Rock on Lassie


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More photo of CAKE tomorrow. TWO, yes TWO wedding cakes in as many days. 9.5 hour day on my feet. Sooooo tired. Tomorrow, CAKE.

Oh yeah...


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Been awake since 4 am... damn it.

Letters From the Edge

Dear Life;

I owe you an apology for being so hard on you yesterday, but come on, you've been pretty hard on me. And by 'hard on me' I mean excruciatingly horrible. But I'm forgiving because ya know what, sometimes you are pretty fabulous. Like giving me fabulous friends who refuse to see how fat I look in a photo even though I did look like a red velvet cow. Friends who make me LOL when they suggest taking out an insurance policy on K and having him 'whacked'. Friends who have even more crazy drama in their lives than I do. Friends who say things that rattle around my head and make me laugh when I think of them, like 'penis tickle'. My Sweetie who knows what to say when I cry from misunderstanding what he says. For being able to have long geeky discussions with him. For an ex who wasn't offended at the suggestion to insure him and have him 'whacked'. For Tylenol PM to counter act sinus headaches. For interesting dreams to share with my Sweetie. For a job I absolutely LOVE more than any job I've ever had. And most of all, for it being a new day and knowing that I will get through this no matter how shitty it is.

You are forgiven Life. Now come on over here and give me a hug!

Love,
Judy

PS - I'm still kind of pissed about the car and the $$$$ troubles and wow, just thinking about the ticket makes me cringe. Still, you are forgiven.

PPS - I almost forgot to thank you for the 3 cups of coffee this morning. WOW! That totally surely put golden shine on EVERYTHING this morning. I may have to do that again tomorrow! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! COFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEE!!!

High Horse


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Just Makes Me Want Coffee

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Dear Life, You SUCK.

Continuing with the Nablopomo theme of letters...

Dear Life;

Do me a favor and please stop sucking! No really, I'm serious. As if it wasn't enough that I find out I owe Tx DPS $1,660, I end up with a nice fat ticket the very next week and this week the car needs $1,100 in repairs - what can I say it's old.

Life I've already gone into how irritated the whole TxDPS thing is so I won't rehash it. The ticket, well that just sucks and I know it's my fault. The car, oh damn that's killing me. Killing me to know that repairs will cost WAY more than the car is worth and that I'm still paying for this piece of shit car (the car is a 94 Mazda Protege with extensive body damage, crapped out interior (people, don't smoke in your car!), LOTS of miles, the air doesn't work - never has, and well it's just getting old so pieces need to be replaced, the market value on the car is sooooo sad). So yeah, I have to figure out how to come up with the $$$$ for all of this. And hey! Rent is due! Woohoo!

Life, I just don't get it. Why do you have to pick on me all at the same time? Come on, can't you give a sistah a break? You know I make just barely over minimum wage, why you got to throw all this money trouble on me right now? And let's not even get into my other issues, suffice to say I need to talk to my Dr. about antidepressants and stop considering if the bridges around me are high enough (I kid, I kid... mostly).

There you go life, just stop fucking with me. I've had enough and honestly no one cares or wants to hear about my shitty life. EVERYONE has their own issues to deal with without listening/reading to any of this.

Sadly,
Judy

Word Of The Day

retiarius

re·ti·ar·i·us [ rshee áiree əss ] (plural re·ti·ar·i·i [ rshee áiree  ])


noun
Definition:

Roman gladiator: an ancient Roman gladiator who fought using a net and a trident

[Mid-17th century.

My use of the word: Dude, that retiarius in the Russell Crowe movie was soooooo hot!

Moving on to the rediculous...

Redi Whip has such a STUPID commercial. Luckily it's short so the bleeding that it causes in my brain is brief.

This month's theme for NaBloPoMo is LETTERS. I tend to do those at times so, what the hell here we go.

Dear Youngest Child of mine,

Cabbage Patch please, please, please, please for the love of dog, SHUT UP. No really, just shut your cake hole. Your CONSTANT running commentary of insanity needs to be silenced from time to time. I'm hoping that this really is just a phase that you will grow out of because when I think of you in your mid thirties walking around just talking to the voices in your head as you shop for groceries I CRINGE. I really don't want you to become that disheveled woman walking down the street wearing a grubby sweater and knit hat while pushing a shopping cart full of kittens and bottled water in the middle of July while discussing the government conspiracies with a stuffed bunny in your pocket.

So, um yeah. Just hush, keep your conversations with the voices in your head to yourself.

Love,
Your Mother - no, not the mother ship

Dear Asshole Driving In My Neighborhood;

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Stop giving me dirty looks for having the audacity to WALK across the street at the stop sign, using the cross walk and slowing you down as you rush off to work or shop or buy drugs or pick up your bitches and ho's or whatever. You inching up past the stop sign toward me does not make me cross faster and our subsequent dirty looks just makes me walk slower. So, have a nice day and may your vibrator die before you reach orgasm.

