Growing Up
Super Girl - who turns 5 this Friday - lost her first tooth this morning. And she promptly lost it in her messy messy room. *sigh.*
I can't believe she's already 5.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
A Fate Worse Than Death
As if you don't end up wasting enough time in WalMart, they had to make the Super WalMart so you can waste even MORE time. I hate shopping at the Super WalMart and for some unknown reason I was struck with insanity and offered to pick up some things on my way home. What the hell was I thinking? I mean I'm always tired after rushing around the hospital all day, why did I offer to go to WalMart and Super WalMart at that.
Well I did think that going to the Super WalMart would save me time - hahahahahahahahaha. I wandered around in circles looking for things before finally asking someone who worked there where several items were - I wrote down where each thing was so I could find it. It was sad. I just could not find shit in that store it is so fucking big. I ended up needing one other thing in the store after I had gotten the other things, another 30 minutes of looking and I had to ask someone - the SAME freaking person! I think he was the only person working in the store, either that or his twin brother works there also. I needed to get some more thigh high stockings (I've been dating a lot lately, I need some new sexy things for dates) but by this time the Super WalMart had sucked the will to live from me and I just wanted to get out of there.
Then it was time to go stand in line, yay. They have the new self check lines in this Super WalMart. This is an ok idea, except the people in front of me were to fucking stupid to be checking their own groceries. Both had to have a manager person help them - the woman right in front of me kept putting things directly in her basket instead of in the bag which is on a platform that weighs everything so it was giving her errors. Somehow I managed to get my stuff scanned and paid for with out the help of a manager. I think they should have a sign in front of the line saying You Must Be This Smart To Use This... Some people are just to stupid even for WalMart.
As if you don't end up wasting enough time in WalMart, they had to make the Super WalMart so you can waste even MORE time. I hate shopping at the Super WalMart and for some unknown reason I was struck with insanity and offered to pick up some things on my way home. What the hell was I thinking? I mean I'm always tired after rushing around the hospital all day, why did I offer to go to WalMart and Super WalMart at that.
Well I did think that going to the Super WalMart would save me time - hahahahahahahahaha. I wandered around in circles looking for things before finally asking someone who worked there where several items were - I wrote down where each thing was so I could find it. It was sad. I just could not find shit in that store it is so fucking big. I ended up needing one other thing in the store after I had gotten the other things, another 30 minutes of looking and I had to ask someone - the SAME freaking person! I think he was the only person working in the store, either that or his twin brother works there also. I needed to get some more thigh high stockings (I've been dating a lot lately, I need some new sexy things for dates) but by this time the Super WalMart had sucked the will to live from me and I just wanted to get out of there.
Then it was time to go stand in line, yay. They have the new self check lines in this Super WalMart. This is an ok idea, except the people in front of me were to fucking stupid to be checking their own groceries. Both had to have a manager person help them - the woman right in front of me kept putting things directly in her basket instead of in the bag which is on a platform that weighs everything so it was giving her errors. Somehow I managed to get my stuff scanned and paid for with out the help of a manager. I think they should have a sign in front of the line saying You Must Be This Smart To Use This... Some people are just to stupid even for WalMart.
Friday, February 06, 2004
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Younger But Wiser
Recently I was at Broad At Bat's blog where I found the link to this person's blog. I read in amazement at how very eloquent this 15 year old writes. Yes 15, and not a hint of bad grammar, intentionally misspelled words or age appropriate (for a 15 year old) slang. Then I remembered this blog. This is utter crap. This blog is written by a 19 year old who supposedly is well educated and I know has a very good job. Well educated, good job, barely literate. All of his entries are peppered with slang, misspellings, horrid grammar and obscenities (which I can't really bitch about since I tend to us a LOT of obscenities). He frequently writes about his sexual 'exploits' as though his casual sex somehow makes him more mature and 'adult'. The only reason I check that blog is to hear of news about S, otherwise I'd never bother to click his like a second time. The 15 year old, well I think I may have to add him to my list of frequent reads. 15 *sigh* - there is hope for this world.
