn't cussed her child, that he needed to stop threatening my kid or I would be the one calling the police. The yelling went back and forth for about 5 minutes, she finally shut her fuck ignorant mouth after I turned and walked away from her, but she was asking other kids if they had told their mother's that I had cussed them out and when they said no she said she was going to tell them.
So I call my sister when I get home after I cleaned my living room and calmed down a bit. I told her what happened and she mentioned that when she left that the bully and his brother were blocking the street again and I told her to call the managers of the townhouses I live in. She hung up with me and called them. She called back in 10 minutes and told me that my manager told her that in the future to call the police and her if the brats were blocking the road again as it's not the first time these kids have done this. The manager also wanted me to call her regarding that mornings incident. I explained to the manager what had happened, she asked me where the woman lived and then told me that that person had already been served a 30 day eviction notice due to other complaints about her unruly kids and that she had to be out by February 6th. She went on to say that if there were any other incidents of children blocking cars I was to call the police and her and this woman would receive a 24 hours to evict notice as the management has had enough of this family and them getting a criminal complaint would be the last straw. It was a very informative call as I learned that the new management that took over in September was working hard to get rid of Welfare Momma and others like her and working hard to keep good tenants like us. So apparently between October and the beginning of January there had been enough complaints regarding Welfare Momma's kids that they were given the evict notice. (I'm now wondering if the there will be a big block party when she's gone.)
But wait! There's more! When I went to pick up Super Girl from the bus I notice a mom standing out there that I had not seen before. After the kids got off the bus, I saw the mother talking to her son and heard her asking him if I was the woman who had swore at him. I stuck around as I knew this must be the mom that Welfare Momma had talked to. Her son shook his head no and she approached me asking if her son had been involved in an incident yesterday. I told her no and briefly explained that the incident in question involved an older child threatening to beat up my child and had nothing to do with John-John. She asked if I had spoken to that childs mother and I told her yes that the mother had been out yelling at me just that morning, but the incident was taken care of and had nothing to do with her little boy. She was satisfied and left.
Sheesh!
Or
Bullys Have Bully Mothers
I've been quite busy, that's why I haven't posted lately. I'm still busy and have much to do, but I have to tell about the bully on the bus and my run in with his bitchass mother.
Monday my sister was over dropping off some stuff we are e-baying (gotta pay that ticket somehow!). As she was still here at 3:30 pm we drove to the bus stop to pick up Super Girl. I got out of D's pimped out SUV when the bus pulled up, Super Girl came running off the bus saying "Mom! Mom! He's going to beat me up!" she was scared. I asked her who and she pointed to the bully who was harassing her last week. As we walked to D's truck I assured her no one would beat her up then I turned to the bully and his brother as they were loitering around to hear what I was saying. I told him to leave my kid alone and keep his hands off her. Then I told him to go on home - several times actually. The bully and his brother mouthed off a few times and I continued to tell them the same thing. The boys were now near D's truck, and the bully had a rock in his hand. D get's really tweaked about her truck. Her truck got broken into and vandalized in November so just mentioning that it MIGHT hail can make her hyperventalate. But I digress, she told the boys to drop the rock, get away from her truck and get their asses home. We got in her truck for her to drive us back to my door and the little brats were standing in the street playing chicken with her. After a minute it occured to them that it wasn't the best of ideas to play chicken with her gigantic SUV. Anyway we went on home and I told D that I was going to talk to the bully's mother the next morning and ask her to tell him to stop threatening my child and I would also call the bus service provider and talk to the bus drive.
Tuesday morning at the bus stop I'm waiting for the bully's mother so I can have a civilized discussion with her. As she gets to shouting distance she starts yelling at me asking why I was cussing out her kids the day before. I tell her I didn't cuss at her kids. She starts cussing me telling me how I can't cuss her kids and all the kids were saying that I had cussed out her kids and she didn't cuss her kids (which is a fucking lie because I've heard her do it) and she'd never cuss my kid and how I better never cuss her kid again or she would call the police (said Po-lease) on me. No I wasn't silent during this at all, I quickly realized that bitch wasn't listening and I started yelling back at her that I hadn't cussed her child, that he needed to stop threatening my kid or I would be the one calling the police. The yelling went back and forth for about 5 minutes, she finally shut her fuck ignorant mouth after I turned and walked away from her, but she was asking other kids if they had told their mother's that I had cussed them out and when they said no she said she was going to tell them.
So I call my sister when I get home after I cleaned my living room and calmed down a bit. I told her what happened and she mentioned that when she left that the bully and his brother were blocking the street again and I told her to call the managers of the townhouses I live in. She hung up with me and called them. She called back in 10 minutes and told me that my manager told her that in the future to call the police and her if the brats were blocking the road again as it's not the first time these kids have done this. The manager also wanted me to call her regarding that mornings incident. I explained to the manager what had happened, she asked me where the woman lived and then told me that that person had already been served a 30 day eviction notice due to other complaints about her unruly kids and that she had to be out by February 6th. She went on to say that if there were any other incidents of children blocking cars I was to call the police and her and this woman would receive a 24 hours to evict notice as the management has had enough of this family and them getting a criminal complaint would be the last straw. It was a very informative call as I learned that the new management that took over in September was working hard to get rid of Welfare Momma and others like her and working hard to keep good tenants like us. So apparently between October and the beginning of January there had been enough complaints regarding Welfare Momma's kids that they were given the evict notice. (I'm now wondering if the there will be a big block party when she's gone.)
But wait! There's more! When I went to pick up Super Girl from the bus I notice a mom standing out there that I had not seen before. After the kids got off the bus, I saw the mother talking to her son and heard her asking him if I was the woman who had swore at him. I stuck around as I knew this must be the mom that Welfare Momma had talked to. Her son shook his head no and she approached me asking if her son had been involved in an incident yesterday. I told her no and briefly explained that the incident in question involved an older child threatening to beat up my child and had nothing to do with John-John. She asked if I had spoken to that childs mother and I told her yes that the mother had been out yelling at me just that morning, but the incident was taken care of and had nothing to do with her little boy. She was satisfied and left.
Sheesh!
Friday, January 07, 2005
Life Lesson #396
Always Check Before You Sit
That's a rule I live by when I use a public restroom, I generally don't worry about it when I'm in the sanctity of my own bathroom. As it's MY bathroom I'm pretty confident of the paper levels as I'm the one who maintains that bathroom. I have toilet paper confidence when it comes to my bathroom. Yesterday my TP Confidence was shaken, the sanctity of my sacred bathroom was disturbed. As I reached for TP I was greeted with a sad empty roll. Then I remembered, one should ALWAYS check TP levels before sitting and commiting. That of course leads to the next lesson...
Life Lesson #397
Never Trust A Toddler To Fetch TP
Being in the above situation left me with no alternative but to send Cabbage Patch on a mission to procure TP from the upstairs bathroom. I gave her specific instructions, watched her leave and waited, waited, waited for what seemed an eternity as my butt started too go numb. She finally returned empty handed claiming "Dere's no toilet paper up dere." (which I knew was completly in accurate.) I questioned her about where she looked briefly before I realized what a pointless endevor it was and grabbed some Kleenex to take care of things (yes I know I should have just done that first, but I really thought "Go upstairs to daddy's bathroom and get some toilet paper" was an easy enough task, and since she was loitering in the bathroom as I peed, I thought I'd just get new TP and not use up all the tissue, silly me).