You are an asshat,
Me

Just Because It's Funny


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Manic Monday

Man, everyone having to be out of the house by 7:40 am is just CRAZY. Blah, I'm tired today and it's humid. Luckily my hair is pulled up so it's not obvious that my parents were circus clowns. 

New cake in the display case. My boss said it reminder of a corset. hehehe.
Just something for the freezer case. Pretty. 


These are the cars the Tiny Terrorists and I are working on. This weekend is the first annual Powderpuff Pinewood Derby. Super Girl wanted her car to have a paint job like Optimus Prime and Cabbage Patch wanted hers with a paint job like Bumblebee. The girls have done a huge chunk of the painting - k got me my little car (the pink one) to deter me from the overwhelming compulsion to paint the girls cars for them - luckily it's working. I did put the Transformers emblem on Cabbage Patch's car and did the flames on Super Girls (at their request). There is still work to be done, but not much and they'll be doing most of it. Anyway, I'm quite proud of the work that's been done so far.

Chicken Little

Today the rains brought with it the spring tornado warnings and watches. Just when the Tiny Terrorists got home. With that brought Super Girl's paranoia. For some reason that child automatically thinks the worst when we get bad weather. And heaven help me if there IS a weather warning of any kind. Like today, we heard the tornado sirens being tested, she started talking about where we would go if there was a tornado. She also likes to ask me what will happen if it floods - this is especially great since we live right by a creek... which has NEVER EVER flooded over it's banks... still she has to go into ALL of the possibilities of what could happen. It's tiring. Today I told her I was going to start calling her Chicken Little since the sky is always falling to her. Oddly, she did not appreciate that one bit. *sigh*

Okay, I'm off to bed.

Computer Blues

I miss my computer. I'm appreciative that K is letting me use his computer, but... it's not MY computer. and well that sucks. I don't have my bookmarks. I feel bad about adding photos to his computer (because his stupid Mac does the photo thing weird and I can't just look at my photos on the memory card, it automatically just adds everything on the card. Stupid Mac.)

I miss my computer.

All That Glitters...

Is probably some kind of Disney Princess monstrosity.

This is the Disney Princess monstrosity I created today. My offspring LOVED it. 

This cake got the second best reaction EVAH! This is a Star Wars Revenge of the Sith theme. The grandfather came to pick up the cake with the birthday boy's older brother. I showed gramps and brother the cake and the brother who was maybe 8 years old, he let out a loud gasp and nearly dropped the ball he was holding. I started laughing as did grandpa and brother said it was great. Have to thank my sweetie Stewart for the idea. Honestly I had no idea what to do since I've never seen the movie.
This is a lovely variation on my favorite baby shower cake. I like it so much I'm going to have the photo in my book changed to this. 

And this, a cat in rain boots and a tutu. A special request from the grandmother. 

Moving on...

Today at lunch I came home to my computer having blown it's power supply AGAIN. Damn. This is the third. In a couple of days it'll be headed back to the manufacturer to be fixed and hopefully it'll be back with me quickly. Thank goodness for warranties. Still, I'm irritated. And I'm quite certain that K is none to happy about sharing his computer... AGAIN. *sigh* oh well. 

CAKE!




That is all...

Morning of HELL

No honestly it really was. If it didn't sound so damn awkward I could totally see Leonidas screaming to the Spartans that this morning they'd break fast in HELL. But then two little girls really don't SEEM all the menacing. Not until you spend EVERY SINGLE moment from the time you wake them until they grudgingly walk out the door to catch the school buss arguing with them. About EVERYTHING. Absolutely EVERYTHING. No really, EVERYTHING. First, for being woken up, second because they AREN'T sick and I refuse to believe they are, third because I have the audacity to expect them to eat breakfast, get a shower, brush teeth, get dressed, find their own clothes, wear the clothes I chose for them, get their stuff together... you get the picture... EVERYTHING. I actually told them I was thrilled they were going to school today so that I wouldn't have to spend ALL DAY LONG with them bitching at me. And I meant it. Luckily they were in a better mood by the time they returned home, they were no longer interested in arguing with me but were back to normal arguing with each other. Oh the joy.

Moving on to CAKE! I know you love the CAKE!