Recently I was at Broad At Bat's blog where I found the link to this person's blog. I read in amazement at how very eloquent this 15 year old writes. Yes 15, and not a hint of bad grammar, intentionally misspelled words or age appropriate (for a 15 year old) slang. Then I remembered this blog. This is utter crap. This blog is written by a 19 year old who supposedly is well educated and I know has a very good job. Well educated, good job, barely literate. All of his entries are peppered with slang, misspellings, horrid grammar and obscenities (which I can't really bitch about since I tend to us a LOT of obscenities). He frequently writes about his sexual 'exploits' as though his casual sex somehow makes him more mature and 'adult'. The only reason I check that blog is to hear of news about S, otherwise I'd never bother to click his like a second time. The 15 year old, well I think I may have to add him to my list of frequent reads. 15 *sigh* - there is hope for this world.
Ten for Ten
I don't usually do these - I usually find them rather stupid and sheepish to do, but I'm just filling some stuff in because I haven't had much time to write today.... And this kind of caught my eye.
Ten Things You Wish You Knew How to Do
1. Ride a bike
2. Speak Spanish
3. Read and speak Hebrew (I'm working on that one)
4. To paint like the masters (Angelo, Rubens, Picasso, etc.)
5. Plant a garden that will flourish and thrive
6. Country western dance
7. Read minds
8. See through things (pants would be first on my list hehehehehe...)
9. Make love for hours and hours (like Sting says he can) without getting tired, bored or sore (maybe I should try to get lessons from Sting)
10. Higher mathematics... Don't even try to explain... I've had several tutors try to get me past Trig... Just never works.
I don't usually do these - I usually find them rather stupid and sheepish to do, but I'm just filling some stuff in because I haven't had much time to write today.... And this kind of caught my eye.
Ten Things You Wish You Knew How to Do
1. Ride a bike
2. Speak Spanish
3. Read and speak Hebrew (I'm working on that one)
4. To paint like the masters (Angelo, Rubens, Picasso, etc.)
5. Plant a garden that will flourish and thrive
6. Country western dance
7. Read minds
8. See through things (pants would be first on my list hehehehehe...)
9. Make love for hours and hours (like Sting says he can) without getting tired, bored or sore (maybe I should try to get lessons from Sting)
10. Higher mathematics... Don't even try to explain... I've had several tutors try to get me past Trig... Just never works.
New Titles For The Little People
Last week was a trying week with the little people. All kids are evil from time to time - my kids time was last week. So from now on when they are particular EEEEEEVIL I will refer to them as The Tiny Terrorists and Chaos and Destruction instead of The Little People, Super Girl and Cabbage Patch. Today there is no terrorist activities or demands so it's a good day. ;o) The war on terrorism starts a home - my home!
Last week was a trying week with the little people. All kids are evil from time to time - my kids time was last week. So from now on when they are particular EEEEEEVIL I will refer to them as The Tiny Terrorists and Chaos and Destruction instead of The Little People, Super Girl and Cabbage Patch. Today there is no terrorist activities or demands so it's a good day. ;o) The war on terrorism starts a home - my home!
Chuckie's Looking Rough
Poor Chuckie. She's looking rode hard and put up wet. For those who are not familiar with Chuckie, she is the most beloved and most creepy doll of the little people. Both love her unconditionally and without bounds. She and Jaded Jenny are most valuable dolls in their toy boxes. The only two dolls with names and the two dolls that would cause the little people to turn against me and make voodoo dolls of me. Jenny has been loved a lot and is now missing certain items of her couture - her nose ring and chain were lost long ago, her black boots with the cool flames are in the toy box somewhere and their 'leather' studded wrist bands are threatening to join the boots. Chuckie on the other hand has always been a creepy looking doll and when it worked it was just frightening (to adults who were familiar with Child's Play, that awful horror movie - hence the name of Chuckie being given to the doll by us adults), now that she is a few years old she looks down right horrible. Her hair is in a permanent blond Don King doo, she has chunks out of both of her ears (some one was going through a phase of biting things), her body is spotted and the back where her batteries go (which will NEVER happen again) is usually open like an unfinished autopsy, one of her eyes is minus all the eye lashes and is permanently half open (or closed, whatever) and now, now her face is marred with black smears from the phone book (which I have no idea how the phone book came in contact with this doll as I NEVER use the darn things and keep them in a cabinet). I've tried to clean the marks off her to no avail. I briefly considered tossing the doll in the trash, but reconsidered when I remembered the heart wrenching sobs of Super Girl when I told her that mommy had to take Chuckie for a 14 day quarantine (which just ended). So I now have a pasty concoction on Chuckies face and legs in hopes of removing the offending black stains, Chuckies body has been painted with laundry soap, hopefully after a trip through the delicate cycle of the washer, she will be at least clean (still creepy) and less unhygenic. I'll post photos of Chuckie later - hopefully a CLEAN Chuckie.