Live and learn.
Always Check Before You Sit
That's a rule I live by when I use a public restroom, I generally don't worry about it when I'm in the sanctity of my own bathroom. As it's MY bathroom I'm pretty confident of the paper levels as I'm the one who maintains that bathroom. I have toilet paper confidence when it comes to my bathroom. Yesterday my TP Confidence was shaken, the sanctity of my sacred bathroom was disturbed. As I reached for TP I was greeted with a sad empty roll. Then I remembered, one should ALWAYS check TP levels before sitting and commiting. That of course leads to the next lesson...
Life Lesson #397
Never Trust A Toddler To Fetch TP
Being in the above situation left me with no alternative but to send Cabbage Patch on a mission to procure TP from the upstairs bathroom. I gave her specific instructions, watched her leave and waited, waited, waited for what seemed an eternity as my butt started too go numb. She finally returned empty handed claiming "Dere's no toilet paper up dere." (which I knew was completly in accurate.) I questioned her about where she looked briefly before I realized what a pointless endevor it was and grabbed some Kleenex to take care of things (yes I know I should have just done that first, but I really thought "Go upstairs to daddy's bathroom and get some toilet paper" was an easy enough task, and since she was loitering in the bathroom as I peed, I thought I'd just get new TP and not use up all the tissue, silly me).
Live and learn.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Showing My Intelect
Or
Making It Obvious I'm An Idiot
The other night K and I were having a discussion about literature. I can't remember the exact details other than my stinging humiliation of being utterly and totally wrong after pompously professing my great knowledge of this subject because I did after all take accelerated English in high school and did quite well in college English.
What was I wrong about? Whether it was The Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner or Billy Budd that had an albatros in it.
It was the first one mentioned, though I SWORE it was Billy Budd. *sigh* We even bet on it.
In my own defence (my desperate attempt to save face actually) both works are HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE and out right painful to read. I actually did not READ either completly (well I did have to suffer through listening to the tape of the poem in class - kept falling asleep and then we read part of Billy Budd in class, again I had trouble focusing my consiousness). I read notes on it and hoped I would be sitting near enough to someone to cheat my way through the test (I wasn't so lucky on either test). So basically I didn't have a fucking clue what I was talking about.
I admit it, I am a semi-college educated dork and I can't remember jack of what I learned in high school. (I told them that I'd never need geometry, but NOOOOOOOOO they still made me take it!)
Or
Making It Obvious I'm An Idiot
The other night K and I were having a discussion about literature. I can't remember the exact details other than my stinging humiliation of being utterly and totally wrong after pompously professing my great knowledge of this subject because I did after all take accelerated English in high school and did quite well in college English.
What was I wrong about? Whether it was The Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner or Billy Budd that had an albatros in it.
It was the first one mentioned, though I SWORE it was Billy Budd. *sigh* We even bet on it.
In my own defence (my desperate attempt to save face actually) both works are HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE and out right painful to read. I actually did not READ either completly (well I did have to suffer through listening to the tape of the poem in class - kept falling asleep and then we read part of Billy Budd in class, again I had trouble focusing my consiousness). I read notes on it and hoped I would be sitting near enough to someone to cheat my way through the test (I wasn't so lucky on either test). So basically I didn't have a fucking clue what I was talking about.
I admit it, I am a semi-college educated dork and I can't remember jack of what I learned in high school. (I told them that I'd never need geometry, but NOOOOOOOOO they still made me take it!)
Laughing Out Loud
This morning my hot sexy boyfriend XXX called me and casually told me to visit a site that led to this. (not work safe, don't view at work, don't say I didn't warn you) I burst out laughing and nearly forgot about cliking on the link to RentAMidget. (which is also very funny). After looking at The Accomodater I paged down, still giggling and saw The Executive... and got to laughing again as I thought of all the Executives I used to work at in the corporate world. heh... I may never be able to hold an office job again.
And off that SAME page, I found this Spank Me kit, look at the description... I'm no expert on spanking, but I'm not Warming Massage Oil, Peppermint Cooling Cream, Refreshing Wet Wipe and Mood Setting Tea Lights are all that necessary, but I'm certainly curious about the Erotic Spanking Guide. hmmmm....
This morning my hot sexy boyfriend XXX called me and casually told me to visit a site that led to this. (not work safe, don't view at work, don't say I didn't warn you) I burst out laughing and nearly forgot about cliking on the link to RentAMidget. (which is also very funny). After looking at The Accomodater I paged down, still giggling and saw The Executive... and got to laughing again as I thought of all the Executives I used to work at in the corporate world. heh... I may never be able to hold an office job again.
And off that SAME page, I found this Spank Me kit, look at the description... I'm no expert on spanking, but I'm not Warming Massage Oil, Peppermint Cooling Cream, Refreshing Wet Wipe and Mood Setting Tea Lights are all that necessary, but I'm certainly curious about the Erotic Spanking Guide. hmmmm....
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Mommy Brag Time
Today Super Girl brought her report card home. She made all 3's (which is where right where she should be)! And she got a certificate for being the most improved student (I think it was refering to more her behavior, not her grades as she had mostly 3's last grading period) and a certificate for perfect attendance this 9 weeks as well.
I'm so darn proud of her I got all teary eyed!
Bus Fuss
When Super Girl got off the bus today she tells me that someone was trying to choke her on the bus (she didn't have any marks on her so apparently they didn't hurt her). Unfortunately the regular bus driver has been gone the past two days and that means it's utter chaos on the bus. Super Girl pointed out the kid who was trying to choke her as he got of the bus. I was very angry at this point. I asked the kid what was he doing to my kid. This is the kid of Welfare Momma. This is the kid who has been suspended from the bus for a month. He (and his brother I think) claimed they didn't do anything to her, that she was sitting in the front of the bus where she usually does and they were in the back. I had already ask Super Girl where she was sitting and she had told me that she was in the back (where she's not supposed to be). This kid got smart with me and I told him that he better keep his fucking hands off my kid. Yes I did swear at a kid. I couldn't help it. I'm tired of that kid bullying other kids.
Yesterday as we walked home he and his brother started yelling insults at Cody, telling him "Shut up fat boy!" and saying shit like "Yo mamma is so fat..." (not that they have any room to say that shit, their mamma is bigger than me and Cody's mom put together). They kept it up for a few minutes. It pissed me off, but I didn't say anything, just urged the kids to ignore the little assholes. The protective mother in me wanted to take up for Cody, but I know that wasn't really my place. I remember being the Fat Kid and I would have been mortified if someone's mother would have taken up for me - horribly embarrased and probably teased even more. Cody is like 11 or 12 and he's pudgy and he's a really nice kid. I know it hurt when the kids were teasing him, he got really quiet. I know I did the 'right' thing in the mom area by encouraging the kids to ignore the little brats, but I couldn't help feeling like I didn't do enough. *sigh* Being a mom is hard some days.