Showing a little love for my favorite firemen (which is just about ANY of them).
Ah this one. A little bribe for a little girl who just got a new baby brother/sister (not sure). Obviously the parents believe that by giving this little lady a pretty cake she will accept the interloper and accept him as one of the family instead of the usurper that he is. And by the time she DOES realize that the baby she thought that was so CUTE at the hospital is actually screamy and smelly and an attention stealer who WON'T GO AWAY no matter how many times she secretly wishes he/she would burst into flames and her world would go back to the perfect princess palace it used to be, filled with unicorns and puppies and pink kittens. And when she DOES ask her parents in a pleading ever so slightly whining voice to 'TAKE IT BACK TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!' her parents will remind her that they got her a pretty cake for being a 'big sister' now and that the noisy, sticky, smelly usurper is there forever to ruin her life. Or something like that... Well...That's how D explained my arrival into her life to me...
And the cake for the baby. Which is not exactly safe to feed to a baby, especially a newborn. But whatever, it's not my place to dictate to people who to feed CAKE to. My actual thought is that it's not really for the baby, as it's rather impractical, but for the mother who after giving birth really needs CAKE. I'm hoping that this isn't some lame sloppy attempt at a push gift from the baby daddy. I mean honestly, a $4 cake? LAME. Not that I'd know, I didn't get a push gift and come on, I gave birth to two kids for a gay man, I totally deserved a push gift. Eh whatever.

Off to bed now. Enjoy the CAKE! Remember... contact me if you are local and NEED Girl Scout cookies... you know you NEED them.

Field Trip Day!

My oldest took a this photo of me before we left for her Girl Scout meeting. I kind of look like Cousin It.
Cabbage Patch saw this duck on the lake and yelled "Mom! Mom! It's that duck from the commerical! Aflak!"
Ahhh my field of flowers to run through. Well that's what I always tell the offspring that's what I'll do when they are gone for the day.
Bluebonnets.
Buttercup.
Violets.
Daisies.
ME in the school cafeteria. I got to be the door person as the door would lock everyone out otherwise. Oh well, I had already taken many photos of flowers.

And speaking of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES *ahem* not that we actually were, BUT I just wanted to let all you locals know that Super Girl's troop will have 3 more cookie booths. So if you haven't ordered cookies or you need MORE cookies, let me know - I'll let you know where they'll be selling or you can just order through me.

Okay I'm off to bed now - got that work thing to do in the morning.

I See Therapy In Her Future

Conversation with Super Girl:

Super Girl: Mom, we got out crawfish in today in class.
Me: Were they tasty?
Super Girl: NO! MOM!
Me: They weren't cooked right?
Super Girl: MOM!! They are our class pets!
Me: Crawfish are food not pets.

CAKE is YUMMY!


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Rude Awakening

Goodness in all my bitching about other things I forgot to bitch about being awakened at 12:13 am and then at 12:19 am and yet again at 12:24 am. The first was someone asking for someone who doesn't own this phone and I told them they had a WRONG number. The guy apologized and hung up. The next call was from someone asking if I had just called the police as they (the po-po I'm assuming) had just received a call from that number. I sleepily explained that I had not and had in fact just received a call for someone and blah, blah, blah. I wasn't very coherent, I do remember him laughing before hanging up. The third call was from the original offender phone number asking for that same person again (which for the life of me I can not remember that name). I wonder if I should call them at like 6 am and ask them if I'm there. I figure they probably wouldn't mind me interupting their sleep.

Tiresome Tuesday

Goodness, I'm thrilled that today is pretty much over (I plan to veg on the couch for the remainder of March 25th, 2008 - at least I'll TRY to do that).

Today started with me waking at 5 am from the extended effects of being lactose intolerant (aren't you sick of hearing about me whine about my dairy problems? I bet you think I'm milking it or something). I stuffed some medication down my gullet and headed back to bed for another hour and a half. Fast forward to me walking to work, in the wind and remembering that I didn't take any allergy medicine this morning as my eyes were watering and stinging. And then there was the coughing and sneezing. Ahhh what fun!

But enough with my whining I know you just want CAKE! I've deprived you of CAKE far too long, for that I'm sorry dear readers.

This is a cake for a wedding and it's butt ugly. What horrid colors to put together. The top border is actually a peach color.
This WAS my favorite cake today... until I did the next one.
How could you not love a t-bone steak cake! Why a steak? Because the assistant manager of the meat market just got a promotion and is now the meat market manager in another store. But honestly, who wouldn't love a cake with a giant STEAK on it? My only question is whether you grill it or serve it with ice cream.

This Made Me LOL!!


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Sneaky Evil Dairy!

Yesterday I made a most fabulous pot roast in a tasty mushroom gravy. I'm a Southern Girl, I loves me some gravy. I don't eat it often but damn I could eat it just about every day. Because I don't eat it often I forget that it usually has MILK in it. And that the instant (I love instant gravy) usually has lots of 'milk solids' in it. Last night I didn't sleep well, all today I wondered why I was so tired and felt kind of icky and sort of like I'd had some diary products. This evening it dawned on me "Oh hey, milk solids in the GRAVY stupid." Fuck, it's like a truly CRUEL joke since I have a deep affection for all things dairy. KARMA Why doth thou hate me so????

Okay enough bitching.

It's time for photos of CAKE! But since I didn't make anything fabulous today, it's photos of CAT! Woohoo! Which is almost as good as a CAKE but not edible or anything.

Here's Sunshine being attacked by a dino. A VERY VERY small dino.
And here she is after having decimated said dino. Notice the look of satisfaction.