Poor Chuckie. She's looking rode hard and put up wet. For those who are not familiar with Chuckie, she is the most beloved and most creepy doll of the little people. Both love her unconditionally and without bounds. She and Jaded Jenny are most valuable dolls in their toy boxes. The only two dolls with names and the two dolls that would cause the little people to turn against me and make voodoo dolls of me. Jenny has been loved a lot and is now missing certain items of her couture - her nose ring and chain were lost long ago, her black boots with the cool flames are in the toy box somewhere and their 'leather' studded wrist bands are threatening to join the boots. Chuckie on the other hand has always been a creepy looking doll and when it worked it was just frightening (to adults who were familiar with Child's Play, that awful horror movie - hence the name of Chuckie being given to the doll by us adults), now that she is a few years old she looks down right horrible. Her hair is in a permanent blond Don King doo, she has chunks out of both of her ears (some one was going through a phase of biting things), her body is spotted and the back where her batteries go (which will NEVER happen again) is usually open like an unfinished autopsy, one of her eyes is minus all the eye lashes and is permanently half open (or closed, whatever) and now, now her face is marred with black smears from the phone book (which I have no idea how the phone book came in contact with this doll as I NEVER use the darn things and keep them in a cabinet). I've tried to clean the marks off her to no avail. I briefly considered tossing the doll in the trash, but reconsidered when I remembered the heart wrenching sobs of Super Girl when I told her that mommy had to take Chuckie for a 14 day quarantine (which just ended). So I now have a pasty concoction on Chuckies face and legs in hopes of removing the offending black stains, Chuckies body has been painted with laundry soap, hopefully after a trip through the delicate cycle of the washer, she will be at least clean (still creepy) and less unhygenic. I'll post photos of Chuckie later - hopefully a CLEAN Chuckie.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Men.... Sheesh....
For all those keeping track of my men, well time to change the score card... Cross off horse man & old flame - they are out now. Scotsman is still there, but he's in a holding pattern as is Navy man. Roller Coaster man is still in the race - leading the race actually, but he just doesn't seem to freaking care! And there are NEW men. Dr. J is in now, I've been keeping him in a holding pattern for a couple of weeks and was begging for a date this weekend - I didn't realize his schedule was so tight or I would have had him take me out Friday or Saturday, right now he's on a place to Indiana for work for the rest of the week, he'll be back on Friday, yadda, yadda, yadda, - one of his last statements to me was "Now don't go finding someone else to see while I'm gone." Eh, too late. And there's Mr. Body (and he's got a fabulous body) who wants to buy me a plane ticket to accompany him on a trip soon - he's crazy about me, crazy, crazy, totally insane - it's the hair I tell you. Can't forget Lone Wolf and Lucky (he's Irish). Still in the interview process with most of them (Mr. Body might get the fast track interview. heh.)
With all these men I still act all desperate and stupid for Roller Coaster man, who of course doesn't seem to be impressed by any of my efforts. Sheesh, love sucks.
For all those keeping track of my men, well time to change the score card... Cross off horse man & old flame - they are out now. Scotsman is still there, but he's in a holding pattern as is Navy man. Roller Coaster man is still in the race - leading the race actually, but he just doesn't seem to freaking care! And there are NEW men. Dr. J is in now, I've been keeping him in a holding pattern for a couple of weeks and was begging for a date this weekend - I didn't realize his schedule was so tight or I would have had him take me out Friday or Saturday, right now he's on a place to Indiana for work for the rest of the week, he'll be back on Friday, yadda, yadda, yadda, - one of his last statements to me was "Now don't go finding someone else to see while I'm gone." Eh, too late. And there's Mr. Body (and he's got a fabulous body) who wants to buy me a plane ticket to accompany him on a trip soon - he's crazy about me, crazy, crazy, totally insane - it's the hair I tell you. Can't forget Lone Wolf and Lucky (he's Irish). Still in the interview process with most of them (Mr. Body might get the fast track interview. heh.)
With all these men I still act all desperate and stupid for Roller Coaster man, who of course doesn't seem to be impressed by any of my efforts. Sheesh, love sucks.