Today Super Girl brought her report card home. She made all 3's (which is where right where she should be)! And she got a certificate for being the most improved student (I think it was refering to more her behavior, not her grades as she had mostly 3's last grading period) and a certificate for perfect attendance this 9 weeks as well.
I'm so darn proud of her I got all teary eyed!
Bus Fuss
When Super Girl got off the bus today she tells me that someone was trying to choke her on the bus (she didn't have any marks on her so apparently they didn't hurt her). Unfortunately the regular bus driver has been gone the past two days and that means it's utter chaos on the bus. Super Girl pointed out the kid who was trying to choke her as he got of the bus. I was very angry at this point. I asked the kid what was he doing to my kid. This is the kid of Welfare Momma. This is the kid who has been suspended from the bus for a month. He (and his brother I think) claimed they didn't do anything to her, that she was sitting in the front of the bus where she usually does and they were in the back. I had already ask Super Girl where she was sitting and she had told me that she was in the back (where she's not supposed to be). This kid got smart with me and I told him that he better keep his fucking hands off my kid. Yes I did swear at a kid. I couldn't help it. I'm tired of that kid bullying other kids.
Yesterday as we walked home he and his brother started yelling insults at Cody, telling him "Shut up fat boy!" and saying shit like "Yo mamma is so fat..." (not that they have any room to say that shit, their mamma is bigger than me and Cody's mom put together). They kept it up for a few minutes. It pissed me off, but I didn't say anything, just urged the kids to ignore the little assholes. The protective mother in me wanted to take up for Cody, but I know that wasn't really my place. I remember being the Fat Kid and I would have been mortified if someone's mother would have taken up for me - horribly embarrased and probably teased even more. Cody is like 11 or 12 and he's pudgy and he's a really nice kid. I know it hurt when the kids were teasing him, he got really quiet. I know I did the 'right' thing in the mom area by encouraging the kids to ignore the little brats, but I couldn't help feeling like I didn't do enough. *sigh* Being a mom is hard some days.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
New Years Eve and Day
Pardon me for being a lazy ass about reporting on my NYE party and NYD party. I've been busy having horrible headaches for the past couple of days. I've taken some medicine (actually the stuff that made me all whacked out at a game where I had the brain shark on my head) so please excuse me if this post get's whacked out and makes no sense (I still have a headache too).
Me and My Date
I left for the party with the Rennies about 7:30 pm (with fabulous hair I might add). Since XXX was miles away at a different party I took Angry Albino Sock Monkey as my date for the evening. We had a long discussion on the way to the party about him not embarassing me by getting sloppy drunk or getting all touchy feely with me (or anyone else for that matter - nothing worse than being felt up by a drunk monkey). He promised me he would be on his best behavior (well actually he let out a string of expletives that I won't repeat and said something like "You'll have to fucking lock me in the damn trunk to keep me from the booze and ho's!").
We arrived shortly after 8 pm. I lugged in the ice and food (fucking monkey didn't even lift a finger to help). Then I made a drink. Lime vodka is rather odd but nice.
Some people were out on the deck shooting the flint locks when I arrived (the party was north of where I live, out in the country so guns and fireworks were on the agenda).
I didn't know to many people at the party so I just wandered around with AASM (who they kept calling the EVIL MONKEY and saying he was creepy - which he loved). After a short time they put in An Evening With Kevin Smith. At this point I wasn't sure this was going to be such a good party - I'm not really into parties where we all sit around and watch movies, but what the fuck, the alternatives for me were to go home and spend the evening watching movies with my gay husband, so I sat and drank and watched. The movie was DVD was actually pretty damn funny.
The monkey made me take that photo. We were in the bathroom.
More people showed up. AASM started giving Laurie the eye and was a pure ass to me the rest of the night. After the first DVD everyone headed out on the deck and it was time for more fire works. (at one point one of the roman candle thingies fell over and shot it's last one toward my car. Gasps from everyone on the deck and someone said "Who's car is that?" To which I replied calmly "That's my fucking car! Don't you hit my fucking car or I'll kick your ass - and I'm sober so I can fucking do it!" The shot actually went OVER my car and after about 60 seconds it went off lighting up my car spectacularly - wish I had gotten a picture of that!)
They saved the best fireworks for midnight - it was very cool. At midnight I kissed that evil little monkey even though he was still trying to get his hands on Laurie. Bastard monkey. *sigh* made me miss XXX.
I left the party about 1 am as I had to work on Saturday morning so I needed to get a wee bit of sleep. Right before I left Laurie expressed her intrest in AASM and her desire to have him. He nearly broke my arm leaping to her. I made a quick deal with her, ya know since she was taking my date. I pimped his ass out with the words "How much ya got on ya?" The deal was done and I left empty handed (and cash stuffed in my bra). I am the Monkey Pimp!
And I still looked good when I got home.
(*note* I didn't include any photos of people from the party as you don't know them and wouldn't give a crap)
XXX will have to come to the next party, the party was cool and all but I didn't know everyone all that much and it's so much more fun to be at a party with someone you can whisper little things to and point and laugh together.
New Years Day Party
This was actually just our normally scheduled game night but it turned into as party as the only people who could show were The Postman and Giggles and Petey and The Bear. Petey came prepared with supplies to make Irish Coffee.
I didn't take even one damn photo! And I didn't even get a wee bit drunk either. Hmmm.. I wonder if there is a connection between me photo documenting mine and Petey's decent into drunkenness and our drinking... dunno.
We had a delightful time playing games, talking, eating and drinking. I made some of the traditional New Years foods - black eyed pea dip, Greek coin cake, lentils and of course black eyed peas. Last year I think I made a shit load more but I also didn't have to work that day.
All in all it was a damn good start to the New Year. And in 10 days this new year will get even better. ;o)
Pardon me for being a lazy ass about reporting on my NYE party and NYD party. I've been busy having horrible headaches for the past couple of days. I've taken some medicine (actually the stuff that made me all whacked out at a game where I had the brain shark on my head) so please excuse me if this post get's whacked out and makes no sense (I still have a headache too).
Me and My Date
I left for the party with the Rennies about 7:30 pm (with fabulous hair I might add). Since XXX was miles away at a different party I took Angry Albino Sock Monkey as my date for the evening. We had a long discussion on the way to the party about him not embarassing me by getting sloppy drunk or getting all touchy feely with me (or anyone else for that matter - nothing worse than being felt up by a drunk monkey). He promised me he would be on his best behavior (well actually he let out a string of expletives that I won't repeat and said something like "You'll have to fucking lock me in the damn trunk to keep me from the booze and ho's!").
We arrived shortly after 8 pm. I lugged in the ice and food (fucking monkey didn't even lift a finger to help). Then I made a drink. Lime vodka is rather odd but nice.
Some people were out on the deck shooting the flint locks when I arrived (the party was north of where I live, out in the country so guns and fireworks were on the agenda).
I didn't know to many people at the party so I just wandered around with AASM (who they kept calling the EVIL MONKEY and saying he was creepy - which he loved). After a short time they put in An Evening With Kevin Smith. At this point I wasn't sure this was going to be such a good party - I'm not really into parties where we all sit around and watch movies, but what the fuck, the alternatives for me were to go home and spend the evening watching movies with my gay husband, so I sat and drank and watched. The movie was DVD was actually pretty damn funny.
The monkey made me take that photo. We were in the bathroom.
More people showed up. AASM started giving Laurie the eye and was a pure ass to me the rest of the night. After the first DVD everyone headed out on the deck and it was time for more fire works. (at one point one of the roman candle thingies fell over and shot it's last one toward my car. Gasps from everyone on the deck and someone said "Who's car is that?" To which I replied calmly "That's my fucking car! Don't you hit my fucking car or I'll kick your ass - and I'm sober so I can fucking do it!" The shot actually went OVER my car and after about 60 seconds it went off lighting up my car spectacularly - wish I had gotten a picture of that!)
They saved the best fireworks for midnight - it was very cool. At midnight I kissed that evil little monkey even though he was still trying to get his hands on Laurie. Bastard monkey. *sigh* made me miss XXX.
I left the party about 1 am as I had to work on Saturday morning so I needed to get a wee bit of sleep. Right before I left Laurie expressed her intrest in AASM and her desire to have him. He nearly broke my arm leaping to her. I made a quick deal with her, ya know since she was taking my date. I pimped his ass out with the words "How much ya got on ya?" The deal was done and I left empty handed (and cash stuffed in my bra). I am the Monkey Pimp!
And I still looked good when I got home.
(*note* I didn't include any photos of people from the party as you don't know them and wouldn't give a crap)
XXX will have to come to the next party, the party was cool and all but I didn't know everyone all that much and it's so much more fun to be at a party with someone you can whisper little things to and point and laugh together.
New Years Day Party
This was actually just our normally scheduled game night but it turned into as party as the only people who could show were The Postman and Giggles and Petey and The Bear. Petey came prepared with supplies to make Irish Coffee.
I didn't take even one damn photo! And I didn't even get a wee bit drunk either. Hmmm.. I wonder if there is a connection between me photo documenting mine and Petey's decent into drunkenness and our drinking... dunno.
We had a delightful time playing games, talking, eating and drinking. I made some of the traditional New Years foods - black eyed pea dip, Greek coin cake, lentils and of course black eyed peas. Last year I think I made a shit load more but I also didn't have to work that day.
All in all it was a damn good start to the New Year. And in 10 days this new year will get even better. ;o)
Monday, January 03, 2005
Rainy Days
It's been raining a lot here lately. Today it rained all morning and eased off in the afternoon. It wasn't raining at 3:30 pm when Super Girl got out of school. When she got off the bus today her first words were "Mamma! The bridge is flooded over!" When I asked her to clarify, she and several of her school mates informed me that the creek was flooded and the water was over part of the road and was flooding into the lake. I promised Super Girl that we would head home to grab my camera and go to the lake to investigate.
Boy was I surprised to see just how much water was there. Many parts of the trail around the lake were completly inaccessable for the water pouring over from the creek that runs next to the lake. The bridge we walk over to go to Super Girl's dance class was completly submerged. Now that has happened before, but not to this extent. Usually the water would be too high and would be rushing over the small low bridge but today there was no sign of the bridge at all.
The Little People were amazed by the waters. I was amazed as well. I spoke to some other people standing around gawking at the water, no one had ever seen the waters quite that high.
I'm hopeing that the rains will let up long enough for the waters to recede - having the creek just feet from my door makes me nervous about all the rain (although I have been checking the creek behind me and it doesn't seem to be terribly high, let's hope this forecast of a week of rain doesn't change that!).
And finally this is my favorite picture, I just loved how this tree looked with the dark clouds behind it.
It's been raining a lot here lately. Today it rained all morning and eased off in the afternoon. It wasn't raining at 3:30 pm when Super Girl got out of school. When she got off the bus today her first words were "Mamma! The bridge is flooded over!" When I asked her to clarify, she and several of her school mates informed me that the creek was flooded and the water was over part of the road and was flooding into the lake. I promised Super Girl that we would head home to grab my camera and go to the lake to investigate.
Boy was I surprised to see just how much water was there. Many parts of the trail around the lake were completly inaccessable for the water pouring over from the creek that runs next to the lake. The bridge we walk over to go to Super Girl's dance class was completly submerged. Now that has happened before, but not to this extent. Usually the water would be too high and would be rushing over the small low bridge but today there was no sign of the bridge at all.
The Little People were amazed by the waters. I was amazed as well. I spoke to some other people standing around gawking at the water, no one had ever seen the waters quite that high.
I'm hopeing that the rains will let up long enough for the waters to recede - having the creek just feet from my door makes me nervous about all the rain (although I have been checking the creek behind me and it doesn't seem to be terribly high, let's hope this forecast of a week of rain doesn't change that!).
And finally this is my favorite picture, I just loved how this tree looked with the dark clouds behind it.
New Year, New Post
Okay I'm just going to cop out on this one and fill it full of quiz crap. Why? Because Petey did it first! heh.
The kissing test*:
Judy, you're a Passionate Kisser
That's right, you've got all the moves. There's something about your approach to kissing that's natural, smooth, and ultimately, very charming. You know that to lure your mate you need to play the part — from knowing all the moves to looking pulled together — whatever that means for you.
Some may call you a player, but we know that all the flash and show with which you attract your dates is a cover for what you're really after — a terrific connection with someone who likes what you have to offer.
You're more confidant than some when it comes to matters of the mouth, which is why you may be used to delivering seriously smoldering smooches. Just remember that while you're gooooood when you rely on your standbys, a little spontaneity might be even better.
And on the Passion Predictor test*:
Judy, you're a Guardian Angel!
Chances are you've kicked around the idea of settling down on some shady lane with your honey and maybe even thought about having a kid or a couple of pets. Even if you've never cooked a pot roast or picked out fabric for curtains, we'll bet you've got solid nurturing instincts nestled within.
That's why, when it comes to your partner, you're the Mother Teresa of romantic relationships. Doing little things like planning cool vacations and jotting a quick love note, tells your partner daily how much you care. This A+ quality not only makes you a compassionate lover, but also a trusted friend.
Here's the rub: You're ready to give and give, but sometimes you might get resentful when your significant other doesn't return the favor. It can be difficult for you to let people fend for themselves, but try to focus on maintaining balance. Be sure to look out for number one, and try to indulge yourself as often as you indulge those you care about.
Honestly this was a weird test... it asks what breakfast cereal you are in bed!!
And finally the flirt test*:
Hey there, slick! We think it's pretty safe to say that you're a Smooth Flirt. You've got all the right moves, and you're confident that your target will appreciate all your winks and smiles. All it takes is the perfect line, right? Maybe so, as long as you deliver it with your charm meter set to "stun." Your flirting style is the perfect mix of body language and pure animal magnetism. With you on their trail, how can your prey possibly hope to get away? Seduction is inevitable. Just make sure not to overdo it. There's something to be said for simple, direct conversation. Your way with words and smooth moves guarantee that you'll hit the bullseye.
heh... silly.