Coon Ass
I can't believe I forgot to mention this. Last week when I got home from seeing my Sancho I saw a big fat raccoon by the dumpster. He barely gave me a look as I hurried past him. I'm fascinated with the raccoons - fascinated but still a little leery after the whole rabid-coon-dieing-on-my-porch incident, so I try to get pictures of them but try to keep a 'safe' distance. I rushed in the door and grabbed my camera then headed outside. Coon was still munching on garbage when I got back and I snapped a picture of him from about 15 or 20 feet away. He wasn't too impressed with the flash and decided to leave on the other side of the wall - which incidentally had better lighting than the side I was standing on, so brilliant me, I decided to head the coon off at the pass and I raced to the end of the wall and across to intercept the raccoon. When I got there I looked for the coon but didn't see him anywhere, I was just starting to think that he was either much faster than me or he jumped over the wall before I got there - then I looked down by the bushes right in front of me and guess who was staring up at me from under the bushes? The damn coon! He was maybe 2 feet from my feet! I let out a little surprised noise and backed up really quick, but fuck if I didn't already scare the raccoon who had now turned around and was running back the way he came. Shit. I if I had just snapped that picture when I saw him instead of worrying about my well being and getting rabies if he decided to rush me, I would have had the perfect raccoon picture. Damn. So this is all I got... coon ass.
I can't believe I forgot to mention this. Last week when I got home from seeing my Sancho I saw a big fat raccoon by the dumpster. He barely gave me a look as I hurried past him. I'm fascinated with the raccoons - fascinated but still a little leery after the whole rabid-coon-dieing-on-my-porch incident, so I try to get pictures of them but try to keep a 'safe' distance. I rushed in the door and grabbed my camera then headed outside. Coon was still munching on garbage when I got back and I snapped a picture of him from about 15 or 20 feet away. He wasn't too impressed with the flash and decided to leave on the other side of the wall - which incidentally had better lighting than the side I was standing on, so brilliant me, I decided to head the coon off at the pass and I raced to the end of the wall and across to intercept the raccoon. When I got there I looked for the coon but didn't see him anywhere, I was just starting to think that he was either much faster than me or he jumped over the wall before I got there - then I looked down by the bushes right in front of me and guess who was staring up at me from under the bushes? The damn coon! He was maybe 2 feet from my feet! I let out a little surprised noise and backed up really quick, but fuck if I didn't already scare the raccoon who had now turned around and was running back the way he came. Shit. I if I had just snapped that picture when I saw him instead of worrying about my well being and getting rabies if he decided to rush me, I would have had the perfect raccoon picture. Damn. So this is all I got... coon ass.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Cosmically Wrong
I have to laugh at this - this was my horoscope for today:
Leo
Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
Some unexpected phone calls from friends or colleagues could bring you some wonderful news today, dear Leo. A serendipitous lucky break could end the logjam that has held up the attainment of all your hopes and dreams. Love, money, success in your career and personal development - all seem to be falling into place at once. You might spend much of the day walking around in a daze, trying to take it all in. Relax and stay focused. You're on your way!
heh... 'serendipitous lucky break' my ass.
I have to laugh at this - this was my horoscope for today:
Leo
Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
Some unexpected phone calls from friends or colleagues could bring you some wonderful news today, dear Leo. A serendipitous lucky break could end the logjam that has held up the attainment of all your hopes and dreams. Love, money, success in your career and personal development - all seem to be falling into place at once. You might spend much of the day walking around in a daze, trying to take it all in. Relax and stay focused. You're on your way!
heh... 'serendipitous lucky break' my ass.
Go Godzilla!
Despite the little people's behavior all day, they still amuse the hell out of me. I put Godzilla 2000 on as I could not sit through yet another one of the animated DVD's that they love so well. Just a moment ago they were chanting "Go Godzilla! Go Godzilla! Go Godzilla!" and now they are talking to the movie. Booing the bad guy. Brings back memories of watching Godzilla movies (in Japanese) when I was little.
Go Godzilla!
Despite the little people's behavior all day, they still amuse the hell out of me. I put Godzilla 2000 on as I could not sit through yet another one of the animated DVD's that they love so well. Just a moment ago they were chanting "Go Godzilla! Go Godzilla! Go Godzilla!" and now they are talking to the movie. Booing the bad guy. Brings back memories of watching Godzilla movies (in Japanese) when I was little.