* I'm too damn lazy this morning to link to the actual tests, so head over to Petey's blog, where he has done exactly that!
Okay I'm just going to cop out on this one and fill it full of quiz crap. Why? Because Petey did it first! heh.
The kissing test*:
Judy, you're a Passionate Kisser
That's right, you've got all the moves. There's something about your approach to kissing that's natural, smooth, and ultimately, very charming. You know that to lure your mate you need to play the part — from knowing all the moves to looking pulled together — whatever that means for you.
Some may call you a player, but we know that all the flash and show with which you attract your dates is a cover for what you're really after — a terrific connection with someone who likes what you have to offer.
You're more confidant than some when it comes to matters of the mouth, which is why you may be used to delivering seriously smoldering smooches. Just remember that while you're gooooood when you rely on your standbys, a little spontaneity might be even better.
And on the Passion Predictor test*:
Judy, you're a Guardian Angel!
Chances are you've kicked around the idea of settling down on some shady lane with your honey and maybe even thought about having a kid or a couple of pets. Even if you've never cooked a pot roast or picked out fabric for curtains, we'll bet you've got solid nurturing instincts nestled within.
That's why, when it comes to your partner, you're the Mother Teresa of romantic relationships. Doing little things like planning cool vacations and jotting a quick love note, tells your partner daily how much you care. This A+ quality not only makes you a compassionate lover, but also a trusted friend.
Here's the rub: You're ready to give and give, but sometimes you might get resentful when your significant other doesn't return the favor. It can be difficult for you to let people fend for themselves, but try to focus on maintaining balance. Be sure to look out for number one, and try to indulge yourself as often as you indulge those you care about.
Honestly this was a weird test... it asks what breakfast cereal you are in bed!!
And finally the flirt test*:
Hey there, slick! We think it's pretty safe to say that you're a Smooth Flirt. You've got all the right moves, and you're confident that your target will appreciate all your winks and smiles. All it takes is the perfect line, right? Maybe so, as long as you deliver it with your charm meter set to "stun." Your flirting style is the perfect mix of body language and pure animal magnetism. With you on their trail, how can your prey possibly hope to get away? Seduction is inevitable. Just make sure not to overdo it. There's something to be said for simple, direct conversation. Your way with words and smooth moves guarantee that you'll hit the bullseye.
heh... silly.
* I'm too damn lazy this morning to link to the actual tests, so head over to Petey's blog, where he has done exactly that!
Friday, December 31, 2004
I'm An Animal
I just took this test (what's your inner animal) on Tickle.
Judy, you're a Tiger in the wild world of love.
Grrrr. Go get 'em, Tiger! You know what you want and how to get it. And with your powerful stealth and impressive attitude — who are we to tell you otherwise? You're a natural predator in the lush jungle of love. With plenty of poise, power, and perfect timing, you'll charm the pants off any target you set your sights on. You've got beauty and grace that's irresistible to most who cross your path. Your territory is so well marked, it's not surprising that you sometimes can be a bit of a loner instead of hanging with the pack.
Sophisticated and discriminating, you set your standards high when out hunting for love. Trendy new hot spots are probably your typical habitat — though any place you can find sleek, beautiful mates is good in your book. Your confidence and charm will certainly get your partner purring. And whether it's your bold patterns or the stealthy way you pounce, there's just something people can't resist about you.
heh... funny, no wonder I like meat so much. ;o)
I just took this test (what's your inner animal) on Tickle.
Judy, you're a Tiger in the wild world of love.
Grrrr. Go get 'em, Tiger! You know what you want and how to get it. And with your powerful stealth and impressive attitude — who are we to tell you otherwise? You're a natural predator in the lush jungle of love. With plenty of poise, power, and perfect timing, you'll charm the pants off any target you set your sights on. You've got beauty and grace that's irresistible to most who cross your path. Your territory is so well marked, it's not surprising that you sometimes can be a bit of a loner instead of hanging with the pack.
Sophisticated and discriminating, you set your standards high when out hunting for love. Trendy new hot spots are probably your typical habitat — though any place you can find sleek, beautiful mates is good in your book. Your confidence and charm will certainly get your partner purring. And whether it's your bold patterns or the stealthy way you pounce, there's just something people can't resist about you.
heh... funny, no wonder I like meat so much. ;o)
Thursday, December 30, 2004
What The Hell Is Wrong With Me???
Don't answer that, don't make me bitch slap you!
Sheesh, I've been so side tracked this morning I just realized I haven't had a cup of coffee yet! *wanders off to make a delightful cup*
*45 minutes later*
I think I'm ready for my second cup now. It's a crazy morning. I think Super Girl senses that her winter break is nearing the end so it's necessary to be as crazy as possible.
*later*
Fuck, this has taken me over 2 hours to write this much... Will have to try again later.
Don't answer that, don't make me bitch slap you!
Sheesh, I've been so side tracked this morning I just realized I haven't had a cup of coffee yet! *wanders off to make a delightful cup*
*45 minutes later*
I think I'm ready for my second cup now. It's a crazy morning. I think Super Girl senses that her winter break is nearing the end so it's necessary to be as crazy as possible.
*later*
Fuck, this has taken me over 2 hours to write this much... Will have to try again later.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Handfull of Rodents
My rodents are cohabitating now. It happened last Friday. It had to happen as Hanta had chewed an escape hole in her tiny cage. Well let me start from the beginning to tell the whole all to damn cute and sickeningly sweet story. I got up about 9:30 am or so as K was off work and he said I could sleep in and he'd keep the Tiny Terrorists busy while I slept. An offer to sleep in is RARE so I took him up on it and directed Chaos and Destruction upstairs to wake him when they burst into my room at 7:30 am.
When I finally awoke to a oddly quiet home, I found my newest gerbil in the gerbil ball on the living room floor. I instantly started making plans on how to inflict unbelievable suffering on K if he had left my gerbil in the ball and he'd left to meet with his friends. I got Hanta out of the ball and put her in her cage. After putting the gerbil ball away I turned to discover Hanta's head peeking out of the cage. Oh! My mental list of suffering was put on hold as I pondered what to do next. Hanta was now standing on her cage sniffing Bea's cage. I decided it was time to see if the gerbils would get along. I highly anticipated another gerbil death match and didn't get my camera but did prepare to separate tiny rodents. I opened Bea's cage and Hanta imediately walked in, Bea met her and to my surprise she licked her instead of tried to tear her little head off. Since that moment there has been much cute gerbil love and gerbil cuddling. Bea follows Hanta around a lot and they snuggle together in the nest. It's very cute.
Oh and I didn't get to finish my list of mysery for K as he walked the door just a few moments after I had shut the cage of gerbil love. When he discovered Hanta's escape hatch he had hightailed it to Petsmart to get a new cage and some connecting tubing as he thought the gerbils weren't prepared for cohabitation yet. Alls well that ends well.
My rodents are cohabitating now. It happened last Friday. It had to happen as Hanta had chewed an escape hole in her tiny cage. Well let me start from the beginning to tell the whole all to damn cute and sickeningly sweet story. I got up about 9:30 am or so as K was off work and he said I could sleep in and he'd keep the Tiny Terrorists busy while I slept. An offer to sleep in is RARE so I took him up on it and directed Chaos and Destruction upstairs to wake him when they burst into my room at 7:30 am.
When I finally awoke to a oddly quiet home, I found my newest gerbil in the gerbil ball on the living room floor. I instantly started making plans on how to inflict unbelievable suffering on K if he had left my gerbil in the ball and he'd left to meet with his friends. I got Hanta out of the ball and put her in her cage. After putting the gerbil ball away I turned to discover Hanta's head peeking out of the cage. Oh! My mental list of suffering was put on hold as I pondered what to do next. Hanta was now standing on her cage sniffing Bea's cage. I decided it was time to see if the gerbils would get along. I highly anticipated another gerbil death match and didn't get my camera but did prepare to separate tiny rodents. I opened Bea's cage and Hanta imediately walked in, Bea met her and to my surprise she licked her instead of tried to tear her little head off. Since that moment there has been much cute gerbil love and gerbil cuddling. Bea follows Hanta around a lot and they snuggle together in the nest. It's very cute.
Oh and I didn't get to finish my list of mysery for K as he walked the door just a few moments after I had shut the cage of gerbil love. When he discovered Hanta's escape hatch he had hightailed it to Petsmart to get a new cage and some connecting tubing as he thought the gerbils weren't prepared for cohabitation yet. Alls well that ends well.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Pity Party
Warning, you are about to enter my pity party, guaranteed to be absolutly selfserving and self centered.
Have you ever felt desperately alone? Do you remember what it was like to feel like you weren't part of any group in high school? Feel like maybe the only reason you were invited along was out of pity? Yeah that's where I'm at right now. I'm feeling acutely isolated. I really hate that.
I feel like some people who were very close to me are pulling away, wanting me to disapear from their lives. Just not calling when they said they would, not talking to me much anymore... I guess I'm easy to forget or annoying enough to want to forget.
I'm trying to make more friends, but even there I'm not sure I'm doing so well. I don't really think certain people really like me all that much. I think I try to hard and come off as desperate - I think that's probably true in all areas of my life. I had friends I would talk to all the time, every day and late into the night. Now I'm lucky if they answer me when I message them. Maybe I should just stop trying. Just give everyone what they want and leave them the hell alone.
I'm not sure why I'm going through this right now. I haven't felt this way since high school and now this is so foreign yet so familiar. Part of me says "fuck it, i'll go be a hermit. If people want me they'll let me know, just give up." the other part of me wholeheartedly disagrees and says to keep trying, but I'm not sure I'm up for more rejection. I don't know why I feel so alone and friendless, I think I'm a nice enough person, I bathe regularly, I don't think I'm frightening looking, I don't know, maybe I'm just not good enough.
That's my bigest fear in life, that I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm just not good enough to be anyone's friend, not good enough to be part of anything, my efforts just aren't good enough, my work is never good enough. I think that's it, I'm just not good enough. Alright then, I suppose I should start looking for a place to live out my life as a hermit and develop a love for owning multiple cats or dogs or something. Isolation is probably better than rejection.
No worries, I'm just really, really sad and lonely right now. I'll be fine tomorrow and I'll write some of my normal stupid things to entertain all 3 of you who read this blog.
Warning, you are about to enter my pity party, guaranteed to be absolutly selfserving and self centered.
Have you ever felt desperately alone? Do you remember what it was like to feel like you weren't part of any group in high school? Feel like maybe the only reason you were invited along was out of pity? Yeah that's where I'm at right now. I'm feeling acutely isolated. I really hate that.
I feel like some people who were very close to me are pulling away, wanting me to disapear from their lives. Just not calling when they said they would, not talking to me much anymore... I guess I'm easy to forget or annoying enough to want to forget.
I'm trying to make more friends, but even there I'm not sure I'm doing so well. I don't really think certain people really like me all that much. I think I try to hard and come off as desperate - I think that's probably true in all areas of my life. I had friends I would talk to all the time, every day and late into the night. Now I'm lucky if they answer me when I message them. Maybe I should just stop trying. Just give everyone what they want and leave them the hell alone.
I'm not sure why I'm going through this right now. I haven't felt this way since high school and now this is so foreign yet so familiar. Part of me says "fuck it, i'll go be a hermit. If people want me they'll let me know, just give up." the other part of me wholeheartedly disagrees and says to keep trying, but I'm not sure I'm up for more rejection. I don't know why I feel so alone and friendless, I think I'm a nice enough person, I bathe regularly, I don't think I'm frightening looking, I don't know, maybe I'm just not good enough.
That's my bigest fear in life, that I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm just not good enough to be anyone's friend, not good enough to be part of anything, my efforts just aren't good enough, my work is never good enough. I think that's it, I'm just not good enough. Alright then, I suppose I should start looking for a place to live out my life as a hermit and develop a love for owning multiple cats or dogs or something. Isolation is probably better than rejection.
No worries, I'm just really, really sad and lonely right now. I'll be fine tomorrow and I'll write some of my normal stupid things to entertain all 3 of you who read this blog.
Time To Prepare
Now that the December holidays are done, it's time to prepare for the most important day of the year. No not New Year day silly. Elvis' Birthday! Elvis Day!!!
January 8th marks the incredible day. Elvis Day! I do my damnedest to celebrate every year. I feel it is my duty as a white trash Southerner to make sure that my progeny learn about the great one, Elvis. So we celebrate Elvis Day. What other holiday involves eating as much fried food as one can humanly consume.... (hmmmm... wait... that's kind of like Hannukah... maybe... Elvis... was... a... JEW!! heh {actually some accounts of his druged out and paranoid end days include him converting to the Jewish faith}) Anyway, fried foods, sequined jumpsuits and Elvis movies!
I'm petitioning for Elvis Day to become a national holiday. Why not? Elvis is as american as Velveeta cheese and monster trucks. There really needs to be a national holiday just for trailer trash redneck people. I urge you to join me in my celebration of ELVIS DAY - pull out your sequined jumpsuit and swing by KFC on your way home for that big bucket of extra cripsy (don't forget your sides of biscuits, taters and extra gravy!), head over to Blockbuster to rent your favorite Elvis Movies. Elvis Day is a day for family so everyone pile up on the couch to eat KFC, drink beer and watch as many movies as you can. *note: popping pills, shoting the TV and having heart attack on the toilet are not recommended optional activities - although they would add to the authenticity of the evening*
Mark your calendars! Elvis Day is 11 days away!
Now that the December holidays are done, it's time to prepare for the most important day of the year. No not New Year day silly. Elvis' Birthday! Elvis Day!!!
January 8th marks the incredible day. Elvis Day! I do my damnedest to celebrate every year. I feel it is my duty as a white trash Southerner to make sure that my progeny learn about the great one, Elvis. So we celebrate Elvis Day. What other holiday involves eating as much fried food as one can humanly consume.... (hmmmm... wait... that's kind of like Hannukah... maybe... Elvis... was... a... JEW!! heh {actually some accounts of his druged out and paranoid end days include him converting to the Jewish faith}) Anyway, fried foods, sequined jumpsuits and Elvis movies!