Go Godzilla!
It's Only 1 PM and I'm Ready For The Day To Be OVER!
The toilet again, the husband home (screwing up my schedule), the not to happy e-mail from the guy, the project with holes... What more could I add to this perfect day you ask... A trip with the little people to Chick-Fila!
We go to my favorite fast food place, it's packed with moms and kids. The little people rush through their lunch by eating the 4 nuggets and refusing the waffle potatoes and head to the play area. Super Girl goes up to the large platform and then won't come down. A nice little boy comes out and tells us that she is scared. Her daddy goes and talkes to her but she wants me. I go in and stand on a bench (so I can see her) and talk for 10 minutes trying to talk her down. Mind you the actual 'fear' tears ended long ago, now she's just not coming down, ya see she's now realized that her being 'afraid' to go down or go up has garnered her some valuable attention from the other well meaning children. I finally leave to finish my luke warm nuggets. Hubby and I watch through the glass as the kids play - it's much like being at the zoo watching the monkeys. After a while of watching Super Girl hold court and Cabbage Patch climb UP the slide then scamper down the stairs we conclude that it's time to end the fun. Hubby goes in and tells the little people to come on down and get their ice cream. Cabbage Patch is down struggling with her socks before he gets all of icecream out. Super Girl on the other hand won't come down. I watch the monkey house for a while then relieve hubby to talk Super Girl down. She claims that she's far to afraid to come down or go up (and then down the slide). I of course see that this is just a load of bull she's shoveling as she seems to be having no problem playing with the other kids up there and that of course cause me to have to continue to call her name. We negotiate through the mesh about how she needs to come down, she will get her ice cream if she comes down, no ice cream if she doesn't, maybe we shouldn't have her birthday party now since she's to afraid to come down... Even idle threats to leave her there to live out the remainder of her days in the top loft of the Chick-Fil-a play area (I'm so freaking sure all the other moms in there were loving that one, thinking that I was such a suck ass mom right then). Super Girl kept telling me to come get her and I flat out told her that I could NOT do that. Hell I doubt I could have gotten my big ass up there and I am wearing a DRESS so I really really didn't think the other patrons of Chick-Fil-A would have appreciated something like THAT while they try to digest their chicken nuggets. It is a family restaurant after all! I give up and tell hubby it's his turn, get her out. He manages to wiggle up the awkwardly built for adults stairs and pulls her out. It was quite a site, I was glad he didn't get stuck!
*sigh* I'm ready for this day to be OVER.
I'm praying that my mail order tranqulizer gun will make it here before the little people wake from naps.
The toilet again, the husband home (screwing up my schedule), the not to happy e-mail from the guy, the project with holes... What more could I add to this perfect day you ask... A trip with the little people to Chick-Fila!
We go to my favorite fast food place, it's packed with moms and kids. The little people rush through their lunch by eating the 4 nuggets and refusing the waffle potatoes and head to the play area. Super Girl goes up to the large platform and then won't come down. A nice little boy comes out and tells us that she is scared. Her daddy goes and talkes to her but she wants me. I go in and stand on a bench (so I can see her) and talk for 10 minutes trying to talk her down. Mind you the actual 'fear' tears ended long ago, now she's just not coming down, ya see she's now realized that her being 'afraid' to go down or go up has garnered her some valuable attention from the other well meaning children. I finally leave to finish my luke warm nuggets. Hubby and I watch through the glass as the kids play - it's much like being at the zoo watching the monkeys. After a while of watching Super Girl hold court and Cabbage Patch climb UP the slide then scamper down the stairs we conclude that it's time to end the fun. Hubby goes in and tells the little people to come on down and get their ice cream. Cabbage Patch is down struggling with her socks before he gets all of icecream out. Super Girl on the other hand won't come down. I watch the monkey house for a while then relieve hubby to talk Super Girl down. She claims that she's far to afraid to come down or go up (and then down the slide). I of course see that this is just a load of bull she's shoveling as she seems to be having no problem playing with the other kids up there and that of course cause me to have to continue to call her name. We negotiate through the mesh about how she needs to come down, she will get her ice cream if she comes down, no ice cream if she doesn't, maybe we shouldn't have her birthday party now since she's to afraid to come down... Even idle threats to leave her there to live out the remainder of her days in the top loft of the Chick-Fil-a play area (I'm so freaking sure all the other moms in there were loving that one, thinking that I was such a suck ass mom right then). Super Girl kept telling me to come get her and I flat out told her that I could NOT do that. Hell I doubt I could have gotten my big ass up there and I am wearing a DRESS so I really really didn't think the other patrons of Chick-Fil-A would have appreciated something like THAT while they try to digest their chicken nuggets. It is a family restaurant after all! I give up and tell hubby it's his turn, get her out. He manages to wiggle up the awkwardly built for adults stairs and pulls her out. It was quite a site, I was glad he didn't get stuck!
*sigh* I'm ready for this day to be OVER.
I'm praying that my mail order tranqulizer gun will make it here before the little people wake from naps.
MOVIE REVIEW
Butterfly Effect
Holly crap! This is a great movie! I can't even talk about the movie without ruining something for those who haven't seen it but plan to. I must say that Kutcher shocked the crap out of me by being able to ACT well. I really didn't think he had it in him. If you seen the previews for the movie well you know the premise of the movie, so no need to explain there. It's a very intense movie and super creepy, kind of sad but in a bitter sweet kind of way. Go see it, unless you get creeped out easily - I had creepy dreams last night.
Butterfly Effect
Holly crap! This is a great movie! I can't even talk about the movie without ruining something for those who haven't seen it but plan to. I must say that Kutcher shocked the crap out of me by being able to ACT well. I really didn't think he had it in him. If you seen the previews for the movie well you know the premise of the movie, so no need to explain there. It's a very intense movie and super creepy, kind of sad but in a bitter sweet kind of way. Go see it, unless you get creeped out easily - I had creepy dreams last night.
Not ANOTHER Day
So hubby takes the day off today - for what? I don't fucking know. I thought to give me a break, ya know, a day off so to speak, but I'm not sure now. The little people are acting horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible. AND I had to have YET another round with The Toilet Of Doom! I hate my toilet.
Good thing: I did get to sleep in this morning as hubby was home and had instructed that the little people should be directed to him for attention this morning. I took that to heart. I got to sleep for an extra hour. Well rested for the rest of this day.
Bad thing: While I was washing my face, Cabbage Patch and Super Girl were in my bedroom and started messing with my sewing maching and the project I've been working on and cut it all to hell. I'm so pissed about that.
Good thing: I got some uninterupted time on the computer this morning.
Bad Thing: My schedule is totally off today.
*sigh* I think I'll go to lunch by myself. Anywhere I can get a large Roffy-colota!
So hubby takes the day off today - for what? I don't fucking know. I thought to give me a break, ya know, a day off so to speak, but I'm not sure now. The little people are acting horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible. AND I had to have YET another round with The Toilet Of Doom! I hate my toilet.
Good thing: I did get to sleep in this morning as hubby was home and had instructed that the little people should be directed to him for attention this morning. I took that to heart. I got to sleep for an extra hour. Well rested for the rest of this day.
Bad thing: While I was washing my face, Cabbage Patch and Super Girl were in my bedroom and started messing with my sewing maching and the project I've been working on and cut it all to hell. I'm so pissed about that.
Good thing: I got some uninterupted time on the computer this morning.
Bad Thing: My schedule is totally off today.
*sigh* I think I'll go to lunch by myself. Anywhere I can get a large Roffy-colota!
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
What A Wonderful Fucking Life
This morning started much like any other morning, the little people getting up way to damn early, me trying to convince them to go back to sleep, their daddy rushing out the door a few minutes late. Since yesterday was an abysmal day I decided that since it was forecast to be a warmer day and the sun seemed to be coming up it had to be a new day and a new day means a better day that yesterday.