I'm petitioning for Elvis Day to become a national holiday. Why not? Elvis is as american as Velveeta cheese and monster trucks. There really needs to be a national holiday just for trailer trash redneck people. I urge you to join me in my celebration of ELVIS DAY - pull out your sequined jumpsuit and swing by KFC on your way home for that big bucket of extra cripsy (don't forget your sides of biscuits, taters and extra gravy!), head over to Blockbuster to rent your favorite Elvis Movies. Elvis Day is a day for family so everyone pile up on the couch to eat KFC, drink beer and watch as many movies as you can. *note: popping pills, shoting the TV and having heart attack on the toilet are not recommended optional activities - although they would add to the authenticity of the evening*
Mark your calendars! Elvis Day is 11 days away!
2004 Holiday Letter
Happy Holidays! As usual for the past few years I've been to freaking lame to mail out Chanukah/Christmas cards and tuck in a cute little holiday letter informing peeps of my year (hell just the delima of trying to decide which holiday to represent with the cards is enough to make me need a drink, best to just say to hell with it all and save the postage). Again as usual I'm doing it here on the blog. (I'm not sure I did do it last year, maybe... I know I did it at least one year). So here it is. Just pretend you got it in the mail.
Dear Friends and Family and Internet;
Wow what a year it has been! A Good year! Husband is still gay. Kids are good. Life is good. AND I met the most amazing man in the world and fell madly in love with him. Yup, that's the best part. After 2 years of seeing the same guy (Home Depot), we broke up abruptly at the begining of January. Thanks to D I met XXX a few weeks later and was instantly smitten. Really I was, the moment I saw him - despite me telling myself to get a GRIP, shit like this only happens in movies and romance novels, I still was floating. I dumped all other guys I was dating after that. He really is amazing, I just think about him and smile. He's smart, he's funny and he's incredibly sexy. And I feel incredibly lucky to have him as my boyfriend.
What else? I mean what else could there be other than an amazing man in my life, fabulous sex (with a live person, not just electronic pleasure devices) and intelectual stimulation? Oh yeah, the Little People.
Super Girl started kindergarten. I was aprehensive at first, me being the overprotective mother that I am worried that she would not do well and would not like school (actually it was my own anxieties from my own horrific kindergarten experience). The first day we took her to school and she just about gave us the bums rush out of the school. So much for her not adjusting. Cabbage Patch however wailed the moment we turned to go. She wanted to stay with Super Girl. *sigh* Back home she continued to ask when Super Girl would be home, which just broke my heart. 3:30 pm couldn't come soon enough for either of us. It took 30 minutes waiting in the pick up line to get Super Girl. That alone made me certain that I wanted her riding the bus. The next day was the First Day On The Bus. Again I needed to take calming deep breaths to deal with that, but despite my paranoid fears NOTHING happened and at 3:40 pm she exited the bus beaming from ear to ear. Eventually I realized that school is a fabulous thing. For half of the day I have one less child to make a mess! One less mess maker! AND she is LEARNING! Woohoo! So that's where my tax dollars are going. I think back to the moments of insanity as a new mother when Super Girl was just a baby and how I swore I would home school her. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What was I thinking???? I am so not cut out for that crap. Anyway, she loves school and continues to shock me with how much she's learned.
Cabbage Patch is totally loving not having her sister home most of the day now. She talks non stop these days, and since her sister, who also talks non stop, but much louder, is gone half of the day, I can actually hear that what she is saying (although much of it is still in that alien toddler language so I don't always understand what she's saying). Her newest BIG words that come out so clear are IRRITATING as in "Super Girl stop that." "Why?" "Because it's irritating." and DISGUSTING as in "Get your finger out of your nose, that's disgusting." I'm glad she listens to me sometimes.
We've had some funny moments with the Little People. Like when Super Girl brushed her teeth with Personal Lubricant. heh or Cabbage Patch winning Jenga by putting all the blocks in the milk jug. They've covered them selves in baby powder prompting me to think of the Cingular commercial with the "Flour the children" line. There was the missing fish (that mystery was NEVER solved) and the tragic mass suicide of the entire tank of fish. My brunch with my former high school nemisis (who is no longer a nemisis so I really need to find something else to call her). Super Girl getting sick in the middle of the night and throwing up in her sisters bed (that's funny because I didn't have to clean that one up). I made a most fabulous costume for my sister for her first year on Scarby Cast and I had a fun time attending Scarby when I could. We had a fabulous Seder with lots of Kosher wine (and weird pictures). My cat took a week long vacation from us, but for some insane reason she CAME back. Crazy feline. Saw Jesus in my 'hood driving around in his pimped out silver Cadilac Escalade. In one fabulous evening with XXX I managed to set my hair on fire (setting out the candles for the romantic mood - he never knew about that), impress him with my fine choice of wines by asking him to open it and having it discoverd that the wine was a screw top and finally in an attempt to impress him with a lovely breakfast having smoke pouring out of the oven (one should really check the oven before turning on the broiler). Amazingly he didn't laugh and he's still my hot and sexy boyfriend. Angry Albino Sock Monkey was created! My EVIL creation LIVES! (still for sale, ya want one, you know you do - give me money and I'll give you monkey) I got my braces off (YAY!). I have had several fabulous visits to XXX and hopefully 2005 holds several more fabulous visits. Since I'm a chicken shit and usually travel via Greyhound I've been fortunate enough to meet several freaks on the bus - I figured out early that it's best to find your freak as opposed to having a freak find you. It works out well and makes for an intesting ride most times (last time with the drunk who was hitting on me was more irritating and less interesting). I had the absolute worst 'garden' this year, maybe 2005 will be the year of plastic plants for me. I got a lovely case of poison ivy - on my face! Got coffee makers for my birthday. Blessed are those who feed my addiction. Koko the gorilla (my birthday twin) was a bitch and stood me up for our usual birthday drink - bitch. The wee ones visited Grandma and GiGi for a week and came back convinced I had somehow shrunk our cats (their cats are huge, my cats are the compact verson) - it took 3 weeks to convince them that I did NOT shrink out cats. The higher powers sent a gerbil to us, which I dubbed Bubonic Plauge, Bea for short. I lost my drivers license at the end of August only to have the grocery store (who I had called three times in the week after I lost it) call me in October to tell me they had it. I cooked a meal for 35 people (a reception dinner) and it was FABULOUS. I pondered why my cats couldn't speak, then realized I'd be driven crazy by them if they could. I had the great hair disaster where I accidentally colored my hair a deep plum color - it looked shitty. Partied with The Queen on his birthday. Drank to much and flashed the party. I've managed to read two books this year - TWO whole books! Wooohoo! My celing fan in my living room was finally fixed! It only took 4 or 5 months. I did some illustrations and went to the GAYEST Halloween party ever! (It was a gay/lesbian parents group party) Had an impromptu party at our place (and it ROCKED!) - go check out the photos back in October to see my and Petey's progression to drunkeness. Thanksgiving was busy - cooked too much and ate too much. December brought Hannukah and the Little People LOVED that. Christmas followed - again the Little People LOVED all the pressies. In between all that I got a mother of a ticket (which I have to head to the court house tomorrow to arrange to take care of it). I've been cranky most of this month - lack of XXX does that to me, but now I'm looking forward to January (gonna visit my hot sexy man soon!) and 2005. I'm pretty damn sure it will be better than 2004.