The little people had a delightful breakfast of cookies and milk (blame their father, he's the one who bought the cookies and then left them within reach of Chaos and Destruction... I mean the little people). After breakfast I ushered the little people into the bathroom so I could take a shower, with them of course - as long as they are IN the shower bugging me they AREN'T wrecking havoc through out the house to surprise me with. After the shower I flushed my toilet and guess what? It fills to the top and threatens to over flow. Yay. I've been having trouble with the damn toilet for about a week and have had to plunge it about 3 times. So I wait for the water to slowly recede and start plunging. Yuck. It seemed that the water was receding, although it just might have been the plunging that was splashing the icky toilet water out onto my recently cleaned bathroom floor and mat. I was completely disgusted as always when I have to deal with the toilet. With much trepidation I pushed the handle down on the toilet and prayed for it to flush. No such luck. It filled with water and then did the dreaded overflow. Shit. I drop my freshly laundered towels on the floor and shoved my red bath mat closer to the toilet to save my toes from being dampened by toilet water. Grrr.... Briefly I considered letting the water recede before continuing to plunge as to avoid getting MORE icky toilet water on my floor but abandoned that plan when I remembered the little people and how an overflowing toilet is just an invitation for something really horrible to happen or be dropped into said toilet. It was time to get medieval on it's ass (the Toilet of Doom that is...). I plunged my 'Super Plunger' into the water and started plunging with gusto - partially out of frustration and anger and partially out of desperation to get this taken care of so I could get to where the little people were and make certain they were not causing more destruction in my household. More water on the floor, the other bath mat getting wet from the expanding river of water heading for the door. Finally I hear the blessed noise of the toilet submitting to my superiority and clearing. Ahhh-Ha! I had won! I conquered the dreaded Toilet of Doom! Me and my 'Super Plunger' had vanquished the blockage! I reveled in my victory over the Toilet of Doom for just a moment as I heard the squeals of the little people and immediately feared what they were doing. Then I gathered up all the icky wet towels and bid my Super Plunger good-bye, until our next battle with the Toilet of Doom.
This morning started much like any other morning, the little people getting up way to damn early, me trying to convince them to go back to sleep, their daddy rushing out the door a few minutes late. Since yesterday was an abysmal day I decided that since it was forecast to be a warmer day and the sun seemed to be coming up it had to be a new day and a new day means a better day that yesterday.
The little people had a delightful breakfast of cookies and milk (blame their father, he's the one who bought the cookies and then left them within reach of Chaos and Destruction... I mean the little people). After breakfast I ushered the little people into the bathroom so I could take a shower, with them of course - as long as they are IN the shower bugging me they AREN'T wrecking havoc through out the house to surprise me with. After the shower I flushed my toilet and guess what? It fills to the top and threatens to over flow. Yay. I've been having trouble with the damn toilet for about a week and have had to plunge it about 3 times. So I wait for the water to slowly recede and start plunging. Yuck. It seemed that the water was receding, although it just might have been the plunging that was splashing the icky toilet water out onto my recently cleaned bathroom floor and mat. I was completely disgusted as always when I have to deal with the toilet. With much trepidation I pushed the handle down on the toilet and prayed for it to flush. No such luck. It filled with water and then did the dreaded overflow. Shit. I drop my freshly laundered towels on the floor and shoved my red bath mat closer to the toilet to save my toes from being dampened by toilet water. Grrr.... Briefly I considered letting the water recede before continuing to plunge as to avoid getting MORE icky toilet water on my floor but abandoned that plan when I remembered the little people and how an overflowing toilet is just an invitation for something really horrible to happen or be dropped into said toilet. It was time to get medieval on it's ass (the Toilet of Doom that is...). I plunged my 'Super Plunger' into the water and started plunging with gusto - partially out of frustration and anger and partially out of desperation to get this taken care of so I could get to where the little people were and make certain they were not causing more destruction in my household. More water on the floor, the other bath mat getting wet from the expanding river of water heading for the door. Finally I hear the blessed noise of the toilet submitting to my superiority and clearing. Ahhh-Ha! I had won! I conquered the dreaded Toilet of Doom! Me and my 'Super Plunger' had vanquished the blockage! I reveled in my victory over the Toilet of Doom for just a moment as I heard the squeals of the little people and immediately feared what they were doing. Then I gathered up all the icky wet towels and bid my Super Plunger good-bye, until our next battle with the Toilet of Doom.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
By Moms For Moms
I'm convinced Valium was developed by mothers for other mothers. *sigh* I also belive Ritalin was developed on the same principal - by moms for kids. The same results is all that matters.
The little people are coming down with colds (yay me) and this makes them tired, cranky and hyper. Yes hyper. This is why I'm dreaming wistfully of Valium and Ritalin. The living room is littered with blocks and puzzle pieces. A recent inspection of the loud thumping in their room lead to the discovery (by me) of a small mud slide of books from their book shelf and one of their beds (toddler beds) turned over, I'm not sure what the loud thumping was but I think it had to do with one or both of them jumping. Oh yes and how can I forget - Cabbage Patch was sans pants. 20 minutes earlier I had found her in my bed with the blanket pulled over her head screaming 'Hide and seek!' to me, when I pulled the covers back I found a naked toddler. *sigh* Yes I know, naked and toddler go hand in hand. We had this conversation:
Me: Why are you naked?
Her: Naked!!
Me: Where are your clothes?
Her:Uptares
Me: Why are you naked?
Her: Wet
Me: Why are your clothes wet?
Her: I duno
Me: Put your clothes back on.
Her: *giggles* Naked!
Valium. Ritalin... hell I'd even settle for some Roofies. (just kidding)
I'm convinced Valium was developed by mothers for other mothers. *sigh* I also belive Ritalin was developed on the same principal - by moms for kids. The same results is all that matters.
The little people are coming down with colds (yay me) and this makes them tired, cranky and hyper. Yes hyper. This is why I'm dreaming wistfully of Valium and Ritalin. The living room is littered with blocks and puzzle pieces. A recent inspection of the loud thumping in their room lead to the discovery (by me) of a small mud slide of books from their book shelf and one of their beds (toddler beds) turned over, I'm not sure what the loud thumping was but I think it had to do with one or both of them jumping. Oh yes and how can I forget - Cabbage Patch was sans pants. 20 minutes earlier I had found her in my bed with the blanket pulled over her head screaming 'Hide and seek!' to me, when I pulled the covers back I found a naked toddler. *sigh* Yes I know, naked and toddler go hand in hand. We had this conversation:
Me: Why are you naked?
Her: Naked!!
Me: Where are your clothes?
Her:Uptares
Me: Why are you naked?
Her: Wet
Me: Why are your clothes wet?
Her: I duno
Me: Put your clothes back on.
Her: *giggles* Naked!
Valium. Ritalin... hell I'd even settle for some Roofies. (just kidding)
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Smooth Move...
Today I had one of those moments today that was utterly poetic. I went into the room for my 1:30 pm appointment. The mom was a bit on the bitchy side and for some reason was acting like a bit of a tight-ass. Luckily the baby was dressed and ready as the grandmothers were in the room and they started hovering over what I was doing as soon as I entered the room. The mom and the grandmas were making making me uptight. I get the information and start taking pictures. After the pictures everyone is crowded around my picture cart and I turn to look at something and when I do my elbow knocks something over behind me - I look - a big bottle of chocolate milk - I just spilled a big bottle of chocolate milk on the mom's tray and on some photos that were sitting on the tray. Shit. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, I can NOT believe I just did that. The grandmas scramble to clean everything up as the parents look at the photos. I figure that such a brilliant fuck up will mean that they will NOT buy photos, but I'm wrong, they buy a nice size package and I'm relieved to be out of their room so I can have my anxiety attack in peace and quiet. All I can think as I leave is "smooth move Ex-lax". Later I can not stop laughing as I remember the look on the mom's face (something between utter suprised and homicidal rage) after I spilled that chocolate milk. hehehe.... I'm such a klutz.
Today I had one of those moments today that was utterly poetic. I went into the room for my 1:30 pm appointment. The mom was a bit on the bitchy side and for some reason was acting like a bit of a tight-ass. Luckily the baby was dressed and ready as the grandmothers were in the room and they started hovering over what I was doing as soon as I entered the room. The mom and the grandmas were making making me uptight. I get the information and start taking pictures. After the pictures everyone is crowded around my picture cart and I turn to look at something and when I do my elbow knocks something over behind me - I look - a big bottle of chocolate milk - I just spilled a big bottle of chocolate milk on the mom's tray and on some photos that were sitting on the tray. Shit. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, I can NOT believe I just did that. The grandmas scramble to clean everything up as the parents look at the photos. I figure that such a brilliant fuck up will mean that they will NOT buy photos, but I'm wrong, they buy a nice size package and I'm relieved to be out of their room so I can have my anxiety attack in peace and quiet. All I can think as I leave is "smooth move Ex-lax". Later I can not stop laughing as I remember the look on the mom's face (something between utter suprised and homicidal rage) after I spilled that chocolate milk. hehehe.... I'm such a klutz.
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