Happy Holidays! As usual for the past few years I've been to freaking lame to mail out Chanukah/Christmas cards and tuck in a cute little holiday letter informing peeps of my year (hell just the delima of trying to decide which holiday to represent with the cards is enough to make me need a drink, best to just say to hell with it all and save the postage). Again as usual I'm doing it here on the blog. (I'm not sure I did do it last year, maybe... I know I did it at least one year). So here it is. Just pretend you got it in the mail.
Dear Friends and Family and Internet;
Wow what a year it has been! A Good year! Husband is still gay. Kids are good. Life is good. AND I met the most amazing man in the world and fell madly in love with him. Yup, that's the best part. After 2 years of seeing the same guy (Home Depot), we broke up abruptly at the begining of January. Thanks to D I met XXX a few weeks later and was instantly smitten. Really I was, the moment I saw him - despite me telling myself to get a GRIP, shit like this only happens in movies and romance novels, I still was floating. I dumped all other guys I was dating after that. He really is amazing, I just think about him and smile. He's smart, he's funny and he's incredibly sexy. And I feel incredibly lucky to have him as my boyfriend.
What else? I mean what else could there be other than an amazing man in my life, fabulous sex (with a live person, not just electronic pleasure devices) and intelectual stimulation? Oh yeah, the Little People.
Super Girl started kindergarten. I was aprehensive at first, me being the overprotective mother that I am worried that she would not do well and would not like school (actually it was my own anxieties from my own horrific kindergarten experience). The first day we took her to school and she just about gave us the bums rush out of the school. So much for her not adjusting. Cabbage Patch however wailed the moment we turned to go. She wanted to stay with Super Girl. *sigh* Back home she continued to ask when Super Girl would be home, which just broke my heart. 3:30 pm couldn't come soon enough for either of us. It took 30 minutes waiting in the pick up line to get Super Girl. That alone made me certain that I wanted her riding the bus. The next day was the First Day On The Bus. Again I needed to take calming deep breaths to deal with that, but despite my paranoid fears NOTHING happened and at 3:40 pm she exited the bus beaming from ear to ear. Eventually I realized that school is a fabulous thing. For half of the day I have one less child to make a mess! One less mess maker! AND she is LEARNING! Woohoo! So that's where my tax dollars are going. I think back to the moments of insanity as a new mother when Super Girl was just a baby and how I swore I would home school her. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What was I thinking???? I am so not cut out for that crap. Anyway, she loves school and continues to shock me with how much she's learned.
Cabbage Patch is totally loving not having her sister home most of the day now. She talks non stop these days, and since her sister, who also talks non stop, but much louder, is gone half of the day, I can actually hear that what she is saying (although much of it is still in that alien toddler language so I don't always understand what she's saying). Her newest BIG words that come out so clear are IRRITATING as in "Super Girl stop that." "Why?" "Because it's irritating." and DISGUSTING as in "Get your finger out of your nose, that's disgusting." I'm glad she listens to me sometimes.
We've had some funny moments with the Little People. Like when Super Girl brushed her teeth with Personal Lubricant. heh or Cabbage Patch winning Jenga by putting all the blocks in the milk jug. They've covered them selves in baby powder prompting me to think of the Cingular commercial with the "Flour the children" line. There was the missing fish (that mystery was NEVER solved) and the tragic mass suicide of the entire tank of fish. My brunch with my former high school nemisis (who is no longer a nemisis so I really need to find something else to call her). Super Girl getting sick in the middle of the night and throwing up in her sisters bed (that's funny because I didn't have to clean that one up). I made a most fabulous costume for my sister for her first year on Scarby Cast and I had a fun time attending Scarby when I could. We had a fabulous Seder with lots of Kosher wine (and weird pictures). My cat took a week long vacation from us, but for some insane reason she CAME back. Crazy feline. Saw Jesus in my 'hood driving around in his pimped out silver Cadilac Escalade. In one fabulous evening with XXX I managed to set my hair on fire (setting out the candles for the romantic mood - he never knew about that), impress him with my fine choice of wines by asking him to open it and having it discoverd that the wine was a screw top and finally in an attempt to impress him with a lovely breakfast having smoke pouring out of the oven (one should really check the oven before turning on the broiler). Amazingly he didn't laugh and he's still my hot and sexy boyfriend. Angry Albino Sock Monkey was created! My EVIL creation LIVES! (still for sale, ya want one, you know you do - give me money and I'll give you monkey) I got my braces off (YAY!). I have had several fabulous visits to XXX and hopefully 2005 holds several more fabulous visits. Since I'm a chicken shit and usually travel via Greyhound I've been fortunate enough to meet several freaks on the bus - I figured out early that it's best to find your freak as opposed to having a freak find you. It works out well and makes for an intesting ride most times (last time with the drunk who was hitting on me was more irritating and less interesting). I had the absolute worst 'garden' this year, maybe 2005 will be the year of plastic plants for me. I got a lovely case of poison ivy - on my face! Got coffee makers for my birthday. Blessed are those who feed my addiction. Koko the gorilla (my birthday twin) was a bitch and stood me up for our usual birthday drink - bitch. The wee ones visited Grandma and GiGi for a week and came back convinced I had somehow shrunk our cats (their cats are huge, my cats are the compact verson) - it took 3 weeks to convince them that I did NOT shrink out cats. The higher powers sent a gerbil to us, which I dubbed Bubonic Plauge, Bea for short. I lost my drivers license at the end of August only to have the grocery store (who I had called three times in the week after I lost it) call me in October to tell me they had it. I cooked a meal for 35 people (a reception dinner) and it was FABULOUS. I pondered why my cats couldn't speak, then realized I'd be driven crazy by them if they could. I had the great hair disaster where I accidentally colored my hair a deep plum color - it looked shitty. Partied with The Queen on his birthday. Drank to much and flashed the party. I've managed to read two books this year - TWO whole books! Wooohoo! My celing fan in my living room was finally fixed! It only took 4 or 5 months. I did some illustrations and went to the GAYEST Halloween party ever! (It was a gay/lesbian parents group party) Had an impromptu party at our place (and it ROCKED!) - go check out the photos back in October to see my and Petey's progression to drunkeness. Thanksgiving was busy - cooked too much and ate too much. December brought Hannukah and the Little People LOVED that. Christmas followed - again the Little People LOVED all the pressies. In between all that I got a mother of a ticket (which I have to head to the court house tomorrow to arrange to take care of it). I've been cranky most of this month - lack of XXX does that to me, but now I'm looking forward to January (gonna visit my hot sexy man soon!) and 2005. I'm pretty damn sure it will be better than 2004.
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